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gatorade 12-17-2016 06:59 AM

21 hours since my last drink
 
I'm 26. There's been periods in my past where I've drank heavily, and then stopped/tapered down with no ill effects really. I have been a daily drinker since the beginning of summer (after a 4 month highly productive period of being sober). Usually anywhere from 3-8 beers with the occasional binge. For the past month or so I've been drinking a lot of hard alcohol. Anywhere from 5 to 15 shots per day.

Earlier this week I went on a 3-4 day bender, basically staying drunk the entire day (6AM to 9PM). Making terrible decisions. Blacking out at night. Thursday night I blacked out again, puked, and then passed out in bed.

Friday morning I woke up at 5 AM, entire body shaking. I got up and took a shot. It calmed me down for about 5 hours, then anxiety/elevated heart-rate and sweaty palms set in. Felt like I couldn't sit still, was pacing around my room.

Had 1 shot every hour or so, until 2 PM. Then I stopped. Mainly because I felt I would puke if I took the next shot (I almost puked on my last one).

I couldn't eat anything, had no appetite. Took one bite of lunch/dinner and thought I was going to puke (I didn't though - barely). Thankfully I had no other symptoms besides anxiety, light-headiness, sweaty palms, and moderate nausea. I drank water/gatorade all day and took some multi-vitamins.

Went up to bed early, and finally fell asleep around 9 or 10. I woke up a couple times throughout the night and had some gatorade/water. Really vivid dreams, no nightmares though. Got up at 5 AM and felt better, and was actually able to eat some food (first time in over 24 hours). A lot of days I don't eat until dinner, because if I day drink on an empty stomach I can get drunk quicker. Thursday night when I blacked out I only had one small meal in the middle of the day, and about a fifth of rum.

Now it's 21 hours after my last drink yesterday. Anxiety/sweaty palms are still here. Heart-rate is lowered, but when the anxiety ramps up it increases. I'm also experiencing infrequent diarrhea. I'm hoping these are the only symptoms I will need to deal with.

To be honest I'm lucky to not be dead or in jail with the stuff I've done this week. I just want to feel 'normal' again. Appreciate this site a lot, reading all of your stories/updates gives me some hope.

ScottFromWI 12-17-2016 07:25 AM

Welcome Gatorade. Alcohol can really cause a lot of problems and glad you are here seeking help. You'll find a lot of support an experience of folks who have gone through similar ( or worse ). Don't be afraid to seek medical help if the withdrawals get too bad.

SoberLifeForMe 12-17-2016 07:43 AM

Hi, Gatorade. Welcome to SR! Good job on getting to almost a day without drinking. As Scott said, however, don't hesitate to seek medical advice if the withdrawals get any worse.

I'm about a day and a half without booze, so not too far ahead of you. Unfortunately, this is a recurring theme for me throughout the past year or so. Let me assure you, if you take my route and keep relapsing, the drinking gets worse, and the withdrawals get worse. Don't follow my path. Just stay of the booze, period.

Have a peaceful day, and hope you get feeling better soon. See you around SR!

Mester 12-17-2016 12:41 PM

Don't be afraid to seek medical help. I quit cold turkey after a 6 year binge and had a grand mal seizure.

waynetheking 12-17-2016 02:00 PM

Hang in there buddy. It will only get better. Just don't drink.

doublecheck 12-17-2016 03:26 PM

Well done!
 
Each hour write a post rather then a shot! Keep busy! keep it going great work!

Biglebowski27 12-17-2016 04:01 PM

Hope you start feeling better soon. The "fear" feeling is miserable, I'd roll out of bed and walk in place for hours sometimes. Made drinking not worth it to me

gatorade 12-19-2016 11:57 AM

Thank you all for the support. It's been a little over 72 hours since my last drink.

The withdrawal symptoms I have been experiencing have gone down a lot. My heart-rate is normal, and I have way less "brain fog." I sweat a lot last night in bed, and again had really vivid dreams..but woke up and had a big breakfast - first time in months. Usually I just wake up and start drinking, or don't have anything to eat so when I do start drinking I can get drunk faster.

I think my mini-taper on Friday helped with lessening my symptoms. I'm lucky/thankful they didn't progress past what I was experiencing because even though it was manageable, it wasn't comfortable at all.

I get cravings, especially yesterday when I felt half-way decent and thought "I could probably handle a few drinks by now." They will probably get worse with the holidays coming up. Been years since I had a family holiday where I wasn't drunk for a lot of it. I still have a fifth of rum in my truck (unopened). I'm going to pour it down the drain soon.

Dee74 12-19-2016 01:12 PM

I'm glad you're feeling better Gatorade :)

D

Flyfisher125 12-19-2016 09:54 PM

Pour that fifth out bud. Make your sobriety the number one care for you this holiday season. Don't be afraid to remove yourself from situations and take a short walk, call someone, or visit these forums. With sobriety, it sounds extreme, but we are literally talking about life and premature death. Hang in there Gatorade and be proud in your sober self!

Flyfisher125 12-19-2016 09:57 PM

I'm 15 days sober after a 5 day binge. I'm working on prioritizing my sobriety as well. I've told my family about my issues with alcohol and am blessed to have them support me. Really makes the holidays easier. If you have even one family member who knows what's going on it can be helpful.

ByHisLove 12-20-2016 09:28 AM

How are you feeling? Did you get that rum down the drain where it belongs?

gatorade 12-23-2016 02:41 PM

Well it's been over 7 days since my last drink. I feel about 100x better than what I felt this time last week.

The cravings come and go, especially at night. I've been focusing on work and exercise, reading. Just trying to stay busy.

I have an addictive personality, it's not just alcohol. In my past I abused other substances..nearly every single major problem in my life has been caused by my addiction issues.

It would be so easy for me to go to the liquor store, buy a bottle or a case of beer, and start this all over again..but I know that "just one drink" will eventually lead me down the same path. Getting absolutely trashed, blacking out, making idiotic decisions. Maybe someday I can drink just socially, having one or two drinks .. but not anytime soon. I need to stay sober for a while and get my life squared away.



Originally Posted by Flyfisher125 (Post 6252446)
I'm 15 days sober after a 5 day binge. I'm working on prioritizing my sobriety as well. I've told my family about my issues with alcohol and am blessed to have them support me. Really makes the holidays easier. If you have even one family member who knows what's going on it can be helpful.

My older sister who is in AA is coming tomorrow. She will support me (and has been), which I'm grateful for. Nobody else knows I'm even sober, although they probably notice I'm not having beer/wine with dinner every night.


Originally Posted by peduncles (Post 6252687)
Hi Gatorade! I'm glad you are feeling better. You should still go for a check-up just to be safe. Medical advice is very helpful in recovery. :) Hoping all the best for you. :c011:

I agree, but I don't like doctors. After the new year I plan on getting a physical though.


Originally Posted by ByHisLove (Post 6253036)
How are you feeling? Did you get that rum down the drain where it belongs?

It's still in my truck. I don't know why I haven't gotten rid of it yet. Going to dump it out tonight.

waynetheking 12-23-2016 03:38 PM

If you stay sober long enough you won't desire to drink socially or any other time for that matter. Life is better without it. 7 days is great. Just keep going.

PhoenixJ 12-23-2016 03:42 PM

Prayers

Dee74 12-24-2016 02:50 PM

Congrats on your week. Hope you dumped the rum :)

Mester 12-24-2016 08:56 PM

This post gives me hope. My BAC was at .22 at the time of my last drink. Took me all day to get it back to 0 so I could start my Librium taper. Been 64 hours since I did that. The fact you're feeling better at 72 gives me some piece of mind. I know not all withdrawals are the same but it gives me hope. Now if I could just get some sleep

Delilah1 12-24-2016 09:02 PM

Glad you made it through the first week. You are so smart to stop at such a young age. I'm glad you have your sister for support.

Delilah1 12-24-2016 09:03 PM


Originally Posted by Mester (Post 6259466)
This post gives me hope. My BAC was at .22 at the time of my last drink. Took me all day to get it back to 0 so I could start my Librium taper. Been 64 hours since I did that. The fact you're feeling better at 72 gives me some piece of mind. I know not all withdrawals are the same but it gives me hope. Now if I could just get some sleep

Hang in there Mester, it will get easier each day. ❤️

jq882 12-25-2016 03:12 AM

It's really quite comforting to know there are other people out there going through similar situation. 5 hours ago I gave my mum the rest of my vodka, I'm quite chuffed with myself for doing it. I think we need to give ourselves a break and remember what we are going through is not easy. It's really hard knowing what to do with yourself during the withdrawal. Merry Xmas and good luck to you all


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