Whodathunk

I had heard repeatedly in AA not to make any big decisions in your first two years of sobriety. I realize that there are big decisions that you can't really avoid making, but in general I understood this. If you had an option, better to hold off till you were on more solid ground. That type of thing.

So I would have been 5 years sober in October except for a "choice" I made 1.4 years ago to see if I could drink socially. That resulted in 3 months of hell trying to go 24 hours without drinking. The good news was knowing absolutely for sure what happens when I take ONE SIP - I will never forget.

I kind of wonder if "WE" sometimes go on a bender because when you take that step to have "just one" then realize it might have been a bad idea, I can hear (at least my own) my brain's alcoholic logic of "Well, since you aren't going to be trying this stupid ass experiment again, you might as well really make it a solid bender...........". Don't know....

So since I am getting older and there is too much to remember, I am going to say "I have been sober now for 5 plus years", even though technically it is not true.

I decided in June/July to fish and see if someone might be interested in buying my small company. Yes there was. I backed out of the deal once, my gut telling me the people were sketchy, but was talked into coming to see their facility fully paid for, so, why not. I can maybe learn something. Nothing wrong with listening right?

So I was sold. And they made me a HELL of an offer to buy my company, then to stay on with a nice base salary plus commission, commission on my own sales, and commission on reps I would manage. Start date would be Jan 1. Training was to be at corporate last Tuesday. But I had yet to receive "in writing, or email" my deal. I finally said I was not coming without the deal to look at. Flight is scheduled to depart at 6:35am, and I received "The Deal" at 1:15 am. Yep, was awake, had not slept a wink.

The offer was not what we agreed on, neither was my management agreement. Two different guys (one was the owner, one was my 'to be' manager), both changed my verbal offer. The buy out was changed 5 hours before my flight. I think the owner wanted me THERE at corporate when I discovered the email so they would try and steamroll me into taking the deal. My new sales rep (that I did not hire, nor would I have) was there, so there would have been lots of guilt **** thrown my way.

I did not board that flight. Resulting emails questioned my memory, then accused me of misrepresenting the sales of my company, false and false.

So.......................I don't know what would have happened to me had I tried to sell my company early on in sobriety (the first two years) and this had happened then. I can tell you that at 3:00am, that corked liter bottle of red wine that my wife left half full was looking quite tempting, mostly because that was my pattern before. "Get pissed off, or let down, or feel like I got ****** (or someone tried ******* me)" and that bottle would have been emptied in minutes. And I would have been on my way to a blackout bender. That's just me. But I recognized "THE MOMENT" and sat with it, and prayed about it, and guess what? "That Too Did Pass" (my mantra that has helped me get past those moments of uncertainty).

So, I am grateful for the "time" and the "tools" that I have. We all find our own tools that work for each and every one of us. I almost took that deal and it would have been a bad decisions. It was a GREAT deal till they changed it. Ha, that old cliche "When it's too good to be true it probably isn't" certainly held true on this one.

So, this was my biggest moment/decision, or lack of, during my sobriety so far. I have one other big one that I am going to have to deal with. It won't be fun. But not all decisions that are good for us are.

So thanks for listening, I mostly just needed to do a brain dump on this deal now that the dust has settled on it.

Happy Holidays to all of you! Don't drink. This too shall pass!!! It always does. The only other option which is to drink, usually does not end up real well for us, at least not for me. I hold firm on my pretty sure knowing that I really don't have one more relapse in me. And I know I can't drink socially. In fact, luckily for me, I really can't have that first sip. That first sip is like having strapped on the seatbelt on the rollercoaster and the dude pushed the starting button. My ride starts at the first sip and there is no stopping my ride till it ends. I know the next time most likely will not end with me alive.

biminiblue

Wow. What a ride. All of that. ^^

Great post.

BrendaChenowyth

It's easy to imagine how a scenario like that would play out if one was still actively drinking.. woof.. You were able to avoid falling in to that trap, and you have your sobriety to thank. Love it.

Bird615

Well done.

The longer I am sober and the more spiritually grounded I am, the better I am able to follow my intuition.

Timebuster

Good job Whodathunk, I enjoyed your post

TB

thomas11

The stresses of my business were at the root of my drinking (and probably the culture). I've since sold my business but I learned that owning a business is jungle warfare, and you must be on your toes. And it sounds like you were. Glad to hear you got through it and things are going well.

SnazzyDresser

excellent post, Whodathunk! Very instructive in so many ways.

dwtbd

great post , way to hang on to yer guns , I'm not sure I'd have been able to stick to waiting for the offer, I would probably have went and then been stuck in 'their' turf getting steamrolled, great life share and lesson, you're awesome, thx

Dee74

I'm glad you got through that sober Whodathunk

D

PhoenixJ

Very good thunking. It is not what we know but how we use it.....a good example for me to think on and remember, thankyou.