1st DUI
 

Well about 2 weeks ago, I received my first DUI. I went down to the station and blew a very high BAC. I am so nervous regarding the outcome of all of this. I was planning a very detailed future for myself and now everything is blurry. I've worked so hard to get what I have and I feel as if I've thrown it all away in about 10 minutes. I totaled my car and can't afford to get another one. I didn't have full coverage so my car is just sitting in a friends lawn until I figure out my next move. I have been depressed everyday. I have thought about all of the different choices I could have made that night to prevent all of this. I haven't told my family and Thanksgiving is next week. My mothers birthday is coming up and I can't go visit her. I feel like a loser. I've never been in trouble with the law. Having my mugshot float around only adds to the pain and agony that won't seem to go away. I have very supportive friends but somehow, I still feel alone. They offer suggestions but it's not their situation. They have no idea how hard this is for me. I pray everyday that I'll wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream but it's not. It's very real. There were so many signs leading up to this that I chose to ignore. I never thought that I'd be "one of those people". I've hired a lawyer but that along with other bills I have leaves me barely enough money to eat with. I am so stressed. Many people in these groups claim that things will get better with time but my depression is severe. It's like a messed up roller coaster. My emotions are inconsistent and I truly believe that I'm going to feel like this forever. My court date is a few weeks away and I'm beyond nervous. I understand that even if the judge understands that I made a mistake (as people before me have) it's still his job to sentence me accordingly. I hate that this is happening to me. Everyday I feel disgusted with myself and worthless. I just pray that it all ends soon.

I'm so sorry Broken. I'm also really glad you, or someone else, wasn't hurt. That is truly something to be grateful for.

I know its hard to see any light right now, but you will get through this. What you do because of this will define its long term meaning. Maybe this is a wake up call?

It might help you to attend AA meetings. As a part of your DUI you may be required to anyway. I recommend getting a signature from a member of the meeting you attend verifying you were there. It will show the judge your intent. I would go every day. And you'll probably meet people that are going through what you are.

Hang in there. It gets better.

Sorry to hear about your situation, how dreadful! I understand why you are feeling depressed because of the significant consequences that come with DUI's. And as much as it is true that not hurting yourself or others is true, I understand how it still sucks. One of my biggest fears in life was getting a DUI, and maybe that is why that is one thing I didn't do when drinking and blacking out. I also feel for you that this is happening over the holidays, what a bummer. If I was in your position, I would google a book about how to cope with a DUI and survive its aftermath. That is what would be most helpful for me. Good luck!

I have suffered a lot because of my drinking ways and many DUI's.
Believe me the main thing now is not to get another DUI.
I'm sure that is the last thing on your mind.
But truth be told, many drunks will receive their second DUI in short time.

Maybe you are not a drunk ? Alcoholic ?

But, if you are the best way for us to stay out of trouble with the law, job, family and friends is to get sober and stay sober.

M-Bob

I have been in your shoes long ago. Unfortunately, more than once. While you are embarrassed, it is something that WILL improve with time. You made a mistake. A first offense DUI is not an end all by any means. It is costly, it will stay on your record for insurance for 3 years and you may or may not be able to get a restricted license. You will not be jailed and removed from society. There may be a weekend you have to spend or not depending. I hate that this happened to you, but in some cases it can be the best thing to happen. You were not injured severely and neither was anyone else. You can take this miss-hap and shape it positively as something that never happens again. As far as court goes, while this is understandably a huge deal for you, this is just "routine" for the courts. They will not "throw the book at you". Keep your head up and walk through this and remember this, but make it shape your future positively and not negatively. It will be ok IF this is a learning experience. I can assure you of that simple fact.

Stays on record in California for 10 years.

9 years sober here -- paying close to 3 thousand a year vehicle insurance.

M-Bob

Been there BrokenW, the key now is just to get through it and you will. What seems like the end of the world right now will be nothing down the road. That is as long as you right the ship now. You don't want a second, that is when your problems will really become apparent. A first mistake is just that, a mistake, most people in life will understand that and it shouldn't affect you that much. It's what you take from it now for yourself personally is how it will affect you in the future. Start taking steps now to avoid it ever happening again. You'll be fine in no time of you move in the right direction with the right frame of mind.

Thank you for your positivity. It really helps.

Hi Broken.. my Pop used to say if you do the dance you have to pay... yep.. well kiddo ... at least you can look in the mirror and know that the only one you have harmed is you ... at this time... I live in Milwaukee.. we have a 5 year old that was crossing the street on Sunday morning with Mom .. going to church.. that was hit and bounced.. she will be put to rest this Thursday.. and the guy.. they just got him.. had been high and drinking and ran... sorry all but DUI's are not something you collect.. this man had 4 under his belt.. and really doesn't care about the little girl at all.. Kiddo .. I know what I am putting here is rough.. but .. you call your Mom and tell her how much you love her and kiddo go to court clean up.. stand tall and take it like a Man.. what ever happens .. this is why you don't drink and drive .. get high and drive.. or be a dumb ass and drive. for you have to pay the piper.. prayers kiddo so many prayers.. a Mother that has stood with so many MADD...

BW- firstly no more drinking, yes? Stay safe, Consequences happen. Keep posting and get face to f support, lots of meetings. Thoughts and prayers.

Here's something positive - nobody died. It could be a lot worse. All you can do now is take action and turn things around. It will take time but it could have been much, much worse.

Sorry to hear of your misfortune BrokenW, lots of good advice here. Regarding your depression, have you considered that your depression might be a completely separate issue that may need treatment in itself? All of the things happening around you right now would certainly have a negative effect, but depression is a diagnosable/treatable condition.

All of the consequences of the DUI will play out on their own, worrying about it wont' really help much. Working on your drinking issues and perhaps seeking some help for your depression will though...give it some serious thought.

Welcome BrokenW, and I'm sorry you are in this situation. Thankfully no one was hurt. It's important to not let yourself spin out of control with depression and negative emotions at this point. If you do, you are likely to cause more problems for yourself.

Are you planning to stop drinking? I hope so, and we can offer lots of support.

Hello! I had a DUI and the few weeks after were VERY dark for me. Mad, sad, lost, frustrated, hating myself. All of that. You WILL get through this. You can't undo what is done. All you can do is take the steps to stop drinking and better yourself. The fact that you didn'tkill yourself or someone else means that you can still fight. You were given another chance by the fact that you're alive and that no one was hurt. I know it is easy to fall into a deep depression. BTDT, but all that would have done was lead to MORE drinking. Use this as something to propel you into a new and better life. You're not alone and I am sorry that you're here.

Got my DUI just before Thanksgiving in 2003. It scared me straight for a few months, but after I got through all the legal stuff, I was right back at it again. Took me nearly 6 more years before I sobered up for good.

You WILL get through this. Up to you whether or not you quit drinking for good.

HI BrokenW :)

have you made a decision on your drinking - are you stopping?

D

Turn this negative into a positive. How are you going to do that? Take action. If you don't learn from this then you might repeat the poor decision to drink and drink again. Take action. Massive amounts of action.

If your car is not worth fixing you could sell it for parts and get a little cash.

Is this problem the result of a stupid decision made in isolation, or is it the result of a drinking problem? A single dui does not an alcoholic make.

Respectfully, I must disagree with your question here, Mike. It does not matter one whit whether BrokenW is an alcoholic or not. He will probably be much better off never drinking again, regardless.

You will overcome this, BrokenW, if a competent attorney is guiding you through the defense process, but please believe me when I say the following. I will be blunt, because I hope that you do not someday forget my advice.

If you wish to avoid incurring losses in the future, losses which you cannot yet imagine, and which are not so easily overcome, you must never drink again, as if alcohol were cyanide.