SoberKarl44

In August, 2 weeks shy of my 1 year anniversary of sobriety, I relapsed.

There was no particular reason why... I just decided, for whatever insane reason, I was no longer powerless over alcohol. I'm sure it had to do with I stopped going to a lot of meetings, didn't have a sponsor, etc...

Ever since that relapse I haven't been able to get more than maybe a week of sobriety before I start up again... mainly because I still feel guilty, terrible and mad for my relapse in August... I still can't believe I did just 2 weeks short of a year...

I have a sponsor who I've been honest with, he's working with me best he can...

Any tips from those who've relapsed after a long stretch of sobriety and now is once again sober? I was thinking of doing a 90 in 90, at least as close to that as my schedule permits... but besides that, what else worked for you?

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR SoberKarl. Sorry to hear you have started drinking again, but i'm glad you've come here seeing help. That tells me that there's a sober you inside that wants to be back in charge again.

I think you are doing a lot of the right things - getting back in touch with your sponsor is a great idea. Ramping up meetings is a good idea too. You pretty much hit the nail on the head when you suggest that it happened because you quit going to meetings, didn't have a sponsor, etc. Whatever recovery method you choose, your success is directly related to the amount of effort you put into it.

Your resentments about your relapse are probably holding you back too, that's another good observation. Forgiving yourself would be a good start to get past that. You are human and you are an addict, and none of us are perfect. Yes, it was after a very long period of sobriety but that doesn't change the fact that you had almost a year sober. Give yourself some credit for that and remind yourself that you already know what to do...you just have to do it right?

knowthetriggers

I don't post here as I am not an alcoholic but my husband is; however I do read here often just to get a better understanding of what an alcoholic may be thinking.... I needed to read this today SoberKarl because as we speak my AH is lying in a hospital starting detox for the 2nd time this year. It baffled me that he was doing so well just a few weeks ago, he was on top of the world and one small incident happened and he ended up suspended from work and then terminated a week later. The last 4 weeks have been complete chaos at home but what Scott said is so true.

My AH came out of detox and the hospital after 3 weeks, no rehab but he did go to a therapist twice, obviously without a program this was bound to happen as it does time and again.

So stay strong my friend and good for you for reaching out. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

KTT

Grungehead

As someone who attended AA and relapsed 2 different times after multiple years of sobriety I can only share my experience.

I stayed sober for over 6 years but never worked the steps and relapsed (for 1 year). I got sober again for 7 years but never worked the steps and relapsed again (this time for 8 years). Meetings didn't keep me sober. Sponsors didn't keep me sober. My HP keeps me sober. I finally worked the steps with the help of a sponsor, and a good place to find a sponsor is at meetings. Meetings and sponsors are important, but as a conduit to my HP, who I connected to through working the steps.

So my tip is to work the steps, ASAP.

aasharon90

Its amazing how much good stuff one hears
in meetings, whether it be face to face or even
here in our SR community. Good suggestions,
good quotes often shared time and time again
as a good reminder in helping us remain sober
a day at a time.

It took awhile before all that I heard to make
a bit of sense but am glad I kept my ears open
and kept applying them to areas of my own
recovery life.

They shared that once we become sober
and have had some time there, it normally
messes up our drinking careers. So when
ever I went to a meeting and heard some
go out to test the drinking waters to return
only to let me know that it hasn't changed
any, then in knowing that, I remain sober
and stay on track doing all that I can do to
remain sober incorporating all that was
taught to me and incorporated them in
all areas of my life.

You should have some stored knowledge
of addiction and recovery now from the time
you had sober, so all is not lost.

Brush yourself off and use what you know
and add to it to help you begin building a
strong solid recovery/sobriety to live ur
life upon one day at a time and become
responsible ans successful in all areas of
your life.

Even with 26 yrs sobriety, I still have
my AA lifeline connections support
so that I am never without it. Yes, I
still need it because there are still some
new lessons I'm willing to learn to
strengthen my own sobriety to remain
healthy, happy and honest.

We are a strong recovery community
here in SR that can help you as well
as recovery meetings in ur area and
folks that have paved the path for us
to follow that are always willing to help
by guiding you/me/us with sharing their own
or our own ESH - experiences, strengths and
hopes of what their/our lives were and are
like before, during and after alcohol
or drugs to help us and you to achieve
a healthy happy life for yrs down the road.

Dee74

Welcome Karl

what can I say - this alcoholism deal is relentless.

I try to remember that no matter what crazy thoughts I might think, any idea that I could drink again and not have the same old things happen is a total fantasy.

I think you need to forgive yourself now, take a deep breath and go back to AA, not just talking about and not just talking to your sponsor but really go back. Maybe do the Steps even..(or do them again if you've done them before).

you can use this relapse to make your recovery even stronger and more resilient

D

BrendaChenowyth

Have you tried using The Secret, aka the Law of Attraction? I have been like a broken record about this lately, but it works for everything. Research how it works, and ways you can apply it. That's part of the path, you have to go seek out what it is for yourself in order to understand it.

Gottalife

Question about 90 in 90. "How many meetings does it take to have a complete psychic change sufficient to recover from alcoholism?" It's a trick question, no amount of meetings will do this.

Question: "How many steps must I take to have a complete psychic change sufficient to recover from alcoholism" Answer, 12.

Newcomer asks sponsor:" When should I take these steps?"

Sponsor replies:" When do you want to recover? If you want to recover now, we'll take the steps now. If you want to recover later, we can put off the steps, but you'll probably drink."

Delilah1

Welcome Karl,

I'm glad you found us here SR is a wonderful and supportive community. I have 11 months sober today, but if you look at my join date it is March of 2012. I had stretches of sobriety, and stretches of failed attempts of moderation from 2012-2015. I finally decided enough and have not had a sip of alcohol durin 2016.

Complacency was also what led me to start drinking again. I stopped posting here, stopped journaling, stopped using the tools I had stored in my recovery toolbox. I convinced myself I could just have one, then it was a few, and then I was right back to where I started.

This community is the biggest part of my sobriety. Two great threads are the 24 hour check in, and the monthly classes. Dee just started a December of 2016 class, pop in there and introduce yourself, you will. Wet others starting out or starting again, and it helps. Sounds like AA was a good support for you as well, and reconnecting with your sponsor sounds like a great step.

Glad you are here!

Mountainmanbob

I understand for (twice) just a couple of weeks short of being 3 years sober I relapsed. I deceived myself into thinking that all would be good with me drinking again but, didn't take long to realize that I was back in the rut.

I was once again in trouble with ones regarding my drinking and I made a (firm decision) to stay sober and in time One Day At A Time to get that 3 year token. I now have 9 years and life could not be better for a drunk such as myself.

90 in 90 is a good idea.
I spent a good amount of time with my Sponsor working from the Big Book.
I hit 4 or 5 meetings a week for the first few months.
Now attend 1 to 3 a week -- along with church attendance.

You can do it as many have -- be one.

M-Bob

SoberKarl44

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions, I really do appreciate it.

What's funny is, I was on here a few years ago as I struggled with my sobriety under a different alias (I can't even remember what it was). I mostly lurked but I did post a few things. So this isn't my first time at SR... but my first time here with that much sobriety behind me.

Anyways, I'm meeting with my sponsor this Sunday. I'm going back to my "home group" meeting this Saturday morning after being a way for a while, and am definitely working all the steps this time. I often thought of doing service work during my 50 weeks of sobriety but avoided it; not this time.

Thanks again. I'll keep you all posted and will definitely take all your advice... I particularly liked ScottFromWI words: "Whatever recovery method you choose, your success is directly related to the amount of effort you put into it. " So, so true....