Gottalife

I have hayfever, an allergy to certain pollens. When I am exposed to them I suffer symptoms, mainly sneezing and puffy eyes. I can alleviate the symptoms through medication or going to a pollen free state. But I am never cured, I cannot be exposed to pollen without suffering the reaction. I have had this condition all my life.

Alcoholism is a bit like that except there is no medication that can alleviate the symptom and no known medical cure that would allow me to be exposed to alcohol without suffering the symptoms of alcoholism. The only solution is complete abstinence, which the real alcoholic finds extremely difficult to accomplish without help.

Many an alcoholic has fallen victim to the delusion that after a long period of abstinence he must be cured and can therefore drink safely. There are plenty of examples of that on this site and it always works out the same. They discover they are still alcoholic.

SollytheGolly

A reasonable analogy Gottalife. And I see you describe yourself as a recovered alcoholic, so very well done.

Perhaps one day a cure will be found for hay fever and a solution for alcohol dependency.

I wish you well.

Dee74

How are you doing Shortstop?

D

shortstop81

IMO there's no right or wrong label to use - whatever helps the individual stay sober. It's a very personal thing, and I don't think it's accurate to say that any method is unhelpful. I certainly wouldn't say that to anyone I've met with a significant amount of sober time behind them.

shortstop81

I went to a meeting last night and one of our topics was Fear. I heard some things that I really needed to hear because it described me perfectly. Someone described how their pervasive fear drove them - fear of not getting what they want, and fear of losing what they had. Someone else expanded on that and described how that very fear drove them to lie, manipulate, and do whatever they had to do to hold on to these things/people.

And that's what I've been doing, because I haven't had faith in living an honest life. I have an overwhelming fear of rejection, and as a result I sabotage anything worthwhile instead of giving anything an earnest effort.

My girlfriend (whom I love very much) says she's taking a few days and then we'll eventually talk. I don't want to offer explanations or excuses, I know she's sick of hearing it. I'll leave it open to her whether she wants to hear what steps I've been taking and how I've been doing. It's ultimately up to her whether she wants to continue on this journey with me.

Dee74

I know I was very uncomfortable with being happy. I didn't trust that emotion and I sabotaged things more than once to scurry back to emotions I was familiar with.

But...drinking ceased to become a viable option, so I had to get used to feeling peaceful, happy content and securely sober (just as I had to deal with soberly feeling scared lonely angry etc)

It's a process. We grow into it

Have patience - and faith - and I reckon you'll be ok shortstop

D

shortstop81

I'm also impressed with the Campral so far. No cravings or obsessive thoughts of drinking (yet).