Gigi32158

I think this time I may have really learned my lesson to stay sober. I got serious about sobriety March 2015. My 38 year old son was diagnosed with cirrhosis and could not stop drinking. Along with that he was also diagnosed with Wenicke-Korsakoff syndrome (wet brain). I was totally unaware how damaging that alcohol really is! I began researching alcoholism and wet brain trying to understand and became obsessed with all of the information I was reading. Then I started thinking about my own use not even thinking that i could possibly be addicted myself.

I drank wine daily and i drank a lot! But I am very successful, hold down a good job, maintain my home, have a decent marriage and drink a lot of wine. So I decided to put myself to the test and try to quit. Well what I experienced was way more that what I was prepared for. And it scared me. I quit for 3 months and the withdrawals that time were enough to make me realize that I have a problem. So I started again. You know, moderation, yeh right!! Well within a month I was back to where I started and all this time knowing "I have a problem".

To make a long story short I stopped and started several times over the last year and half and each time my withdraws get a little worse and worse. My son passed away this past March. I held his hand thru his last breath. He just couldn't give up the alcohol. I then understood what a debilitating disease alcoholism is. I truly understand how hard it is to give it up. I quit for a month and then go out for dinner and have a glass of wine which turns in to 3,4,5???? and boy do I pay for it the next days. My AV voice keeps telling me it will be different this time. This last hangover was the worst I have ever had! I am still paying the price for it. Anxiety was horrible this time! Fatigue, the don't want to's, racing heart, chills, aches, and on and on. And that was from 3 nights of drinking after being sober for 3 weeks. I fully understand the kindling effect. I am feeling much better now but this one was a real eye opener. I am an alcoholic. Blood work next week.

I have been under a lot of stress as I also have a daughter that is addicted to pills and is in a lot of trouble right now. I am going for custody of my grandson.

I am considering AA but don't want to take a chance right now during this custody thing. I also need Al-Anon. I do not talk to my husband about this because I am really embarrassed that I have allowed myself to get in this situation and I don't know if he would be supportive or not. I feel like I have disappointed him. So I use SR. This is all I have right now and I am convinced that my drinking career is over! I understand that relapse is part of recovery and boy do I know it!

This sight has been a life saver and very informative while I was doing my research not even at that time knowing I had a problem myself!! Thanks to all for sharing !!

waynetheking

Hang in there gig in. Just don't drink. It will get better. We're here for ya.

Stellar45

My wife and I are in the process of adopting our grandson. I am sober today for me but when I'm feeling challenged by temptation or a stressful situation at work, all I do is think of him and I get a lift, enough inspiration to pull me through. Our grandchildren deserve sober grandparents. 17 days is a great start! You can do it!