5 days off antabuse
 

I've been on Antabuse since April 6, 2016. I stopped it for almost two weeks and on September 29, 2016 I relapsed and drank for about five days, then went back on it. I've been off of it for 5 days now and I just had two nips. Gotta say I don't believe the effects of the Antabuse have worn off completely. My face is hot and red as well as my neck and chest. Also having difficulty breathing but likely a combination of my asthmatic issues as well.

I'm not really sure why I am doing this to myself. I feel I am punishing myself and stuck in this cycle of destruction that is just too comfortable to not go back to, every now and then.

I think I'm losing myself and don't really know how to snap out of this funk. For what reason would I do this? Knowing the outcome will always be this.. The same cycle of mishap. My thoughts constantly circle back to the comfort, as well as the stresses, of being confined to a psychiatric ward. If only it was as easy to explain as a broken leg. The stigma attached to mental illness and addiction is brutally misunderstood. I need to find myself again.

Welcome back Charx. My guess is that the reason you do this is that you are an alcoholic like me and most of the rest of the folks here on SR. There really no good answer to why either, we simply are.

Antabuse can help you stop drinking, but it is not a cure for addiction in itself. It's just a pill that makes you sick if you drink alcohol. And it's designed to be used as a supplement to a recovery program of some kind. Have you tried meetings or rehab or therapy at all?

I've been in therapy a long while now, yes. I've been to three meetings total over the past 8 months, same place, but I can't get myself to keep going. Just cannot seem to snap out of it and make myself better. I'm well aware this is an issue and I should not be doing it..I don't find much of a like for it as I did before...but as with everything I do...compulsive random sexual encounters, cutting, smoking weed, drinking alcohol.. it's so impulsive and I'm so addicted to all of these mannerisms..

Not sure what kind of excuse I can come up with as to why my face is so red..while at work at this current moment..

I just hope nobody asks..as someone already has suspected something is wrong (but perhaps crying they think)...maybe their mind won't go straight to "oh my god..he has drunk rash...while at work.."

I just had two nips.
 

I stopped reading when I got that far.
Be careful -- sounds like you have been burned before.
Usually it only get's worse.
Good luck,
M-Bob

Perhaps you could consider rehab? Sometime it helps to be completely immersed in an environment promoting sobriety and healthy practices. You may know already, but most of the other problems you list cannot be solved until you stop drinking. Alcohol compounds all the other issues and can interfere with any meds as well. Did your therapist prescribe the Antabuse? Have you let them know you quit taking it?

If you're worried about the red face etc you can always see your Dr,

I think you have other things to consider tho.

There is hope for change in all of us Charx.

I worked pretty hard at keeping drinking and staying drunk. I had to work at least as hard, if not more, at staying sober.

It's hard, but worth it.

D

3 meetings in 8 months. My suggestion is to go to more meetings. Information is power. Learn everything you can about this disease. Then like dee said, work at it.
Just remember, alcoholism is a deadly disease. It will take you to a early grave. Treat it as such.

Antabuse taken for that long can take a few weeks to leave your system. So yeah, the red face and breathing issues are probably due to the interaction with alcohol. I hope you don't drink anymore.

I can't make myself better either. Recovery for me is a discipline.....like eating right, sleep, exercise. I have to work on it everyday. For me to become addicted to alcohol I had to work at that too. Reversing it takes time, support and commitment.

Hi charx. You're absolutely right about the stigma regarding mental illness and addiction. It can be extremely difficult for those not suffering to understand what it's like to live with it.

I can only speak for myself, but I find that just one tool alone isn't enough to keep me sober. I need a combination of medication and support groups to keep me straight and motivated. I find that being with other alcoholics in recovery gives me a sense of connection, whereas otherwise I feel isolated and lonely.

I'm a chronic relapser. For me I've had to find the 'right' combination for ME. It's taken a lot of trial and error, but the only other option was to give up. And that's not really a viable option.

I've been on antabuse for a while but I quit it altogether a few weeks ago. It's a good deterrent if you feel you must stop for a while.

You do it because you love alcohol and you love being drunk/or the effect it brings. You need to come to a choice though if you want the bad effects of alcohol (coming down from it) alongside the high.

There ain't no high for me anymore James. It's ALL downhill.

How's it going Charx?

D

Sorry to hear you are testing the boundaries of Antabuse. I've done that too. It hurts.

Glad to hear you are testing the boundaries of Antabuse. You might find it leads you to sobriety.

Keep taking it. Till you dont need it.