Before Stopping For Good -- I Needed To ????
 

Before Stopping For Good -- I Needed To ????

Come to the conclusion that yes,
I truly was, "Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired."

Realize with no reservations that
if I was going to have a normal life
and live a while longer
and not separate myself from family and friends
I would need to (forever), "Keep The Plug In The Jug."

Tell myself and make a firm decision that
I would never drink again
and right after God this would always be my #1 priority.

Stay grateful
for I had been sober many times before
but, in time took it all for granted
forgetting what a blessing it is for a drunk such as myself to be sober.

Your thoughts ?

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

Excellent.

I needed willingness. And to get willingness I needed to be totally broken. I was out of options. For me, it was stop drinking....or die. I chose to live.

It took me 7 years (when I first admitted to myself I had a problem) to get 18 months of sobriety. It's a gift from God and I am humbled and grateful.

Hi Bunny
I share here often regarding the original 6 Steps
Step 1 -- Complete Deflation.
Oh - yes, I (we) relate to that.

Have a blessed day,
Bob

Agree with Bunny. I also needed to be totally broken. Some people have to lose everything before they can be willing. Other people just have to lose the right thing to be totally broken. I was the latter.

I wasn't broken, but I was badly bent. I thought the hangovers would kill me, but they actually saved me. Chalk up another one for being sick and tired of being sick and tired. If not for hangovers I'd probably be drunk or dead right now.

I had to decide that I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. :)

Before Stopping For Good -- I Needed To ????
 

Accept the fact that my drinking was harming other people:
mainly my wife and kids.

Up until that point I didn't see the harm that it was doing to me.
Thought it wasn't a problem, you see.

Rationalization and denial have accompanied many alcoholics and other addicts to the grave.

I honestly can't say what exactly it was that happened the day I decided to quit, I just knew it needed to happen. It was a culmination of several of the things already listed here ( denial, selfishness, health issues, etc ).

That's one of the things I continue to struggle with when trying to help others find a way to do it. I wish I could tell them why that one day was the day for me but I cannot...I just knew it had to end right there and then. I didn't have any sort of epiphany or vision either, I just knew it was the day to quit for good.

I needed to believe that it was possible. For whatever reason, I thought that a sober alcoholic was just always on the verge of relapse, that nobody ever truly got sober. It's how it's often (always?) portrayed in movies or novels. Alcoholics relapse, period.

I thought it would lead to a dull life, full of constant fear, at best. A futile attempt at "normalcy". I had seen my father die of liver failure, relapses don't get more definitive than that.

Once I found evidence (which is a long story) that this view is wrong, that it is possible, that you can be happy and comfortable in sobriety, I went for it with total dedication.

Before Stopping For Good -- I Needed To ????

Realize and admit that every time that I started drinking again in time I would end up back in the court system. For one reason or another I would find myself before yet another judge and wonder to myself -- what the heck is going on -- I thought it was going to be different this time.

M-Bob

That was pretty much me. To get through my pickled brain, I couldn't stop for good until it was clear that there really were no other options, it was quit or lose everything and die. In hindsight, it would have saved me a lot of grief and consequences if I had seen that coming long before, but addict denial made it impossible for me to see and understand until I was living it.

Yes, I do think about that from time to time.
Not in a bad way for I'm just so very grateful now that the long enduring fight (battle) is over.
I'm also grateful that for today I'm not grieving the ones around me.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
M-Bob

Before stopping for good, I needed to believe in myself. I needed to understand I deserved a life without addiction.

Before stopping for good I needed to stop putting full trust in the one I see in the mirror. For I finally realized that he was the one who had deceived me the most.

I still after 9 years keep a constant eye on him.

M-Bob

I needed to hit the point where I didn't recognize myself, and realized I was completely lost. I wasn't living the life I was born to live.

I needed something to come along and to break the cycle of my addiction, something that nobody within my circle of enablers could do.

I needed to turn my life over to a Higher Power.

I needed to let go of the fear of facing my past. I finally did it.

All of these things had to happen before I ever stood a chance of recovering.

I needed 100% acceptance of the fact that drinking would destroy my life and that one drink would be enough to begin the descent into that hell again.

.................... follow up with my promise.

I had promised countless times to quit.

This time I honored my promise to God.

Absolutely! So true for me as well.

To actually listen to the person who told me it was quit, or die. I'd heard that before, but that February day when I got the sh*t talking to of my life, God was in the doing and my hearing.

And I quit. Honestly, it was as simple as just being done.

Unfortunately for me, it was a very serious injury. Some of you know I completely destroyed both of my knees and the healing time was estimated at 1 year. That, in combination of the heavy opiate pain killers I needed to be on forced me to put down the booze. I worried that my heavy drinking with the medication might kill me. I didn't really want to die. So, in the last year I kicked both booze and opiates. Tough, but worth it.