Question
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Life is better without alcohol. Most people don't drink at all. You won't find them in the bars or at the cocktail parties. You also won't find them in the hospitals either, dying of liver disease, pancreas issues or other alcohol related problems. And there are plenty of those.
You are really making the right choice, it's true. The part of you that mourns and grieves is just the part of you that wants to keep drinking. The part of you that wants and deserves a life without the horror and shame of addiction is happy it is free to be and to live a full and honest life.
You are right, those thoughts you identified as being unhelpful really are. But you hit on something big there. Keep on recognizing those thoughts that support drinking for what they are - the death throes of that addiction to alcohol. Recognize them with your full focus. Then understand that they are no longer you because you have decided that you don't drink under any circumstance. No matter what.
You got this, Trying. Hope you keep posting.
You are really making the right choice, it's true. The part of you that mourns and grieves is just the part of you that wants to keep drinking. The part of you that wants and deserves a life without the horror and shame of addiction is happy it is free to be and to live a full and honest life.
You are right, those thoughts you identified as being unhelpful really are. But you hit on something big there. Keep on recognizing those thoughts that support drinking for what they are - the death throes of that addiction to alcohol. Recognize them with your full focus. Then understand that they are no longer you because you have decided that you don't drink under any circumstance. No matter what.
You got this, Trying. Hope you keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Hi. I failed the other night (Wedbesday, my day 22 of being alcohol free). I'm ashamed and disappointed. I think I had to fail just once so I could see how failure felt. It was awful - so not worth it. I made it through all of Thursday and all of today. I'm going to bed now because it's easier. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make it through the next two days I'm spending with family, who will all be drinking. I feel like if I do make it through Saturday and Sunday then have a real shot at being successful again (the "again" meaning my 22 days of success). Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm not fan of the 'I had to drink again to remind myself how awful it was' idea - I think it amazing (in a bad way) how we can rationalise a truly horrible destructive idea.... but what's done is done.
This thread has a lot of links for ideas for social occasions and staying sober
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Bottom line is be prepared for rationalisations and bad ideas - do whatever you have to to not drink - and you can make a sober Christmas - the first of many
D
This thread has a lot of links for ideas for social occasions and staying sober
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Bottom line is be prepared for rationalisations and bad ideas - do whatever you have to to not drink - and you can make a sober Christmas - the first of many
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm not fan of the 'I had to drink again to remind myself how awful it was' idea - I think it amazing (in a bad way) how we can rationalise a truly horrible destructive idea.... but what's done is done.
This thread has a lot of links for ideas for social occasions and staying sober
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Bottom line is be prepared for rationalisations and bad ideas - do whatever you have to to not drink - and you can make a sober Christmas - the first of many
D
This thread has a lot of links for ideas for social occasions and staying sober
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
Bottom line is be prepared for rationalisations and bad ideas - do whatever you have to to not drink - and you can make a sober Christmas - the first of many
D
No, I don't think it's a good idea either as a plan/rationalization, but I was just trying to figure out why I broke (I think thinking about that is crucial) , and I truly think that recognizing how awful it felt to relapse (a feeling I hadn't had before) will be important to my recovery. It's certainly not that I'm a "fan" of that rationalization but rather I'm a fan of understanding how something good (knowledge) can come from understanding.. Having quit smoking, I recall the same false starts initially.
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 847
Originally Posted by trying12345
I think I had to fail just once so I could see how failure felt. It was awful - so not worth it.
Would it then be okay for you to continue drinking?
Perspective is important, and you have succeeded at tempting fate, which is why you are concerned about the future.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
There's nothing wrong with taking some good from a bad decision.
It's just that when we're dealing with addiction, and submitting ourselves again to something we've proven we cannot control, we may not get another chance to learn from our mistakes.
I think the stakes are really that high.
D
It's just that when we're dealing with addiction, and submitting ourselves again to something we've proven we cannot control, we may not get another chance to learn from our mistakes.
I think the stakes are really that high.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by trying12345
While I am excited to one say feel more stable, not crave alcohol, save money, sleep better, exercise more, etc....I am still mourning, i guess, not being able to drink like a "normal" person. I know I can't. I know if I have one drink tonight, I will have the whole bottle. Then I'd have a bottle every night. But, I already miss being able to have drinks with friends/family. For me, and for them, those were fun times. It's still sad for me to think that those times are over. Of course, I am aware those times don't outweigh all the countless negatives, but it still feels unfair. I better get off this train of thought. Doesn't seem like a good one.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/...-lover-alcohol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by Dee74
There's nothing wrong with taking some good from a bad decision.
It's just that when we're dealing with addiction, and submitting ourselves again to something we've proven we cannot control, we may not get another chance to learn from our mistakes.
I think the stakes are really that high.
D
It's just that when we're dealing with addiction, and submitting ourselves again to something we've proven we cannot control, we may not get another chance to learn from our mistakes.
I think the stakes are really that high.
D
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