ClearLight

For about 1-2 years I've been sporadically attending AA meetings at one particular location. It's a location that has a lot of different meetings there - Al Anon too.
I haven't been working the program and I have still been drinking. When I get to a meeting it is always uplifting to me.
I've never shared because I always felt like that was for people working the program. Also, I didn't want people to notice me. I just scooted out as soon as the meeting was over.
Now, I'm finally warming up to the possibility of working the steps. There is a lot I don't like in the Big Book - especially the beginning Chapter Five. But I figure at least I can maybe get to know some people there.
Two issues have me worried.
1. What if I can't stop? Then I can't go to meetings anymore?
2. Concerned about a relationship with a sponsor. I really don't like sharing crap and faults in my life and myself with others. I especially don't want a sponsor trying to "advise" me about non-alcohol areas of my life. Such as jobs or women.

Now to meeting people:
A few weeks ago I went to a meeting where everybody introduced themselves and stated their amount of sober time. Mine was four days. I really stood out because that made me the only person with less than 30 days sober.
Since I've been at meetings for a while I recognized faces and characters where they don't recognize me because I don't share.
Anyway, during the meeting, one of the guys I really didn't want to meet shared to me about, hey, he'd be happy to walk me through the steps. And after the meeting he made a beeline over to me. Thankfully he didn't offer to be my sponsor. That bummed me out.
About a week ago I got it together to go to another meeting at a different location. A small meeting. After the meeting I thanked a guy next to me for his share. We talked for a bit, he was withdrawing from opioids and really hurting. I told him about the other location and that they had a meeting the next night. Seemed like a good thing to do. He asked for my number to be able to text me so I said fine. I was surprised because he knew I was a guy with less than 30 days. He texted me twice the next day and then three times the day after that. The final time he wanted me to send him a prayer that he would say instead of going to a meeting that night. That creeped me out. I'm not gay and that just made my skin crawl.
So, my meeting people at these meetings has not been pleasant so far. I'm going again tonight to a meeting at the original location but I'm really having to force myself to walk in the door.
Any thoughts would be a appreciated.

Coldfusion

Hi Clearlight!

First, keep going to meetings even if you are drinking. As long as you have a desire to stop, AA meetings are for you.

Second, as I understand it, the "program" of AA is the Twelve Steps, and there is no requirement of a sponsor. It is necessary to do a sort of "confession," but this may be done with a clergyman or therapist.

As far as the social aspects of meetings go, I would say just keep trying different meetings until you feel comfortable.

fini

clear light,
the desire to stop drinking is a requirement for membership, not for meeting attendance. You can attend an 'open' meeting anytime you wnt, drinking or not.

and it is not a sponsor' job to advise you about women, men, jobs, money, ....their job is to guide through the steps.

there is a pamphlet available on the AA website, all about sponsorship. You may find it helpful.