Hawkeye13

StormiNormi

I just had a 2 hour conversatiion with my schzoprehnic sister.
Trying to rationalize with her why I don't have three hours to drive 60 miles to come visit her for 15 minutes
I am so tired..

StormiNormi

I just want to cry.

sleepie

Stormi stay strong we are here with you.

But it's ok to cry you know, you don't have to be strong every waking moment

sleepie

take a time out and do something just for you today Stormi... and turn off the phone while you do so as not get calls or texts.

Even if it's just a cup of tea and a small "time out".

Cow

...go ahead and cry, dear Stormi. Sometime it all you can do. You not can fix you sister, no matter how much time or monies you pour into it. You has already offer Herculean level of help. Today maybe offer some of that care to you self. You is in need to.

StormiNormi

Sibling #1- (61) homeless drug addict. No spouse.
Sibling #2-(60) congestive heart failure, RA, Lupus, obese (400#l +4 immune diseases internal organ failure. No spouse
Sibling 3 (58) -deceased in Thailand. No spouse.
Siblibg 4 (57(_ sychpohrenic. No spouse.
Syblibg 5 (56)Bipolar personality disoder. No spouse
Sibling 6 (55**) physically disabled. No spouse
Me. (7)- healthy. (Spouse/ 35 years) .

Wtf do I do with this?
Both M&F deceased.
No known relatives

StormiNormi

Tea time makes me happy

Ariesagain

Here you go...

ScottFromWI

You realize that there is no humanly possible way for you to control or fix any of it by yourself. If you set unrealistic expectations for yourself you will always fail and it will cause you more problems than existed in the first place. You also take time to be grateful that you are healthy and that you have what you have - and to enjoy it.

It won't be easy, and others may not like it initially, but they will get used to it. You cannot fix any of the problems that your siblings have, not matter how hard you try.

You talked about setting boundaries for this weekend - that's a great step towards what I and others are talking about. If you don't you'll eventually burn yourself out so bad that you cannot even help yourself, much less others.

StormiNormi

I would say I can stay strong; but my spouse keeps walking away from mehe left the day after my Mother died.
I cannot gaurantee how much longer I can be strong without breaking

Gilmer

Don't beat yourself up--you absolutely did the right thing.

The primary right thing is to give yourself the care you have given to the others. If you collapse, nobody will benefit.

StormiNormi

Gilmer, if I collapse my whole world will go down with me.

StormiNormi

Big huge croccodile tears today.

ScottFromWI

That's why it's even more imperative that you stop doing so much. It might even require some very significant change...maybe a move, maybe a different line of work - but if you keep trying to burn the candle at both ends you will collapse, our minds and bodies simply can only take so much.

There are very few things in this world that can't wait until tomorrow, or even next week. Sometimes you have to simply let the phone ring or even turn off the ringer, shut off the email, etc. It's not a sign of weakness - you are ALLOWED to take care of yourself. And it's perfectly fine to reach out to others for help. You are welcome to do that here whenever you want of course. There are most likely counselors you could talk with where you live, or even a doctor, priest etc. The thing is though you've got to let some of this go...just stop and take a breath.

aasharon90

^
What was shared above me from Scott was
exactly what I was thinking too.

There has got to be someone, a councilor,
who can take this load from you and help
you realize that the world will not come
crashing down if you went to sleep tonight,
turned ur phones off or set it to take messages.

We are all just one human being and
we don't have to carry the weight of
the world on our shoulder by ourselves.

We all need time to ourselves, to take
care of our own needs. It is not being
selfish when we do this for ourselves.

I guess I would have to ask myself, who
appointed me to take care of the world?
No one but myself. And now its time to
step away and let go with compassion,
not meaness or cruelty, but for understanding,
and standing strong for what you now
need for you in your life today.

There is just so much one person can do.
And you have done sooooo much as others
have said. Find an attorney or someone
who could guide you into appointing someone
to look after these family members.

Those who have the knowledge in those
areas. Continue to ask for what you need,
which is help for these members until
someone has the perfect answer for you.

Someone out there has been there, done
the same similar thing as you and has asked,
researched, did the foot work in achieving
the perfect solution to this situation.

The world will not stop revolving if
you placed all on hold. Now its up to
you to believe it.

We wont let you fall. We sincerely promise.

Love and Care sent ur way.

StormiNormi

Sibling #4 berated me from 5 am until 11 am today in how I am selfish, self centred and couldnt care less for her for the past 10 years
It has been a little more than 2 years since I chose to seperate myself from her choices.
According to her; the previous 8 years of bending over backwards to help her doesnt count.
Only the time I have been trying to set bounderies; which incidentally coincides with sobriety.
In all this; she dares to ask me if I am sober last night.. .
I want to punch something now.

Excuse me.... I am going for a brisk walk.

StormiNormi

Oh and befor I leave I do have to mention that she threw my dead child's mental illness in my face, also.
The devil is chasing me today. I am wearing my best sneakers on my walk.

Gilmer

She's toxic. You should block her.

StormiNormi

I just did that. Thank you for that validation.
I said to her; mental illness aside; you are toxic to my well being.
Done.