I have a question
 

Sometimes I read on SR and a lot of people have an attitude that expresses something like the following: "Ok, I quit drinking and now I am moving on and doing other things like spending more time with my family, etc."

Other posters express something like this: "OMG I quit drinking and now I have no idea how to deal with life or do anything and I have all this anxiety and depression! Please help me."

I know I was definitely in the second group. Of course these are generalizations and I know other people have different experiences, but can someone explain to me just how big of a deal quitting drinking is for an alcoholic? I'm 17 months sober and I have been attending meetings every night. At every meeting I hear something I need to hear that helps me stay sober. Lately I have just been having a difficult time really understanding if quitting drinking is a big deal or if it's just something responsible, mature adults should do.

It's absolutely a big deal, and one of the hardest things most people ever do. Be proud that you have done it and maintained your sobriety for 17 months!

It's a big deal most people can't do it to even safe their life's. Congrats on winning on day of at time the biggest battle of your life.

Absolutely it's a big deal. I give myself a big pat on the back for doing it and think the same of everyone here who has done it, or is trying to do it.

17 months is amazing!

Depression kills. Mix that with the damage alcohol does? Depression means everything is not the way it seems- not because life is not worth living - but that the person can feel so overwhelmed with sadness, grief, despair, and loneliness they cannot see their own worth. Then when people tell them to shape up and every body has problems- they can then feel guilty about being inadequate, like they have no right to breath the same air as other people. They simply feel wrong. That is why depression and alcohol is a big deal to me.

Surely it is both, don't you think? For me it was a big deal, it took strength and courage and faith in myself. It meant a change in thinking and a change in living. And it was the only choice for me if I wanted to live in a responsible and mature manner.

Why is this troubling you, Acheleus? Your sobriety is your own. You made it and nobody can ever take that from you. It is your treasure which can never be diminished or spent. You are doing great, don't you think?

I guess my perspective changed a little because I no longer feel controlled by alcohol. For the first time in my life I can see through it and I think it is a consequence of emotional/psychological growth.

My drinking prevented me from maturing so I guess I am just growing up. Nothing is worrying me I just wanted to hear from people who might have different perspectives about how they responded to sobriety.

I am 31 and I just feel kind of infantile. I'm not sure why. I think I just need to quit worrying :herewego

I did watch Sunset Boulevard for the first time last weekend. The one from 1950 with William Holden and Gloria Swanson. I loved it.

First, congratulations on 17 months, that is fantastic! I think it is a very big deal for many of the things you mention in your post. It allows us to be fully present with family and friends again. It forces us to take on whatever life throws at us and deal with it head on, rather than avoiding it in an alcoholic haze.

I am successful in my career, have three amazing kids, and a good husband; and getting sober is one of my greatest accomplishments. It wasn't easy, and I failed more times than I would like to admit, but I am proud of each sober day I have.

Unshackled by the bondage of alcohol, I'm living a life I never dreamed possible.
Sadly, I had to start this new life in my early 40's.
I'm so glad to see so many younger people in my area, working on sobriety.

It's very hard to change a life style, IMO that's why so many people have failed attempts. The end results are very rewarding for those that stay sober

Overcoming a terminal brain illness is quite a big deal I would think. It is of course what every responsible adult should do and actually do, live a sober life, but sick people sometimes are unable to overcome their illness on their own.

Appearances are so deceptive too. Non-alcoholics often compared me to my contemporaries when I was drinking. While there were times when they drank like I did, by my late teens most of them had grown out of it, moderated and settled into a normal sane life. Everyone wanted to know why I couldn't do that too. A couple of my old friends got religion and thought I should just stop like they did. They strongly believed if they could do it, so could I. And when I couldn't, they abandonded me. I will never forget how it felt the day they met me at the entrance way to their property and told me to go away.

I knew I "should" try and develop into a mature responsible adult, not that I had any idea what that was. People around me seemed to be able to do it, and it was a great source of despair for me when they continually went on about how everyone else can do it, why can't you.

I know why now. I fitted the description, and was also medically diagnosed as a chronic hopeless alcoholic, a state from which not many recover. I was well past the point where I could have recovered on my own, in fact I doubt such a point ever existed.

I have seen my medical file and its not very complimentary reports on my state of mind and living circumstances, along with observations on what we in AA would cal character defects. It is not pleasant reading to say the least.

And indeed it is an amazing thing that I am today no longer suffering from this illness. Amazing because I totally lacked the ability, knowledge and power to fix myself. In fact you could almost say I have recovered in spite of myself.

The ultimate question of surrender there!

Simply, it is the most important act, which is immediately followed by the ongoing act of surrender and acceptance.

For me, it was critical. Quit or die. Then my development of a program and ongoing maintenance gives me life.

For me I believe its both. If I weren't an alcoholic, I'd be able to quit once I started to see that I was behaving like a child and hurting others. But, even though I could see these things, I couldn't stop. So, its a big deal because my sick ole brain wants to drink even in the face of awful consequences. I'm not a bad person, I'm a sick person.

But I completely relate to your post. And sometimes I have to say to myself 'hey, you can't do this. You're not like other people. Grow the he!! up'. Sometimes, for me, it does boil down to that.

For me both of the above have equal value.

M-Bob

Quitting drinking literally saved my life. So yeah, it's a big deal!

This is my 3rd go at long-term sobriety (6, 7 and now 3.5 years), and each time it has been a big deal. The 2 times I relapsed (once for a year and once for 8 years) both were preceded by periods where my sobriety seemed to become less of a big deal to me. So my experience is that there seems to be a direct correlation between the significance I place on my sobriety and my ability to maintain it.

I believe that if I was able to just quit drinking and move on with life never to worry about it again, there would be a reasonable chance that I didn't suffer from alcoholism. The fact that I was able to go for years without drinking only to have it come back and wreak havoc in my life over and over is enough proof to me that sobriety will always be a big deal to me.

Huge deal! Will always be huge for me, even if I don't end up spending as much time on it as I am now. It's the sine qua non of my life now, to drop a little Latin.

It was a very big deal for me. It had nothing to do with me growing up in any way. I am very succesful, but alcohol made me see myself as a loser. I said to my wfe "I am a loser". I meant it. Sure does not look like from the outside, but that is how I saw myself.

It took me so many trys to be sober. Too many to count. Certainly was and is not easy. A very big deal indeed.

I know longer think I am a loser. I am no longer suicidal. All because I do not drink.

What I'm hearing (and I could be totally off base and that will happen sometimes) is that you are seeing what people call "diminishing returns".. you're not getting any reward for your efforts and your meeting attendance, you're not feeling the elation and the personal growth that others get with their early sobriety.

I am 90 days sober yesterday and I am a totally different person than I was before I stopped drinking. My life isn't perfect but it's lightyears better than it was. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And I'm not struggling with urges to drink.

I do think perhaps questioning "What's the point?" at this juncture or at any point during sobriety, is a bad sign.. I think it might be a sign that the addictive side of your mind is fighting for more power, it wants you to be able to justify return to drinking. Because it's saying "Do you really need this? Or would drinking now simply be just an irresponsible thing? Everyone is a little irresponsible sometimes."

Don't go there. Figure out what you need to bolster your sobriety.. and it might mean stopping the tiresome routine of attending AA meetings every night for a year and a half.

It might. I don't know that. I'm just basing my ideas on what you've said. You don't sound in love with sobriety. I am in love with my sobriety and that is why I don't want to drink and I never have to question why I'm doing this.

for an alcoholic, quitting drinking is a big deal.
for an alcoholic, learning to live life on lifes terms is a big deal and without that I wouldn't have recovered from alcoholism.

It's a big deal and miraculous when irresponsible alcoholics stop and stay stopped. Atypical of our kind, certainly....