Alcoholics on the Bipolar Spectrum
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Alcoholics on the Bipolar Spectrum
Hi Friends,
I am sober >6 months and also ~2 years before a relatively brief relapse, just to settle my recovery status.
It's been a long time since my last threads... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...0-relapse.html
This time I would like to make a call to see if I identify with Bipolar Disorder, BP I or II, NOS, or whatever, even if you just feel you fit in.
I am definitely PB II (by multiple psychs from rehab to individual therapy to my personal psychiatrist and PCP) and currently undergoing a "hypomanic" state or something alike.
I did not receive any diagnosis in my latest several assessments. Had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) mostly for insurance submissions. I was in one of the most advanced programs in the country but they still did not provide a diagnosis for my mental health other than "bipolar spectrum", "eating disorder NOS", and a big pat on the back to apparently my alcoholism.
What is your experience with Bipolar Disorder in the context of alcoholism?
Thank you!
I am sober >6 months and also ~2 years before a relatively brief relapse, just to settle my recovery status.
It's been a long time since my last threads... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...0-relapse.html
This time I would like to make a call to see if I identify with Bipolar Disorder, BP I or II, NOS, or whatever, even if you just feel you fit in.
I am definitely PB II (by multiple psychs from rehab to individual therapy to my personal psychiatrist and PCP) and currently undergoing a "hypomanic" state or something alike.
I did not receive any diagnosis in my latest several assessments. Had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) mostly for insurance submissions. I was in one of the most advanced programs in the country but they still did not provide a diagnosis for my mental health other than "bipolar spectrum", "eating disorder NOS", and a big pat on the back to apparently my alcoholism.
What is your experience with Bipolar Disorder in the context of alcoholism?
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I like a thread like this it interests me.
Myself however? i've only ever dr googled it and i'd swear i fall on the spectrum somewhere. of course I think i fall on the spectrum somewhere for a few things lol. From what I've read i can really relate to man who actually have a diagnoses and then I sometimes wonder maybe I should go get evaluated etc.. it might at the very least explain some of my issues.
That being said the only first hand expierince i have iwth someone who is bi-polar are 2 diff individuals. One guy was a bit strange and was medicated pretty heavily and learned to keep himself busy in order to i guess keep his mind in check? But he would do some crazy stuff at times IE think its no big deal to just be dropped off 50 miles form home and well who cares i'll just walk home and smile and walk away.
Another person I know is a family member. Who can be so positive at times and also decide they are going to be the next gods gift tot he finance industry. WHile on meds this person is ok i guess a bit zombie liek due to the meds. While Off meds however its a whole new ballgame just recently he decided screw meds and trashed them. Then he decided he was someone else. walked into work quit his job told them not to have contact with him. THen went home told his wife she was no longer his wife he was also someone else and there kids was his but with some other women (a supermodel) then stated he had a new finance job in NYC and proceded to pack his car to drive there to start and live in his fancy new apartment in manhatten (all this is one big fake dillusion BTW) and he wasnt worried totally positive about all of this.
Now in the above case he finally decided to check back intot he hospital and is in the mental ward getting revaluated and remedicated etc..
I dont think i'd fall on the scale anywhere near as severe as the above 2 examples. But I can relate to some who say when there postive its awesome the mania is great but when there depressed its horrific. when they describe some of the extremes that go on in there head I start to think am i Bi-polar?
One day i might get evaluated. Interesting thread no less tho. and I know some will chime in and probably tell me to promptly seek help lol. I know maybe sooner or later but I'm ok 99% of the time these days it seems like.
Myself however? i've only ever dr googled it and i'd swear i fall on the spectrum somewhere. of course I think i fall on the spectrum somewhere for a few things lol. From what I've read i can really relate to man who actually have a diagnoses and then I sometimes wonder maybe I should go get evaluated etc.. it might at the very least explain some of my issues.
That being said the only first hand expierince i have iwth someone who is bi-polar are 2 diff individuals. One guy was a bit strange and was medicated pretty heavily and learned to keep himself busy in order to i guess keep his mind in check? But he would do some crazy stuff at times IE think its no big deal to just be dropped off 50 miles form home and well who cares i'll just walk home and smile and walk away.
Another person I know is a family member. Who can be so positive at times and also decide they are going to be the next gods gift tot he finance industry. WHile on meds this person is ok i guess a bit zombie liek due to the meds. While Off meds however its a whole new ballgame just recently he decided screw meds and trashed them. Then he decided he was someone else. walked into work quit his job told them not to have contact with him. THen went home told his wife she was no longer his wife he was also someone else and there kids was his but with some other women (a supermodel) then stated he had a new finance job in NYC and proceded to pack his car to drive there to start and live in his fancy new apartment in manhatten (all this is one big fake dillusion BTW) and he wasnt worried totally positive about all of this.
Now in the above case he finally decided to check back intot he hospital and is in the mental ward getting revaluated and remedicated etc..
I dont think i'd fall on the scale anywhere near as severe as the above 2 examples. But I can relate to some who say when there postive its awesome the mania is great but when there depressed its horrific. when they describe some of the extremes that go on in there head I start to think am i Bi-polar?
One day i might get evaluated. Interesting thread no less tho. and I know some will chime in and probably tell me to promptly seek help lol. I know maybe sooner or later but I'm ok 99% of the time these days it seems like.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
and just to add in my case drinking just made EVERYTHING worse. but I've also been told its common for folks with this disorder and well many other disorders to uknowingly self medicate with booze next ya know there alcoholics etc.. *sigh*.
i can pretty much garantee in my case i self medicated for a number reasons with booze. Glad I do not anymore.
i can pretty much garantee in my case i self medicated for a number reasons with booze. Glad I do not anymore.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The first voice I heard the morning after my last relapse was that of a lovely man who suffered gravely from bipolar. It had a different name then, he was also alcoholic. He got me back into AA and probably saved my life.
His was a serious condition requiring lifetime medication. His path in sobriety was very difficult becaue he hated having to take pills and every once in a while he would stop, go manic, then drink, then padded cell and it would take the docs weeks to stableise him. But he did achieve a lasting recovery and is still sober today.
I saw him about a year ago. He is beginning to suffer kidney failure as a result of the medication, and may have to go on dialysis soon.
I have known a very small number of people in AA that suffered this illness to this degree.. It is quite rare. Two others I can think of both died sober, so recovery was possible. One chap was a bit of a legend. He went manic one night and kept a 1 hour 8.00 pm meeting running past midnight. No one was game to leave!
The thing about all three is they are fondly remembered/respected by many in the program that new them. They touched many lives and the way they handled their difficulties was a great inspiration to many of us, and made most of us appreciate how fortunate we were. It is a privilege to have known them.
His was a serious condition requiring lifetime medication. His path in sobriety was very difficult becaue he hated having to take pills and every once in a while he would stop, go manic, then drink, then padded cell and it would take the docs weeks to stableise him. But he did achieve a lasting recovery and is still sober today.
I saw him about a year ago. He is beginning to suffer kidney failure as a result of the medication, and may have to go on dialysis soon.
I have known a very small number of people in AA that suffered this illness to this degree.. It is quite rare. Two others I can think of both died sober, so recovery was possible. One chap was a bit of a legend. He went manic one night and kept a 1 hour 8.00 pm meeting running past midnight. No one was game to leave!
The thing about all three is they are fondly remembered/respected by many in the program that new them. They touched many lives and the way they handled their difficulties was a great inspiration to many of us, and made most of us appreciate how fortunate we were. It is a privilege to have known them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
gottalife the one you spoke of that dumps meds gos manic back to padded cell etc.. reminds me of my family member. Tho lucky for my family member he doesnt drink never had that issue. The other one I know also did not have a drinking issue never did.
It seems like mental illness or not its like your still predisposed to alcoholism or your not. I dont think mental illness dictates you could be an alcoholic. I almost feel like we are alcoholics but we could also be other things or a bunch of other things and an alcoholic. One thing doesnt make us another thing.
Your right too about how unique and touching thenc an be on various lives. The one guy I spoke of who would just have you drop him at some random town and he'd walk from there and some of the other odd things he did I'll never forget. he was a really nice guy and ya know oddly with him he was pretty content despite his Lot in life maybe it was the meds I dunno but he was making due.
It seems like mental illness or not its like your still predisposed to alcoholism or your not. I dont think mental illness dictates you could be an alcoholic. I almost feel like we are alcoholics but we could also be other things or a bunch of other things and an alcoholic. One thing doesnt make us another thing.
Your right too about how unique and touching thenc an be on various lives. The one guy I spoke of who would just have you drop him at some random town and he'd walk from there and some of the other odd things he did I'll never forget. he was a really nice guy and ya know oddly with him he was pretty content despite his Lot in life maybe it was the meds I dunno but he was making due.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
also my family member who has this. he gets beligerant and nasty to everyone when he goes off his meds. He will refuse help. He called the cops on his mother to have her removed from the property etc.. It makes it very hard to help someone like this. This last time we where ready to try to baker act him. Luckly at the last minute he decided to get help. Whew was a close call.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I am. Mine is rapid cycling. I was just diagnosed...I was suicidal CHRONICALLY in the past 18 months of my sobriety. It was just awful. My "mania" is more racing thoughts, anxiety, inability to sleep, paranoia etc. It is terrible.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
From what I have learned and experienced, many of us alcoholics are "dual diagnosis" - depression, BPD and bipolar, GAD....some drs consider these cases the hardest to treat; my psych is one who believes Borderline Personality, my dx two years ago, as one of the most treatable conditions because there are very specific steps and tools (DBT being the most prominent) to treat it.
After a number of years- probably 20, since an early in college pysch visit for what was some form of depression- I have had various dx, including bipolar. I was pretty much always along the "spectrum" of behaviors that bipolar and borderline disorders outline. Basic personality traits + genetics + whatever other factors = my struggles.
Put alcohol on top of that once my alcoholism was full- blown....I looked like classic BPD by age 37 and certainly acted out and demonstrated nearly all of the criteria for the dx. I kept on drinking.
As others have said, going off meds, messing with doses, drinking while taking them....all of that is ineffective at treating our problems at best and fatal at worst. I am grateful that I seem to have had 9 lives (and don't plan on needing another one a try!) and survived all I did to myself.
Take drinking out of the picture......maintain a med regimen that seems quite normal to me yet many would consider one that includes some STRONG meds, and frankly....I don't display anything BPD like beyond those basic personality traits like being creative, emotional, sometimes dramatic, reactive (I am paraphrasing BPD criteria here)....so a dx of it is pretty much moot at this point.
Not drinking has been the key for me. Anything and everything else is treatable. I take lamictal daily, seroquel for sleep, ativan as needed for anxiety, campral for cravings (I took Antabuse for the first 90 days of my now 9 mo + sobriety). This cocktail works for me. I still have ups and downs but thanks to consistent, correct use of meds and......AA.....my life is not just livable but it is great.
My mother is a classic Bipolar II case. She has struggled much more over the years with a good drug routine and as she ages (I am 40 now, she is 71) there are different challenges. I am thankful for modern medicine and drug advances (ie, Lithium was never a consideration for me like it was for her) AND, I believe more importantly, that I stopped drinking about the time she started her alcoholic drinking.
IME- and hopefully for many others- taking drinking out of the picture is the biggest chunk for minimizing or eradicating the underlying mental issues. After that, again for me, everything is figureoutable as I like to say.
After a number of years- probably 20, since an early in college pysch visit for what was some form of depression- I have had various dx, including bipolar. I was pretty much always along the "spectrum" of behaviors that bipolar and borderline disorders outline. Basic personality traits + genetics + whatever other factors = my struggles.
Put alcohol on top of that once my alcoholism was full- blown....I looked like classic BPD by age 37 and certainly acted out and demonstrated nearly all of the criteria for the dx. I kept on drinking.
As others have said, going off meds, messing with doses, drinking while taking them....all of that is ineffective at treating our problems at best and fatal at worst. I am grateful that I seem to have had 9 lives (and don't plan on needing another one a try!) and survived all I did to myself.
Take drinking out of the picture......maintain a med regimen that seems quite normal to me yet many would consider one that includes some STRONG meds, and frankly....I don't display anything BPD like beyond those basic personality traits like being creative, emotional, sometimes dramatic, reactive (I am paraphrasing BPD criteria here)....so a dx of it is pretty much moot at this point.
Not drinking has been the key for me. Anything and everything else is treatable. I take lamictal daily, seroquel for sleep, ativan as needed for anxiety, campral for cravings (I took Antabuse for the first 90 days of my now 9 mo + sobriety). This cocktail works for me. I still have ups and downs but thanks to consistent, correct use of meds and......AA.....my life is not just livable but it is great.
My mother is a classic Bipolar II case. She has struggled much more over the years with a good drug routine and as she ages (I am 40 now, she is 71) there are different challenges. I am thankful for modern medicine and drug advances (ie, Lithium was never a consideration for me like it was for her) AND, I believe more importantly, that I stopped drinking about the time she started her alcoholic drinking.
IME- and hopefully for many others- taking drinking out of the picture is the biggest chunk for minimizing or eradicating the underlying mental issues. After that, again for me, everything is figureoutable as I like to say.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
not drinking seems to soften the edges of these types of ilnesses. not drinking also seems to flatten or soften the peaks and valleys of life out a bit as well. In time i've noticed not drinking and a healthy diet ease a lot of my issues.
maybe someone ore informed can shed some light but it seems like its not to hard to be diagnosed as bi-polar? IE even some mild form of it can still get you a diagnoses?
maybe someone ore informed can shed some light but it seems like its not to hard to be diagnosed as bi-polar? IE even some mild form of it can still get you a diagnoses?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by zjw 
maybe someone ore informed can shed some light but it seems like its not to hard to be diagnosed as bi-polar? IE even some mild form of it can still get you a diagnoses?
I have been to quite a few where one thought I had mild schizophrenia and depression, then I later went to another that said that was BS and I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder with mid range depression.
Either way there is a strong link between mental health issues and alcoholism. I was reading a study that somewhere near 50% of those with bipolar, anxiety, depression or schizophrenia also have drug/alcohol abuse issues.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm bipolar II. Before I was diagnosed I was a mess of "hot hot blazes come down to smoke and ash," as Joni Mitchell would say. I was passionately interested and head-over-heels committed to a thousand different projects and people during my illness--all interspersed with devastating depression and shame. I felt like I was a very rare person: truly, perhaps one in ten million, specially favored by God. I thought of myself as utterly fascinating, and it came as a horrible shock to realize that I was an utter fool!
I was diagnosed and medicated in 1998, and the tweaking of the meds was perfected in 2007.
When my drama queen hypomania went away, so did my bravado. I was mortified at the spectacle I had made of myself--and leaving town wasn't an option.
Plus, without my hypomania I was bored. Nothing interested me. I was housebound, and I was bored and cynical--so I drank.
All I had known when I was ill was self-absorption; when the illness disappeared, that self-absorption was the only thing I had to hang onto! So I began drinking in earnest to entertain myself. The big "ME!" had been larger than life, and now it was pulled out from under my feet. I filled the void with booze.
I slept most of the day!
Eventually I learned that even a regular me had a purpose, and I decided to put alcohol aside and venture out into normal life.
SR--the interactions, people, wisdom, and humor here--gave me an anchor to hold onto while I learned to operate properly.
I was diagnosed and medicated in 1998, and the tweaking of the meds was perfected in 2007.
When my drama queen hypomania went away, so did my bravado. I was mortified at the spectacle I had made of myself--and leaving town wasn't an option.
Plus, without my hypomania I was bored. Nothing interested me. I was housebound, and I was bored and cynical--so I drank.
All I had known when I was ill was self-absorption; when the illness disappeared, that self-absorption was the only thing I had to hang onto! So I began drinking in earnest to entertain myself. The big "ME!" had been larger than life, and now it was pulled out from under my feet. I filled the void with booze.
I slept most of the day!
Eventually I learned that even a regular me had a purpose, and I decided to put alcohol aside and venture out into normal life.
SR--the interactions, people, wisdom, and humor here--gave me an anchor to hold onto while I learned to operate properly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Bunny211
I am. Mine is rapid cycling. I was just diagnosed...I was suicidal CHRONICALLY in the past 18 months of my sobriety. It was just awful. My "mania" is more racing thoughts, anxiety, inability to sleep, paranoia etc. It is terrible.
I've gotten an official/unofficial diagnosis on these.
My addiction counselor wants me to be properly assessed now that I ever got some good sobriety under my belt but apparently mental health here is going away from labeling mental disorders.
I am highly medicated right now and it's what I need to be stable and functional. I can't do ssri's- that is a straight up trip to the er for me. I am suicide city. I am on different combination now of antidepressants and stabilizers and anti anxiety meds which tend to push me more into a hypomanic phase than I've ever experienced in my life. Prior to drinking, from a young age on I dealt with chronic suicidality and BPD and deep depressive states.
I might be on meds for life. I'm ok with that if it keeps me alive and somewhat stable.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,382
I've often thought I had a very mild form of this, undiagnosed of course. Definitely had a few manic periods and periods of being badly depressed. Never cottoned much to psychiatrists and psychologists though, I avoid them as a rule.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hey guys.
I just wanted to drop my 2 cents on diagnoses.
If it is affordable (insurance should cover it I have been told) go for a complete round of testing with a neuro-psychologist.
Because as I was so, so textbook with a learning disorder and symptoms- even having a neurological disorder that often goes hand in hand with said LD- I turned out not to have it! I had so, so many symptoms and still do- but it turned out to be old garden variety anxiety and depression due to stresses. Ok anxiety on my personal epic scale... but still.
I just wanted to drop my 2 cents on diagnoses.
If it is affordable (insurance should cover it I have been told) go for a complete round of testing with a neuro-psychologist.
Because as I was so, so textbook with a learning disorder and symptoms- even having a neurological disorder that often goes hand in hand with said LD- I turned out not to have it! I had so, so many symptoms and still do- but it turned out to be old garden variety anxiety and depression due to stresses. Ok anxiety on my personal epic scale... but still.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hello everyone,
Thanks for all the interesting and informative responses and shares. I perfectly agree with those of you who suggest that the psychiatric diagnoses can be rather obscure and subjective, and certainly can be highly unreliable when trying to diagnose someone who is actively drinking or using drugs. I work in the mental health field myself (mostly research but part of it is clinically oriented) so am reasonably familiar with these things. I also have access to superb mental health care living in a city where there is a myriad of providers, diagnostic technologies and treatment types available; I can use my professional and personal connections to find the best options. I have already been doing that over the past almost 3 years since I first got sober and I think it's been insightful and helpful. As far as diagnosis goes, I believe what I've gotten over time is probably as good as it gets... and I agree with them myself. I think it's worth having the assessments even if someone is not a big fan of pathologizing - it can provide specific elements to work with. I had these assessments done in pretty sophisticated ways using a combination of psychiatric and neurological evaluations, genetic testing, brain imaging. I've actually really enjoyed having these things done and interpreting them with the doctors and researchers (some I had access to via participating in research studies as a subject). Anyhow, I don't think that my assessments could get any better at this time.
As far as symptoms and severity, when I am sober, mine are actually rather mild compared with classic cases and also with some of the descriptions you guys (zjw and Gottalife) have provided about people you knew. I've definitely had the same experience many of you share, that active drinking makes these conditions much worse and more complicated, and both the acute and chronic effects of alcohol can mimic a variety of psychiatric symptoms. Some of you mentioned PBD - now that's an example I could partially identify with when I was drinking heavily, the elements about erratic behavior, the self concept and fears around relationships not at all. And when I am sober, I don't tend to have any of those symptoms. Another good example is disordered thought processes: when I was drinking large amounts of alcohol, it sometimes put me in states that were more than just quazi psychotic. I also experienced a few episodes of quite messy mental states during a few months after getting sober for the first time but those completely went away it seems and I never experienced similar even during/after my 2-month relapse. So that's good.
What seems to remain now is these occasional hypomanic states. This is actually what I mostly experience sober, depression not often and definitely not in a severe form. I had a very severe depressive episode once in the year before I first got sober and I imagine that was exacerbated by drinking heavily through it and not seeking any form of help. Where I do experience the fluctuations quite a bit is my motivational states: for work, other interests, relationships, pretty much most things in life. This is also something that has been present throughout my life and when I was younger, it was a mystery to me. So even just for being able to understand the fluctuating motivation curve, getting into the evaluations has been quite helpful.
Something else relevant to the ladies: I also find that PMS quite strongly associates with these hypomanic states for me. Not each time I have PMS but they almost always coincide. I am just about to get on hormonal birth control, the kind that eliminates a lot of the monthly cycles. I used that in the past and I thought it was helpful to also regulate my moods.
As for other medications, I don't want to get into the details because as we know this forum is not for discussing medical treatments; will just say that if I want to find a regimen that is effective in the longer run, that remains to be explored further as what I have tried so far never really worked beyond a couple months and I've had side effects I was not willing to tolerate (more unpleasant than the basic symptoms of whatever disorder I have). Currently psych med-free and might explore this further sometime. I also need to mention that both lineages of my family are packed with mental illness, so it's no surprise I carry predispositions. A few of my relatives did/do not have a happy life when unmedicated, to say the least.
The good thing is that symptoms or not, I don't feel at risk of picking up the drink or drugs now. Both times when I quit drinking, I struggled with intense cravings for quite a while but they tend to dissipate with time and thankfully I don't really have thoughts of drinking now beyond fleeting moments.
As for addiction recovery approaches, I actually find these days that having access to the ones that I like is good but it's better for me if I use them moderately and do not obsess with my recovery, or just recovery in general - if I do, it can trigger anxiety and obsessiveness for me and becomes counterproductive. I get more out of activities in my life that are constructive and enjoyable than doing things for addiction recovery very specifically. Of course these are often intertwined.
Okay I think I've probably more or less summarized everything that is relevant to the topic of this thread now from my own experience. I feel that I manage these things pretty well now, just wanted to raise the question to hear stories on here.
Thanks for the input again!
Thanks for all the interesting and informative responses and shares. I perfectly agree with those of you who suggest that the psychiatric diagnoses can be rather obscure and subjective, and certainly can be highly unreliable when trying to diagnose someone who is actively drinking or using drugs. I work in the mental health field myself (mostly research but part of it is clinically oriented) so am reasonably familiar with these things. I also have access to superb mental health care living in a city where there is a myriad of providers, diagnostic technologies and treatment types available; I can use my professional and personal connections to find the best options. I have already been doing that over the past almost 3 years since I first got sober and I think it's been insightful and helpful. As far as diagnosis goes, I believe what I've gotten over time is probably as good as it gets... and I agree with them myself. I think it's worth having the assessments even if someone is not a big fan of pathologizing - it can provide specific elements to work with. I had these assessments done in pretty sophisticated ways using a combination of psychiatric and neurological evaluations, genetic testing, brain imaging. I've actually really enjoyed having these things done and interpreting them with the doctors and researchers (some I had access to via participating in research studies as a subject). Anyhow, I don't think that my assessments could get any better at this time.
As far as symptoms and severity, when I am sober, mine are actually rather mild compared with classic cases and also with some of the descriptions you guys (zjw and Gottalife) have provided about people you knew. I've definitely had the same experience many of you share, that active drinking makes these conditions much worse and more complicated, and both the acute and chronic effects of alcohol can mimic a variety of psychiatric symptoms. Some of you mentioned PBD - now that's an example I could partially identify with when I was drinking heavily, the elements about erratic behavior, the self concept and fears around relationships not at all. And when I am sober, I don't tend to have any of those symptoms. Another good example is disordered thought processes: when I was drinking large amounts of alcohol, it sometimes put me in states that were more than just quazi psychotic. I also experienced a few episodes of quite messy mental states during a few months after getting sober for the first time but those completely went away it seems and I never experienced similar even during/after my 2-month relapse. So that's good.
What seems to remain now is these occasional hypomanic states. This is actually what I mostly experience sober, depression not often and definitely not in a severe form. I had a very severe depressive episode once in the year before I first got sober and I imagine that was exacerbated by drinking heavily through it and not seeking any form of help. Where I do experience the fluctuations quite a bit is my motivational states: for work, other interests, relationships, pretty much most things in life. This is also something that has been present throughout my life and when I was younger, it was a mystery to me. So even just for being able to understand the fluctuating motivation curve, getting into the evaluations has been quite helpful.
Something else relevant to the ladies: I also find that PMS quite strongly associates with these hypomanic states for me. Not each time I have PMS but they almost always coincide. I am just about to get on hormonal birth control, the kind that eliminates a lot of the monthly cycles. I used that in the past and I thought it was helpful to also regulate my moods.
As for other medications, I don't want to get into the details because as we know this forum is not for discussing medical treatments; will just say that if I want to find a regimen that is effective in the longer run, that remains to be explored further as what I have tried so far never really worked beyond a couple months and I've had side effects I was not willing to tolerate (more unpleasant than the basic symptoms of whatever disorder I have). Currently psych med-free and might explore this further sometime. I also need to mention that both lineages of my family are packed with mental illness, so it's no surprise I carry predispositions. A few of my relatives did/do not have a happy life when unmedicated, to say the least.
The good thing is that symptoms or not, I don't feel at risk of picking up the drink or drugs now. Both times when I quit drinking, I struggled with intense cravings for quite a while but they tend to dissipate with time and thankfully I don't really have thoughts of drinking now beyond fleeting moments.
As for addiction recovery approaches, I actually find these days that having access to the ones that I like is good but it's better for me if I use them moderately and do not obsess with my recovery, or just recovery in general - if I do, it can trigger anxiety and obsessiveness for me and becomes counterproductive. I get more out of activities in my life that are constructive and enjoyable than doing things for addiction recovery very specifically. Of course these are often intertwined.
Okay I think I've probably more or less summarized everything that is relevant to the topic of this thread now from my own experience. I feel that I manage these things pretty well now, just wanted to raise the question to hear stories on here.
Thanks for the input again!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I sponsor someone who is bipolar and it's painful to see the terrible depression she endures. She's sober 39 years despite it. What I know is a huge number of alcoholics also suffer from other mental illnesses.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I read on another message board (a mental health forum) a few days ago a thread where the discussion topic was how people feel about being diagnosed with mental illness, whether they find it helpful, neutral, or perhaps harmful. The comments on this were also all over the spectrum 
of how people feel around mental health diagnoses associated with them. Well, "alcohol use disorder" is also one and I think we can read here on SR and hear in meetings that some are adamantly against labels of any kind. As I said in my last post here, I personally find these things helpful, I don't have much emotional reaction to the "labels" other than it's useful for me to know what I am dealing with, even if the description does not fit 100%. In other words, I know what I can address and educate myself about. Of course, as it was mentioned in a few posts above, the diagnoses can also be erroneous, people get mistreated etc. It's certainly not an easy area.
Something else that helps me personally a lot in terms of handling something like what experience (which is not very severe) is the awareness. I am far less prone to being carried away and controlled by the symptoms if I know what's happening, all of it is much more manageable. This was even true when I experienced very severe depression in the past. I did absolutely nothing about it until I realized fully what was going on, but then simply knowing gave me a good boost of motivation what to actually target.
of how people feel around mental health diagnoses associated with them. Well, "alcohol use disorder" is also one and I think we can read here on SR and hear in meetings that some are adamantly against labels of any kind. As I said in my last post here, I personally find these things helpful, I don't have much emotional reaction to the "labels" other than it's useful for me to know what I am dealing with, even if the description does not fit 100%. In other words, I know what I can address and educate myself about. Of course, as it was mentioned in a few posts above, the diagnoses can also be erroneous, people get mistreated etc. It's certainly not an easy area. Something else that helps me personally a lot in terms of handling something like what experience (which is not very severe) is the awareness. I am far less prone to being carried away and controlled by the symptoms if I know what's happening, all of it is much more manageable. This was even true when I experienced very severe depression in the past. I did absolutely nothing about it until I realized fully what was going on, but then simply knowing gave me a good boost of motivation what to actually target.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
