Sometimes I don't like to count the days I'm sober
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,097
I don't actually count the days. However, I do post on Bob's thread from time to time, just to remind myself how far I've come (I have to use the sobriety calculator to figure my number). My sober birthday is very important to me as it's the day I literally stopped slowly killing myself with alcohol. I use SR as my main "program", so I want to keep working it as it's worked for nearly 7 and a half years now. For me, sobriety has become the "new normal", however there's so much fun adventure in my sobriety that I hate to call it "ordinary".
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,751
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth 
I didn't understand the statement that Dee just quoted, at all. Maybe it could be rephrased? Because I tend not to think it paints relapse in a positive light, I think it intends to accomplish the opposite, but that the message got lost in translation some how?
With all due respect to you, notsosober, my point was that we don't need to relapse to learn anything.
I strongly believe relapse is a part of my sickness, not my recovery.
That's the second time in a week I've heard that relapse can somehow be part of 'learning recovery'
Not only do I disagree but I think it's pure AV.
D
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
In my first post I did not explicitly respond to a part of the OP that I meant to because it really spoke to me:
Wanting sober to be normal.
It can be. It is, for me. I'm just a person, and I happen not to drink. I work hard at the emotional work etc to support that choice, but truthfully....it's just my life. In that light....as the BB says....I have ceased to struggle, against anything, including alcohol. Sure, I make effort to keep this true, but now....it's cool and all to celebrate milestones- and I proudly got my last chip (9 mo) and will get a year and multiples - but my immediate desire is to move right on along and go about my day. Because being sober is just what I do.
In this sense, being sober CAN be .... a big not-big deal.
Wanting sober to be normal.
It can be. It is, for me. I'm just a person, and I happen not to drink. I work hard at the emotional work etc to support that choice, but truthfully....it's just my life. In that light....as the BB says....I have ceased to struggle, against anything, including alcohol. Sure, I make effort to keep this true, but now....it's cool and all to celebrate milestones- and I proudly got my last chip (9 mo) and will get a year and multiples - but my immediate desire is to move right on along and go about my day. Because being sober is just what I do.
In this sense, being sober CAN be .... a big not-big deal.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
It reminds me of what my gay friends tell me -- why we gotta talk about sex all the time -- I dont ask you.
Why we gotta focus on booze all the time, when its exactly what we dont want to do.
I love the line someone said here -- I dont kick my dog either.
I realize all the stuff about not being complacent and all those great points, but at some point we are just us minus the booze.
I go to bars, parties with booze, hang out with friends who drink -- do everything I always did, just absent the booze and the drama. Isnt that the point?
Why we gotta focus on booze all the time, when its exactly what we dont want to do.
I love the line someone said here -- I dont kick my dog either.
I realize all the stuff about not being complacent and all those great points, but at some point we are just us minus the booze.
I go to bars, parties with booze, hang out with friends who drink -- do everything I always did, just absent the booze and the drama. Isnt that the point?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
I don't literally count the days, there are a lot of them. But they are accumulating daily and I am aware of it. Keenly aware of the months and years without a drink.
And I don't share your view about sobriety being ordinary. "Ordinary" sobriety is for those without a problem with alcohol. I'm an alcoholic, so my sobriety is not ordinary. It is an achievement. Yet, at the same time, not drinking feels normal, and again, for me, that is an achievement..
And I don't share your view about sobriety being ordinary. "Ordinary" sobriety is for those without a problem with alcohol. I'm an alcoholic, so my sobriety is not ordinary. It is an achievement. Yet, at the same time, not drinking feels normal, and again, for me, that is an achievement..
I know my DOS, but don't know how many days.
I do know the MOST important one,though:
today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
When it comes to my sobriety, I don't look past today.
But I focus on it real hard all day long everyday.
I wish I could tell the OP that getting and staying sober will be easy, but I have been on my guard now the entire time I have been sober.
I have completely changed my way of living and thinking, both of which needed changing (to put it charitably).
Stick around and the days will start piling up.
But I focus on it real hard all day long everyday.
I wish I could tell the OP that getting and staying sober will be easy, but I have been on my guard now the entire time I have been sober.
I have completely changed my way of living and thinking, both of which needed changing (to put it charitably).
Stick around and the days will start piling up.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Counting not counting--whatever works at the moment, as long as I don't drink. I had to break out my calculator to figure out that I'm at 1855 days (give or take a day or two). I'm happy to say that sobriety feels pretty "normal" to me now but I don't mind having the "edge" to my existence, knowing that I've been to the cliff and walked back is empowering to me.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by notsosober77
Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I want sobriety to be something ordinary. The norm, not an achievement.
I've been off and on drinking for so long that I genuinely lost track of the last time I was drinking and stopped. I've been relapsing but with less and less frequency and less intensity each time. When I relapse I remember then that drinking was not as pleasant as it was in my fantasy and more painful than I remembered.
Maybe I won't ever drink again this time and if I don't, I just want it to happen. I don't want to count the days since I quit, I want to forget that I ever thought it was a good idea to drink. I don't want to even have to make an effort to quit. I just want to have an aversion to alcohol, an understanding that it is poison and it hurts to drink it and of course I won't do that again.
Right now, I honestly wonder why I ever did drink and can't recall when that was.
I've been off and on drinking for so long that I genuinely lost track of the last time I was drinking and stopped. I've been relapsing but with less and less frequency and less intensity each time. When I relapse I remember then that drinking was not as pleasant as it was in my fantasy and more painful than I remembered.
Maybe I won't ever drink again this time and if I don't, I just want it to happen. I don't want to count the days since I quit, I want to forget that I ever thought it was a good idea to drink. I don't want to even have to make an effort to quit. I just want to have an aversion to alcohol, an understanding that it is poison and it hurts to drink it and of course I won't do that again.
Right now, I honestly wonder why I ever did drink and can't recall when that was.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I have no idea how many days I've been sober. I do know my sobriety date: June 27, 2014.
Sobriety is totally my "normal" now. I have a totally normal life. I just don't drink alcohol. Since I stopped I've realized how little alcohol most people actually drink. That helps me feel even more normal.
I think of my sobriety as driving a car in cruise control on an open highway. I can't take my eyes off the road but it's pretty painless as long as I'm aware.
Sobriety is totally my "normal" now. I have a totally normal life. I just don't drink alcohol. Since I stopped I've realized how little alcohol most people actually drink. That helps me feel even more normal.
I think of my sobriety as driving a car in cruise control on an open highway. I can't take my eyes off the road but it's pretty painless as long as I'm aware.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 12,910
I have gone back and forth with this in the past, but counting days/now months is accountability for me. In the past when I stopped counting. I slowly began to get complacent in my recovery. I know that in 21 days I will have a year sober. I am very excited about this milestone.
Find whatever works for you.
Find whatever works for you.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Delilah1
I have gone back and forth with this in the past, but counting days/now months is accountability for me. In the past when I stopped counting. I slowly began to get complacent in my recovery. I know that in 21 days I will have a year sober. I am very excited about this milestone.
Find whatever works for you.
Find whatever works for you.
I'm happy for you and everyone that counting helps. I do understand it is useful to some, maybe most.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
