steve-in-kville

I'm learning the emotional healing is a lot longer path than I expected. I think I'm becoming more of an introvert than I already was. I never was all that social to begin with when I drank.

I'll never be an extrovert, that's for sure!

So is sobriety causing you to be more social? More reserved?

entropy1964

I can only share my experience. I've had many periods of 'recovery' in the last 13 years. Most of them were really just interruptions between benders of 3, 6, 9 months etc. I had 2 years at one point that I guess was the closest I ever came to being in recovery. I'll have 90 on Tuesday. Where am I going with this? I frankly have no real solid idea of who I am. Never really have. I know what I am drunk....and I know that isn't the genuine 'me'. I don't know that I've ever been fully 'me'. And I know for sure there is no way to know what I'll grow into at 90 days. I do know that I'll try not to label myself, compare myself, judge myself and try to categorize myself. I'm just trying to live each day as it comes. Try to be honest with myself and others. Try to understand my feelings and reactions. Hopefully enough days will add up and I'll actually get to know myself. Then I can become me.....I hope.

Maudcat

Actually, after I stopped drinking, I became far more open to going out in the evening, even if only for a walk. And to travelling, which my spouse loves to do and I feared because I worried about the booze supply. These are more experiential observations, as opposed to introvert vs. extrovert personality definitions. I think I have become slightlymore extroverted in sobriety. I am certainly a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

Mountainmanbob

Did sobriety cause you to be more outgoing or reserved as a person?

It has worked both ways for me.
I have been able at times to overcome and be outgoing where it used to be hard.
And yet, my most enjoyable moments now days are here at home.

Sobriety has been nothing except a positive in my life
and also for the ones around me.

M-Bob

aasharon90

I took your poll and have to say that Im
more reserved than I was drinking.

Liquid courage in a bottle that was
not the healthy kind which allowed
me to become not my true self wearing
a false front, face to hide behind and
no one ever knew.

That to me was my kryptonite.

Once I got sober, I had to learn how
to be honest and remove that false
mask and remember that I was and
still am a child of God.

Today, I say I don't need all that pomp
and circumstance to live my life. Well,
just a little because I have many wonderful
artful, tasteful tattoos today that I didn't
have for the most part of my life.

My little world consists of helping
others in recovery, working in my
lovely backyard, tending to God's
wonderful feather friends providing
them food, a colorful display of flowers
and greenery each day they visit us.

Sobriety at 26 yrs is gift I don't take
for granted but appreciate and hold
close to my mind, body and soul.

Bird615

One of my reasons for drinking was to be more "out there"--more social and extroverted. I've always been shy and reserved and used to have a lot of anxiety. Drinking backfired though, because it soon only caused me to be less social because of embarrassment and shame.

I was completely denying my true nature. I'm an introvert and once I got sober this time, I've finally accepted it and am perfectly content to be this way. I've learned to really enjoy my own company now. I no longer feel guilty or somehow inadequate because I'm not more sociable than I am.

At the same time, and maybe it comes with age, I am more comfortable around people than I used to be. Just as long as it's not too many of them at once.

steve-in-kville

I am kinda seeing a combination of both. I am getting a bit more outspoken... almost like I really don't care what people think, I'll do my own thing. Which is why I am keeping to myself a lot more in the same sense.

I am definitely more careful who I confide in with personal info. But I learned that lesson the hard way!

ScottFromWI

I am pretty much the same person I was before I quit. I think a lot of people equate "going out and getting drunk" with "being more outgoing". Sobriety has allowed me to become more confident in myself though because I know I can face things better now instead of hiding/running away to alcohol.

steve-in-kville

That's a great way of describing it! I just have to be careful I don't become an @$$hole in the process.

sugarbear1

There is a difference between being introverted/extroverted and being out-going. I am by nature an introvert; I gain my momentum by having quiet time and by not being distracted by others. I was never truly out-going; I didn't enjoy the company of others until I got sober and began a spiritual journey.

Today, I can be comfortable in my own skin wherever I am. This is a nice change in me!

soberlicious

I think society sort of frames introversion as a negative, as if we should all strive to be more extroverted. Introversion and extroversion, and the entire spectrum in between, is simply a way of framing how one gets mental energy. More extroverted people are generally energized by the world around them and introverted people gain mental energy from more alone time or in smaller group interactions. One is not preferable over the other, it is simply a theory of how we operate. Introversion is often confused with shyness and extroversion with confidence, but neither of those stereotypes are accurate. While each has some behavioral manifestations, the introversion/extroversion continuum is not synonymous with social aptitude.

I'd say I'm an ambivert and always have been. I often get every energized by being in big groups. I equally crave time to be alone and reflect. When I was drinking, I often behaved erratically. My behavior made me appear to be extremely extroverted (I would do or say anything-no filter) or extremely introverted (I didn't want to do anything that messed with my drinking time), but those were just behavioral states that were altered by addiction.

Alcohol can't make a person introverted or extroverted per se. It can make you behave in ways that aren't true to your nature though for sure.

zerothehero

I don't think I'm more reserved, but rather, I'm more myself. I just seemed more extroverted when I drank.

BrendaChenowyth

I was naturally introverted, and at times would be outgoing in the wrong ways, when I drank.

I didn't become more comfortable with myself because I stopped drinking.. and again, here I go, a broken record.. but as Steve said, the healing happens gradually.. and for me, I've learned to like myself a lot more, in fact I'm sort of a bad ass and love speaking my mind and interacting with people now.

It's so funny. There was this really, really lovable person hiding under all the ********. I had no clue.

LadyBlue0527

More reserved. I am quite surprised that my favorite thing to do now is to sit in a cozy chair with my blanket and read a book or watch a really good movie. In my drinking days I would have fallen on the floor exclaiming how boooooooooring that was (aka I'm whining because I'm not drinking).

Delfin

I love the way you write your posts, Sharon. Been wanting to tell you for a long time.

Delfin

JeffreyAK

Both, for me, depending on circumstances. Or perhaps neither, it's hard to tell since I spent so many years with alcohol in social situations. One thing for sure is, I don't really care. I'm me, comfortable in my own skin, and I care a lot less than I used to about what other people think.

BullDog777

i say alot more stupid s#it than i used to when i was drinking. I didn't think that was possible. lol

my social skills suck now. Sometimes I forget that my good natured humor often isn't shared by everyone and i wind up with my foot in my mouth.

Gottalife

Being sober has allowed me to develop and grow as a person. In the latter part of my drinking and in early sobriety I had a kind of fear driven introversion, not at all good at socialising with regular folks, thought I took an immediate like to meetings and AA people.

As the fear left, a change took place, over many years so that the psychometric testing that has shown me as an introvert, has gradually changed to the extent that I am now mildly extroverted.

I have become much more interested in my fellow humans, and I make friends easily.

I dont think being sober caused that on its own, it was the spiritual path I chose that has resulted in me being much more outgoing and "other" focussed.

theVman31

Still introvert but nicer and somewhat more comfortable with people in certain social occasions. I dont have much time for loud noisy parties and I try to avoid work parties (for now anyway)

I suppose it depends too on how far into recovery you are

mirage

I'm an introvert by nature, (but good in social situations) but lately I've been more social and I've been pretty surprised/pleased that it doesn't drain me the way it used to. It used to be that if I did something really social with a bunch of people, I'd need a couple days to sort of recover. Now I'm doing stuff back to back without really thinking about it, though I still prefer a smaller number of people.

I'm definitely more comfortable and surprisingly more confident. It might be because I'm proud of my sobriety and getting used to being sober in every situation. (I have 5 years now.) Plus, ya know..you get older and wiser and you change and grow. All that said, I think I'm less introverted, though I'm sure the word "extrovert" will never be used to describe me. Interesting question!