Gottalife

Hi Danshu, going on day 9, should be past the worst of the physical stuff. I wondered what it means to be a confirmed athiest. Does that mean the mind is closed to all spiritual concepts, or is it open to some ideas if they are backed with evidence you can see and feel?

It is just that AA has a spiritual solution, that it didn't invent, that has been working in peoples lives for centuries. For it to work requires an open mind.

This came into my mind as I was pondering your dilemna with family. A) they want you to drink responsibly, and B) they don't want you to behave like you did last weekend (which was probably not a first). How many times have you tried option A). Is there any evidence to suggest that it will ever work? Could you guarantee everytime to meet the required standard in option B?

If you are like me, these "demands" are impossible to meet so the reality is that moderation is off the table, it is unworkable.

That only leaves two alternatives (in AA terms) lead a spiritual life (which I have found to be a pretty liberating way of life) or face an alcoholic death.

AA use the term spiritual because its method of sobriety is a way of life, not a stop drinking therapy. It is effective because the principles employed bring about a very satisfying and rewarding existence which in turn provides the motivation for sustained sobriety. It goes a whole lot further than mere abstinence.

I guess you could reword it to find a satisfying life or face an alcoholic death.

I might place these two options before your wife and ask her what you should chose.

Algorithm

With sustained abstinence, she will see your true character, and trust will probably return. You will have to do what is in your better judgment, though, and abstain despite lack of support.

gleefan

Danshu - Nice job on 9 days.

People who were initially disappointed in my sobriety got over it. Any kinks worked themselves out with sober time.

Now is the time to focus on yourself. AA has been super helpful to me. Early on it was a relief to be around other nondrinkers with lasting sobriety who knew how hard it was to quit.

danshu

Head still a bit fuzzy and face still flushed, but stomach a lot less sensitive than it was even a week ago (I can drink black coffee now without heartburn, yay!), and, oddly, less sneezing. Body definitely feeling better overall.

I'm open to spirituality in the sense of a humanistic "how to be nice and happy." Not open to anything that depends on believing in a sentient or purposive creator. Took too many hard science classes in my impressionable youth for that to take hold now. Not to disparage or discourage those who are more open-minded about the subject, just know that it won't work for me.

Likewise, I came to the same conclusion. I tried that experiment before. and failed. It might work for someone else, but it won't work for me.

That formulation works for me!

At the moment, she is more willing to let me try, so some progress there. Don't think she believes it will really change anything, but only time will tell.

danshu

Hope so.

Yes, I think you are right.

danshu

Yes, I am thinking that would be a nice thing about AA, even if I can't buy into the whole cosmology.

Day 9.