A Journey to Sobriety
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Sometimes I wonder if I think too much lol. I was reading through the threads today and got to thinking about life, how it’s all about compromises, give and take so to speak. Everyday we are faced with decisions, choices, of all kinds. When we decide or choose something it usually means we are letting go of another option. Kind of like Bob Barker’s Let's Make A Deal, do you want the cash or take what’s behind the curtain?
I choose to live in a small rural setting in northern Alberta. What I gave up was all the amenities that big cities offer, shopping, restaurants, cultural events, etc. What I got was quiet, peaceful living. Fresh country air whenever I step outside. A neighbourhood where I know everyone by their first names and we actually wave to each other. We look after each other's possessions whenever someone is away. It was the right choice for me.
I choose to get into the trades as my career. I could have furthered my education via university and become an engineer, Doctor, or lawyer. Could have made more money, had a nine to five job, early retirement, and maybe even financial freedom. What I got was a job that I love doing, a job that I know I’m very good at. I enjoy getting up in the morning and going to work. I’m not rich or able to afford early retirement, but Bubba and I have a comfortable life, and we are grateful for it. I made the right choice for me.
I choose to quit drinking. I could have continued and probably ended up dead. I could still be lying to Bubba about where I was and what I was doing. I could still be nursing hangovers every morning. What I got was a second chance at life, a chance to be the best person I can be. A proper husband and father. Someone who keeps their promises and doesn’t have to worry about lying anymore because I have nothing to lie about. I’m not an alcohol basher at all, I feel no jealousy to the people who can drink normally, good for them! I made the right choice for me.
So life is really all about compromises, giving and taking. I’m living the life I should have been all along, and I’m happy with my choices….
I choose to live in a small rural setting in northern Alberta. What I gave up was all the amenities that big cities offer, shopping, restaurants, cultural events, etc. What I got was quiet, peaceful living. Fresh country air whenever I step outside. A neighbourhood where I know everyone by their first names and we actually wave to each other. We look after each other's possessions whenever someone is away. It was the right choice for me.
I choose to get into the trades as my career. I could have furthered my education via university and become an engineer, Doctor, or lawyer. Could have made more money, had a nine to five job, early retirement, and maybe even financial freedom. What I got was a job that I love doing, a job that I know I’m very good at. I enjoy getting up in the morning and going to work. I’m not rich or able to afford early retirement, but Bubba and I have a comfortable life, and we are grateful for it. I made the right choice for me.
I choose to quit drinking. I could have continued and probably ended up dead. I could still be lying to Bubba about where I was and what I was doing. I could still be nursing hangovers every morning. What I got was a second chance at life, a chance to be the best person I can be. A proper husband and father. Someone who keeps their promises and doesn’t have to worry about lying anymore because I have nothing to lie about. I’m not an alcohol basher at all, I feel no jealousy to the people who can drink normally, good for them! I made the right choice for me.
So life is really all about compromises, giving and taking. I’m living the life I should have been all along, and I’m happy with my choices….
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Most everyone in recovery talks about being on a journey, but a journey to what? It isn’t a journey to a cure, because there isn’t one. It isn’t a journey to a destination, we have no real destination. It isn’t a journey that has an end, unless we consider death the end of our journey. So what is our journey?
I think for me the journey is a path, a direction I must travel that will allow me to be the best person that I can be. To be that person, I had to leave alcohol back at the starting point. And every stop I make along my path, I have to remind myself that there is no going back. There will be forks and crossroads along my path, it will be up to me to choose the right direction each time I reach one, no one can decide for me. My journey is a journey to sobriety, I travel it every day, and there is no end in sight. I’m okay with that, because if I only look at it as traveling just one day at a time, those days will add up. Just like walking one mile at a time, you increase the distance between what you were to who you want to be. I have come a long way on my journey, but there are still miles to make. But then tomorrow is another day to get in a few more miles….
I think for me the journey is a path, a direction I must travel that will allow me to be the best person that I can be. To be that person, I had to leave alcohol back at the starting point. And every stop I make along my path, I have to remind myself that there is no going back. There will be forks and crossroads along my path, it will be up to me to choose the right direction each time I reach one, no one can decide for me. My journey is a journey to sobriety, I travel it every day, and there is no end in sight. I’m okay with that, because if I only look at it as traveling just one day at a time, those days will add up. Just like walking one mile at a time, you increase the distance between what you were to who you want to be. I have come a long way on my journey, but there are still miles to make. But then tomorrow is another day to get in a few more miles….
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Someone asked me the other day what one word would I use to describe sobriety? Without hesitation, I answered “freedom”. But with most freedoms, a bit of sacrifice comes with it.[/QUOTE]
I loved your posts. I'm new, I'm only on day 23, but freedom completely describes the feeling that I've been feeling more and more each day but wasn't quite sure how to describe.
I loved your posts. I'm new, I'm only on day 23, but freedom completely describes the feeling that I've been feeling more and more each day but wasn't quite sure how to describe.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Originally Posted by crystaljb
I'm only on day 23
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by abcowboy 
ONLY day 23 Crystal?? That's a huge accomplishment! I can't count the amount of times I couldn't make it past day 3! Be proud of everyday you are sober, this is one of the hardest things we will ever do, but everyone can do it. Freedom is there for the taking, just remember your goal and live each day in fulfillment of that goal.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Howdy y'all, I'm still around, just busy, but busy is no excuse to do my part in service to others. In the mornings I post here on the 24 hour thread, then I post on 2 other recovery forums, and always say to myself that I'll post more to my journal here in the evening. But then I get home, have supper, and decide to read a book instead. It's procrastination, and it's a poor choice when there's lots of great reading right here on SR! Funny the choices we make....
Sobriety is a choice we all have the freedom to make. We make choices every day, what should I wear today, what should I have for breakfast, should I pack a lunch or eat out, so many choices that we don’t even realize that we are making them. And they are usually easy choices to make. But then we get hit with some tougher choices, usually choices that will have a big impact on our life such as; should I get married, should we buy a new car, or maybe even should we buy a house. But we think through the choices and make them. But for some reason when it comes to drinking or quitting, we just can’t make that choice, it seems the choice is made for us.
When I first accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic I did what most of us do, I went to AA. But as the months went by and I had a slip, then more months went by and I slipped again, I started reading and researching everything I could about alcoholism. I didn’t buy into the “disease” theory because there was no easy, simple treatment that works. If people could and did get sober through meetings, determination, support, or prayer, then it wasn’t a disease to me. I guess the only reason I think of it as a disease is because you are never really “cured”. I didn’t believe that my brain was wired wrong either, if that were the case we’d all need some sort of medication to alter our brain wiring.
When I finally did get sober, I quit worrying about “why” I was an alcoholic, all I worried about was staying sober and none of the rest of the talk about alcoholism bothered or affected me. It all came down to a choice, did I want to be sober or did I want to drink. I wanted to be sober so I just quit thinking about that first drink. If you don’t have the first, you can’t have the second, pretty simple it seemed. We all have the freedom to make the choice I did, the hard part comes in finding a method that can support that choice, finding the way out. There is a way out, a choice, for each and every one of us. Don’t let that choice become a reason to drink again like I did. AA isn’t working so I may as well drink until I find something else that I can try. The first choice and only choice is to not have that drink, now you just have to find the method that will continue to support that choice. And until you do, keep making the choice to not drink, you’ll find that you had the way out inside you already, but you couldn’t see the forest because of all the trees…..
Sobriety is a choice we all have the freedom to make. We make choices every day, what should I wear today, what should I have for breakfast, should I pack a lunch or eat out, so many choices that we don’t even realize that we are making them. And they are usually easy choices to make. But then we get hit with some tougher choices, usually choices that will have a big impact on our life such as; should I get married, should we buy a new car, or maybe even should we buy a house. But we think through the choices and make them. But for some reason when it comes to drinking or quitting, we just can’t make that choice, it seems the choice is made for us.
When I first accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic I did what most of us do, I went to AA. But as the months went by and I had a slip, then more months went by and I slipped again, I started reading and researching everything I could about alcoholism. I didn’t buy into the “disease” theory because there was no easy, simple treatment that works. If people could and did get sober through meetings, determination, support, or prayer, then it wasn’t a disease to me. I guess the only reason I think of it as a disease is because you are never really “cured”. I didn’t believe that my brain was wired wrong either, if that were the case we’d all need some sort of medication to alter our brain wiring.
When I finally did get sober, I quit worrying about “why” I was an alcoholic, all I worried about was staying sober and none of the rest of the talk about alcoholism bothered or affected me. It all came down to a choice, did I want to be sober or did I want to drink. I wanted to be sober so I just quit thinking about that first drink. If you don’t have the first, you can’t have the second, pretty simple it seemed. We all have the freedom to make the choice I did, the hard part comes in finding a method that can support that choice, finding the way out. There is a way out, a choice, for each and every one of us. Don’t let that choice become a reason to drink again like I did. AA isn’t working so I may as well drink until I find something else that I can try. The first choice and only choice is to not have that drink, now you just have to find the method that will continue to support that choice. And until you do, keep making the choice to not drink, you’ll find that you had the way out inside you already, but you couldn’t see the forest because of all the trees…..
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 414
After riding the booze/pill elevator almost to the bottom, I was fortunate, like you, to wake up. Finally, I realized that there is absolutely nothing in a drink or pill for me. These awake days, I am present for it all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I treaure your posts -- you nailed it again.
Indeed, I have been pondering the good that has come out of my alcoholism, provided that I never drink. I have learned so much about myself and to appreciate all the good that I have been given in a way I never did when life we just chugging along. The sticker price was high, much too high, but there are learnings.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. It is a choice every day -- we can debate the rest, but is the debate and pondering worth the energy when the choice is made, its like after a breakup and my ex tells me how its all my fault -- maybe so, but what lets move on.
So now we are moving along in our life post the booze breakup -- the only critical point is to never get cocky and forget what a thin thread it is divided by just one drink.
Round the holidays its a good thought to keep front and center -- life be good BECAUSE I dont dink, one drink and it be bad again.
Scary thought until we realize that the choice is always ours.
Thanks again Cowboy.
Indeed, I have been pondering the good that has come out of my alcoholism, provided that I never drink. I have learned so much about myself and to appreciate all the good that I have been given in a way I never did when life we just chugging along. The sticker price was high, much too high, but there are learnings.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. It is a choice every day -- we can debate the rest, but is the debate and pondering worth the energy when the choice is made, its like after a breakup and my ex tells me how its all my fault -- maybe so, but what lets move on.
So now we are moving along in our life post the booze breakup -- the only critical point is to never get cocky and forget what a thin thread it is divided by just one drink.
Round the holidays its a good thought to keep front and center -- life be good BECAUSE I dont dink, one drink and it be bad again.
Scary thought until we realize that the choice is always ours.
Thanks again Cowboy.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
To be honest, I think we all share the same thoughts, I just sit with a pen and paper when I get to thinking, then try and make some sense of it lol. I sometimes wonder why it took me so long to realize and admit that I was an alcoholic. Granted, in the last five years of my drinking career it really got out of hand, drinking 12 hours a day, seven days a week, $200 per week on booze. One would think that would be enough to realize that the drinking was more than just a problem, it had turned into an addiction. Then came the 2.5 years of trying to quit. And you’d think after all I’d been through and put my family through that walking away from it would be easy, but it wasn’t. Always an excuse to drown my sorrows, fears, anger, whatever!
And I think what would have changed if I’d quit earlier? For one thing, the relationship between my youngest daughter and I wouldn’t be so strained. Bubba wouldn’t have had to go through all those nights of worry, and arguments, crying herself to sleep. And there’s always the money that would have been saved, but we never think about the money.
Then I remind myself that I can’t change any of that, I can only try and make amends wherever possible, and show by my actions and attitude that the drunken me is dead and buried. And be grateful that I found a quit that sticks, that it is possible, and not just for me but for everyone. They say that good things come to those who wait and I say good things come to those who never give up.
And I think what would have changed if I’d quit earlier? For one thing, the relationship between my youngest daughter and I wouldn’t be so strained. Bubba wouldn’t have had to go through all those nights of worry, and arguments, crying herself to sleep. And there’s always the money that would have been saved, but we never think about the money.
Then I remind myself that I can’t change any of that, I can only try and make amends wherever possible, and show by my actions and attitude that the drunken me is dead and buried. And be grateful that I found a quit that sticks, that it is possible, and not just for me but for everyone. They say that good things come to those who wait and I say good things come to those who never give up.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
When I first started this quit I was determined to make it stick, I knew if I returned to drinking that I probably would never try to quit again. I was down on myself for thinking that alcohol had so much control over me that I might as well just concede to that fact. So I decided that I would take it one day at a time, deal with problems and issues as they arose, not bury them or try to drink them away and those one day at a times slowly but surely turned into a year. And the sober days keep adding up. I just passed my 700th day of being sober, 700 days of committing each morning to being sober for the next 24 hours. Remembering that commitment to myself throughout the day.
Getting through all the “firsts” in the first year was no easy task, but no matter what the “first” was, I just reminded myself that the day was no different than the day I had left behind, I didn’t need a drink to get through that day so I don’t need one to get through today either. Once all those “firsts” are conquered, it is a bit of emotional celebration, but also a bit of a letdown. I did it! Now where do I go from here? I knew that my quit was secure, but I had to change my life in a way that made me happy that I was a non-drinker, make sure that my AV was safely locked away. Do I think about drinking, of course I do. Do I wish I could be a normal drinker? Some days I do, most times I don’t because I know that I never was or will be a normal drinker. So I don’t need to look at my past and see where I went wrong, drinking was wrong, for me anyway.
Now, I don’t worry so much about me, now I try and help others find what I’ve found. Life can be great without alcohol, but you have to make it that way. If you continually think back about the good times you had when drinking you’re just setting yourself up for a relapse or slip. Remembering all the bad things that happened when drinking helps keep your quit solid, but I don’t dwell on my past. It was a different person who did those things, a person who was addicted to alcohol. I’m a new person with a new way of life, and if I don’t embrace this new way of life I’ll be living life in neutral, not moving forward, but not going back either. That’s no way to live.
Getting through all the “firsts” in the first year was no easy task, but no matter what the “first” was, I just reminded myself that the day was no different than the day I had left behind, I didn’t need a drink to get through that day so I don’t need one to get through today either. Once all those “firsts” are conquered, it is a bit of emotional celebration, but also a bit of a letdown. I did it! Now where do I go from here? I knew that my quit was secure, but I had to change my life in a way that made me happy that I was a non-drinker, make sure that my AV was safely locked away. Do I think about drinking, of course I do. Do I wish I could be a normal drinker? Some days I do, most times I don’t because I know that I never was or will be a normal drinker. So I don’t need to look at my past and see where I went wrong, drinking was wrong, for me anyway.
Now, I don’t worry so much about me, now I try and help others find what I’ve found. Life can be great without alcohol, but you have to make it that way. If you continually think back about the good times you had when drinking you’re just setting yourself up for a relapse or slip. Remembering all the bad things that happened when drinking helps keep your quit solid, but I don’t dwell on my past. It was a different person who did those things, a person who was addicted to alcohol. I’m a new person with a new way of life, and if I don’t embrace this new way of life I’ll be living life in neutral, not moving forward, but not going back either. That’s no way to live.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,874
**WARNING** This post is going to be about Christmas and God, if you are a non-believer, you may want to skip reading this, or maybe you should read this….
I was born, baptized, and raised Roman Catholic. I believe in God, I believe it was God who played the biggest role in me getting sober. But I don’t attend any Church services, I don’t need a Church to believe in God. Bubba was born, baptized, and raised Ukrainian Catholic. She has a stronger faith in God than I do. She takes our 94 year old widowed next door neighbour to the Anglican Church every Sunday. She rarely goes to a Ukrainian Church service.
There are many, many religions and I’m not here to debate the ins and outs of any of them, nor am I going to debate the issue of God, I’m just going to tell you about how I felt last night, and how my belief in God was renewed in me once again.
I did the mechanical work (plumbing and heating) in a huge Mennonite church/school/hall combination building. It was way to big of a job for a small company like mine, but they couldn’t even get a quote from another contractor so they said they were okay with how long it would take me to do the job as long as I would commit to doing it. Well, I did it, and it turned out way better than I expected! That was two years ago. We were invited to the opening service in July of 2015 but it was the same weekend as our family reunion. We then got an invitation to their Christmas concert last December, but it was near blizzard conditions that night so we didn’t go. And we got an invitation to the Christmas concert this year, so last night braving the -32C temp, Bubba and I got in the car and drove the 45 minutes out to the new building. The only thing that would make you feel like you were in a Church was the rows of pews. There are no pictures, no icons, no crosses, nothing except hymnals on each pew. There is no organ or piano, no musical instrument, just the sound system.
For the next 2 hours, we were treated to singing and story telling by the school kids. It sent tingles down my spine. Every single child from the school participated. The kids up to senior high did their best, singing out as loud as they could with smiles on their faces about the coming birth of our Savior. The high school students put on a performance that rivalled any choir that I’ve heard. And all of it done acapella! It was simply amazing and moving to see and hear these kids profess their faith in the Lord.
So if you’re wondering about Christmas, wondering about God, wondering what the Holy Trinity can do for you, you don’t have to believe me, just go attend one of your area school Christmas concerts, you’ll see and experience faith at it’s purest level…..
I was born, baptized, and raised Roman Catholic. I believe in God, I believe it was God who played the biggest role in me getting sober. But I don’t attend any Church services, I don’t need a Church to believe in God. Bubba was born, baptized, and raised Ukrainian Catholic. She has a stronger faith in God than I do. She takes our 94 year old widowed next door neighbour to the Anglican Church every Sunday. She rarely goes to a Ukrainian Church service.
There are many, many religions and I’m not here to debate the ins and outs of any of them, nor am I going to debate the issue of God, I’m just going to tell you about how I felt last night, and how my belief in God was renewed in me once again.
I did the mechanical work (plumbing and heating) in a huge Mennonite church/school/hall combination building. It was way to big of a job for a small company like mine, but they couldn’t even get a quote from another contractor so they said they were okay with how long it would take me to do the job as long as I would commit to doing it. Well, I did it, and it turned out way better than I expected! That was two years ago. We were invited to the opening service in July of 2015 but it was the same weekend as our family reunion. We then got an invitation to their Christmas concert last December, but it was near blizzard conditions that night so we didn’t go. And we got an invitation to the Christmas concert this year, so last night braving the -32C temp, Bubba and I got in the car and drove the 45 minutes out to the new building. The only thing that would make you feel like you were in a Church was the rows of pews. There are no pictures, no icons, no crosses, nothing except hymnals on each pew. There is no organ or piano, no musical instrument, just the sound system.
For the next 2 hours, we were treated to singing and story telling by the school kids. It sent tingles down my spine. Every single child from the school participated. The kids up to senior high did their best, singing out as loud as they could with smiles on their faces about the coming birth of our Savior. The high school students put on a performance that rivalled any choir that I’ve heard. And all of it done acapella! It was simply amazing and moving to see and hear these kids profess their faith in the Lord.
So if you’re wondering about Christmas, wondering about God, wondering what the Holy Trinity can do for you, you don’t have to believe me, just go attend one of your area school Christmas concerts, you’ll see and experience faith at it’s purest level…..
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
