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-   -   To thine own self be true? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/401231-thine-own-self-true.html)

steve-in-kville 12-01-2016 04:03 PM

To thine own self be true?
 
Famous quote from Shakespeare I think. Off the top of your head, what does this mean to you as an addict?

Discuss.

BrendaChenowyth 12-01-2016 05:39 PM

I have thoughts on this, because of course I do. I'm taking this question to work with me tomorrow, to write a response whilst I sit with this new client of mine - 91, bed bound and DNR. This will give me something positive and productive to do to keep my spirits up. See you on the flip side!

Fly N Buy 12-01-2016 05:56 PM

Hamlet , yes. If I can be truthful to myself then and quite naturally ( as night follows day) I can look my fellow man in the eye with love, tolerance and truth.

I am awake living as a mature adult and not simply older.

zjw 12-01-2016 06:02 PM

I dunno to me its kinda like this. I can lie to you. I can BS someone else. I can lie to myself and BS myself too. I can fool the world but at the end of the day the reality at least is i should at the very least be straight with myself. Not lie to myself. not BS myself. Not fool myself. etc..

Almost like yeah you might think you got away with soemthing but the reality is at the end of the day you know the truth dont you? you know what you did dont you? Do you really wanna carry that lie around? do you really wanna hang on to that and the guilt and so on that blooms from it? nah its easier to be true to yourself etc..


So for me in a nutshel its liek Dont BS myself.

THo in turn by not BSing myself with any luck i'm not BSing anyone else either.

zjw 12-01-2016 06:04 PM

Now the flip side is as an alcholic i know how easy it is to justify that next drink and BS myself into why its ok.

shortstop81 12-01-2016 06:38 PM

For me, it means that I need to start living my own truth. I know that my true self does not lie, keep secrets, or act like a self-destructive jackass. In recovery I aim to step a little bit closer every day to the person that I know I've always been, deep inside.

See my quote below.

silentrun 12-01-2016 07:18 PM

To me it's more along the lines of :don't pretend to be something you're not to make someone else happy. You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself.

steve-in-kville 12-02-2016 01:39 AM

Reason I ask, I often here this phrase thrown out like its supposed to solve all of life's problems or something. I'm no literary scholar!

Gottalife 12-02-2016 01:48 AM

You can't cheat the man in the glass.

Timebuster 12-02-2016 01:52 AM

For me it means. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

A phrase one can say meaning people should not criticize others for faults that they have themselves

TB

Fusion 12-02-2016 02:57 AM

For me, it means listening to and following my conscience and intuition, my authentic voice - my 'true self'. If I'm not true to myself, instead I'd be putting on an act (please others, conform, comply or strive to achieve something) by doing actions or omitting actions in such a way that it goes against my true self and I feel duplicitous. It's an uncomfortable and unsettling feeling, when I'm not acting in accordance with my true self.

When I drank, that true self was screaming at me to stop, but I ignored it. When I first drank as a teenager, my true self disliked the taste, the giddy effect and socialising in wine-bars. But instead, I ignored my true self and continued socialising and drinking, to fit in with others. Everyone drank and if you didn't, you weren't part of the 'in crowd'; and I didn't want to be a social outcast; despite preferring evenings reading a book.

This acting against my true self continued into my career. It was male dominated and they gathered at a bar at close of business. Those who didn't join were never promoted. Yet again, acting against my true self, I joined in, whilst hating every second (my inner conscience screaming at me to go home) but I overrode it, as I wanted promotion.

If I'd listened to and acted in accordance with my true self, it's more than likely that I wouldn't have drank so much that I eventually became addicted.

In its context, Polonius was providing his son with final words of advice, as he left for Paris. The final sentence of his advice:

This above all:
To thine own self be true,
And as the night follows the day,
Thou cans't not be false to any man.

So, for me, if I follow my conscience and intuition, then it follows that I'm not putting on an outward act and therefore cannot be false to others.

BrendaChenowyth 12-02-2016 02:00 PM

Maybe I'm reading too much in to the expression.. To me, being "true" to myself means integrity. That means I respect myself first, and always do the right thing.

I am a bit tired at the moment after a long day of dealing with my client's grown son who is obviously inching towards the edge of a breakdown. Just my assessment. He never stopped talking and he went on and on about some rather inappropriate and disturbing things. I wish I could take care of his mother and it makes me sad that she can't keep a decent caregiver because her son's a maniac, and I know he can't help it, I think deep down he's a decent guy.. I have to watch out for and take care of myself first. Why? So I don't spiral and relapse! I am smoking again as it is! But being true to me means I can't stay in a situation that isn't right for me.

Rob32u 12-02-2016 05:45 PM

For what it's worth, Shakespeare did not intend this statement to be good advice. He put it in the mouth of the character Polonious, who was clearly a fool. He intended it to be understood as a self evidently stupid remark. This is pretty much agreed upon by Shakespeare scholars. Modern people for some reason miss the point and quote it like it's scripture or something.

http://bigthink.com/the-proverbial-s...be-true-really

PhoenixJ 12-02-2016 05:53 PM

know thyself

Fusion 12-03-2016 05:01 AM


Originally Posted by Rob32u (Post 6229462)
For what it's worth, Shakespeare did not intend this statement to be good advice. He put it in the mouth of the character Polonious, who was clearly a fool. He intended it to be understood as a self evidently stupid remark. This is pretty much agreed upon by Shakespeare scholars. Modern people for some reason miss the point and quote it like it's scripture or something.

Is "To Thine Own Self Be True" Actually Good Advice? | Big Think

No, my education (many years ago) was that Shakespeare loved irony; it was a theme that ran throughout many of his works. In Hamlet, the character of Polonius (the 'fool') acted fact opposite of the advice he gave to his son. Therein lies the irony.

EndGameNYC 12-03-2016 10:58 AM


Originally Posted by Rob32u (Post 6229462)
For what it's worth, Shakespeare did not intend this statement to be good advice. He put it in the mouth of the character Polonious, who was clearly a fool. He intended it to be understood as a self evidently stupid remark. This is pretty much agreed upon by Shakespeare scholars. Modern people for some reason miss the point and quote it like it's scripture or something.

Is "To Thine Own Self Be True" Actually Good Advice? | Big Think

Yes. We always need to pay special attention to who is saying what with Shakespeare. We need to consider the source. The message never stands on its own, is never a statement of fact alone. The messenger is the one who makes the message ironic, funny, absurd, or just plain stupid. Context is everything.

Polonius is, indeed, a fool, but this doesn't deter him from presenting profound messages about living life well, as though he's done or is in the process of doing that very thing. If the same words were said by someone like Socrates, then we could loosely interpret them to mean something that Socrates actually said, without intended humor or irony, such as "The unexamined life is not worth living." A very different meaning than what is proposed by Polonius just because it comes from Polonius. The line can also be interpreted as wise counsel coming from a very unlikely source -- "out of the mouths of fools." There is also a suggestion that the line is about taking care of your better interests first and foremost -- being "true" to yourself ("loyal" to your self-/selfish interests, e.g.) -- rather than be distracted or misguided by some ethereal "greater good" (such as might be conjured by conscience) which condones selfish, and frequently destructive behavior.

The major obstacle to "being true to yourself" or "being yourself" is our readiness to assume who and what we think we are or believe we are without giving it much thought. We are always in the process of becoming, and what we are doing in our lives at any given moment is part of that process. Fantasy and delusion about who and what we are only makes the process that much more absurd. The more meaningful question is, I think, "Who and what am I when I'm being/becoming myself?"

tomsteve 12-03-2016 11:38 AM

my eyes may sparkle
and my teeth may glitter
but I cant bull***t
an old bull***tter

entropy1964 12-03-2016 12:01 PM

"Few people realize that sobriety is an action of insights and skills far beyond mere abstinence. Sobriety is a creative discipline in the art of freedom of growth, and of love. To know yourself is to become yourself" David Stewart

BrendaChenowyth 12-03-2016 01:30 PM


Originally Posted by Rob32u (Post 6229462)
For what it's worth, Shakespeare did not intend this statement to be good advice. He put it in the mouth of the character Polonious, who was clearly a fool. He intended it to be understood as a self evidently stupid remark. This is pretty much agreed upon by Shakespeare scholars. Modern people for some reason miss the point and quote it like it's scripture or something.

Is "To Thine Own Self Be True" Actually Good Advice? | Big Think

I find these sorts of disillusioning statements generally unnecessary, but especially when it comes to anything that actually helps people bolster their own integrity.... I mean, on a shallow note, but still not for nothin, I told my mom that they plant some of the items they find in lockers on Storage Wars, and she was bummed, I had kind of ruined some of the enjoyment of one of her guilty pleasures.

EndGameNYC 12-03-2016 02:17 PM


Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth (Post 6230502)
I find these sorts of disillusioning statements generally unnecessary, but especially when it comes to anything that actually helps people bolster their own integrity.... I mean, on a shallow note, but still not for nothin, I told my mom that they plant some of the items they find in lockers on Storage Wars, and she was bummed, I had kind of ruined some of the enjoyment of one of her guilty pleasures.

There's a big difference here. Words only have meaning insofar as what meaning we give them. Like it or not, once you know that items were planted on Storage Wars, you can't unknow it. Two very different things.

There is no evidence in his writing that Shakespeare intended to convey the idea that being true to oneself is a bad thing. The word 'true' meant something very different at that time than it did hundreds of years later. More like in archery, when your aim is "true." Doesn't mean honest or faithful, more like on the mark, or an aim that is "right." The characters are fictional, and are meant to bring to life the reality that everything in life is not as it seems to be. Though I'd still be careful about taking in unsolicited counsel from foolish people.


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