picturebigger

i know alcohol comes in many forms, and alcoholism appears in many forms. quantity doesn't matter, i know. i just want to meet somebody anybody who has or has had it in the same form and quantity as me. 24 beers every single day. i don't know anyone like me. i feel like i'm in a "league" of my own. i feel like i can't be cured. not much research online about creatures like me, i'm sure other people like me exist but i don't know any of them. i don't know anyone who drinks as much as me. it makes quitting that much more intimidating from the start. "wow, 24 beers a day? sorry, no advice for that. you're screwed" is how i feel. but all of that is probably just my addiction creating pessimism, i understand. fact remains though, believing i'm even sicker than the sick doesn't help. i'm obviously and definitely really sick.

and no offense to those of you who drank/drink the equivalent in liquor or wine or otherwise, i understand you really can relate. i'd just love to hear from at least 1 person somewhere out there, who can exactly relate to my beer situation. i drink coffee from 7-9am, i drink beer from 10am-midnight or later. i want a beer at 9:01am, i force myself to wait til 10am and counting the minutes is miserable, and i know it won't be long before i can't even wait that 1hr. can anyone relate to that? or am i right... i'm a legendary alcoholic in a league of his own, can't be cured, soon to be filed away in the "epic failure, i can't believe he lived as long as he did" folder?

ChloeRose63

When I was in college and even later I thought "Beer Is Food". Never counted how many but, when ever I was hungry I would drink a beer or 6...

SnazzyDresser

That was totally me as well, for the last 2.5 years of my drinking career. 24 was where I started each day. In my relapse binge this May, I was hitting mid-30s some days. Mind-bottling, as I think about it now. I'd have 2 cups of coffee every day when I woke up, then beers would start about an hour later. After 3 or 4 beers, I'd eat some eggs and toast for breakfast.

BrendaChenowyth

I think we all know that person who goes through a case a day.

What? I'm just saying. Not to burst any illusions of grandeur.

Please don't ever feel like you're alone or that you're farther gone than anyone else.

Ariesagain

Author Stephen King was drinking a case of 16 ounce beers plus taking large quantities of cocaine every day when he got sober in the late 1980s. He's been sober ever since.

None of us is ever truly unique...there are people here who were hooked on Comet cleanser. For every horror story there are a dozen people who were just as far gone.

So...what's next for you?

soberlicious

Nope. Sorry. But it looks like the addicted part of you enjoys the fact that it has planted that thought and that you're buying it.

Why? How is this any different that someone who drinks any other type of alcohol all day? If you're going to compare by volume to alcohol content, the booze drinker is a "worse case" than you, except that none of that matters. You hit the nail on the head already...this is just a ridiculous ploy by your addiction to keep getting what it wants.
Stop believing it then.

What's your plan?

BullDog777

Two years before i got clean i was drinking 24 a day. it took me a 12 pack to be able to eat without throwing up. at my worst, the most i ever did in a day was 41 beers. at the end of my drinking, i was drinking nearly a 2 liter bottle of vodka a day. I spent 6 days in the hospital and another 3+ months in rehab.

i thought i was hopeless. 9+ months later, i feel better than i have in years.
I'm glad i went to the hospital.

Doug39

From 1990 to 1995 I only drank whiskey.

I believe one ounce of whiskey equals one beer.

For 5 years I drank anywhere from 20 to 40 ounces per day on average every single day.

By the end of those 5 years my brain was mush. I switched to beer, wine, and an occasional shot everyday for the next 20+ years.

Nothing I am proud of.

shortstop81

Now that you've heard from people who've had the same amounts as you - are you willing to see that you can get sober too?

It doesn't matter how unique or bad off you think you are. No one is a hopeless case.

2muchpain

yeah, 24 beers a day is a lot of beer!!!! I have drunk that much beer in a day, but other times, I'll drink a 12 pack and a litre bottle of vodka. Sometimes, an 18 pack and a pint of vodka. It just depends.
I don't think it depends on what we drink or how much we drink, but that we are all addicted to alcohol. There's no difference between a beer drinker, hard liquor drinker or a wine drinker. We all end up in the same place if we don't stop. John

zjw

i averaged 15-20 a night and i had a rule no drinking till after 5pm but i dunno the last 6 months or so i was drinking at noon or 3 or 4 pm just trying to get the edge off. And i REALLY wanted to drink all day long but I had 2 problems with that I was not sure if ic ould hold down my job but the bigger issue was I new I could not afford that level of consumption I was in a really tough bind I was pricing various ways to get my boooze cheaper so that I could however and was concocting a plan to do so.

After I sobered up and read at places here I realized a lot of what iw as dealing with between 3am-5pm was withdrawels. I learned that if I would have just kept drinking I could have avoided those. This scares me because if I ever relapse I know all day long drinking will be the magical solution for my AV to avoid those crummy sober hours that I had back then.

There is hope however. People sober up every day etc..

Grungehead

Quantity didn't matter that much to me (maybe it did to my liver), it was what the alcohol was doing to me that mattered. The last couple of years I was drinking 14-16 beers a day...slow and steady all day. I was super depressed, isolated and becoming suicidal towards the end, and I don't think it would have made much difference if my daily intake was 14 beers or 24 beers.

picturebigger

thanks everyone. i think i worded it slightly wrong, i'm definitely not narcissistic to think i'm the 'Holier than Thou' King Who Drinks Most. i just wanted to hear someone say they were just as bad off in the beer category as me. i can't explain it.

my next question all along was going to be to those who did relate and kicked their 24+ beer addiction, about going through PAWS.

i quit twice. 34 days, 37 days. both times, 30 days of getting truly physically sober was doable and successful. both times i relapsed within the first week of sober. it's the living sober thing. i've learned it was PAWS. it's honestly why i've put off quitting again (til now, hence why i'm here again). it scared me... 30 days was long and miserable, i was blown away how this recovery gets HARDER after that. it's not just physical, anyone can suck it up and get through that. the PAWS was the most profound thing my mind has ever gone through, as seen when i relapsed 4 days and 7 days into it. after 30 days of hardcore determination, i completely caved within a few more days. why did the determination vanish?

i truly don't know how to prepare myself anymore, to keep focus on those 40, 50, 60 days, then 90 days where i hear it finally eases up. i was SO determined, til PAWS came. i swear i'm a sane person, but PAWS took me on a trip. i can't explain it. mind was all over the place, all i can say.

how do you escape it? when AA and outpatient aren't available at that inescapable moment? ugh.. i dread it. but i'll do it. i have to. again.

picturebigger

exactly me. 14 or 24 who cares, feels like 70 every day anyway, i know i buy a case every day. depressed, isolated, becoming worse is where it's really at. miserable.

ScottFromWI

There will always be difficulties to face in life picturebigger. I drank beer exclusively and a lot of it, for a long time. PAWS in itself is not a diagnosable condition as much as a collection of other symptoms that are common in recovering addicts. How much you drank and how long really isn't a direct indicator of whether you will have it or not. Bottom line you are letting the thought of something in the future hold you back from something you need to do now. Are you ready to do it?

Mountainmanbob

I have known ones who drank prox 24 beers a day.

But most that I remember died of alcoholism.

If you are still breathing you still have time to sober up and escape.

Many will not see the writing on the wall.

MM

Flawed

If you have the ability to procure a case of beer a day, you have the means to get to an AA meeting, rehab or any other kind of assistance you choose. Your addiction is telling you that you are unique....in fact, terminally unique as it's often called. Sobriety is a plan of action, and in order to get it you have to take action to begin that journey. You know I care about you, and every time I pick up a chip I think about you. Please, stop the ride and get off now, before it's too late.

picturebigger

it's incredible how "normal" you feel (as your life is falling apart) when you're in fact drinking your body to death. i've heard doctors say organ failures are silent but deadly syndromes. you feel nothing until it's too late. and i heard in AA of many who died, who had no symptoms until they were hospitalized when it was irreversibly too late. i guess that's where i'm at now. i feel fine physically, but my blood results have all sorts of alarm bells ringing. at 33yrs old. i guess i'm at the point i have no other... [take a swig of beer]... option but to quit. what a disgrace. addiction is powerful. worries me to death. literally, i guess...

ScottFromWI

Are you interested in quitting? Or are you still trying to decide?

BullDog777

the PAWS, i like how Scott worded it. it's not a diagnosable condition. I've "diagnosed" myself with PAWS and everything else under the sun. I was diagnosed as a "chronic" alcoholic. No doctor gave me much of a chance of staying sober at all. i had been in and out for 20+ years.

When i say this next part, i don't mean to minimize any one elses' experiences. However, in my last attempt of sobriety, i refused to read any of the PAWS stories, the pontification, the mind fu#$ing threads....it can lead one right out the door. it's like the blind leading the blind.

I did however read the stories of hope and strength. i just left the rest. the smartest thing i ever did was to stop over thinking sobriety, and approach with" Forrest Gump, fartin' in the bath tub stupidity."

The rest of it was imo just more sick thinking.

give it a try. think left, go right. think up, go down. you have to be teachable for this to work.... to learn to live in the hope part, not in the fear of the sickness.

i hope this helps.