SnazzyDresser

I definitely have some growing up left to do here in my early 50s. I could be dead before long, and then it'll be too late!

Gilmer

I have no clue why, but since this morning I have been unable to use the "thanks" button on this thread. No other thread is affected--just this one!

I have buckled down and gotten a big chunk done of my homework. It has been looming over me, and I had been cowering in the corner.

My equilibrium is always restored when I bite the bullet and act before my brain has time to make excuses. Any small step taken toward a goal builds momentum for more steps.

I handled situations poorly on two occasions this week. I should have followed one course, but knee-jerked and did the wrong things.

I've been tempted to panic in anticipation of the bad results, but I reasoned with myself and assured myself that neither thing was the end of the world. I had to wrestle my thoughts to the mat!

As it turned out, I was able to rescue one situation--and in the other case I discovered that a package was delivered amazingly quickly and the recipient is satisfied, so there is no longer any reason to
second-guess my shipping method.

So two of my errors in judgment turned out to be no big deal. I'm so glad I didn't let myself get hysterical.

I find this verse very useful, even when there are no angry rulers involved:

"If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your post, for calmness will lay great errors to rest" (Ecclesiastes 10:4).

Delizadee

Sitting on the emotional immaturity list.

Trying to find my way off.

I really like what you said Gilmer. My forays into sobriety have taught me that patience and calm get me a lot further than angry tantrums and oh woe is me speeches.

I've seen it happen firsthand too, right moves can make themselves some times and wrong moves can right themselves at times.

I struggle with seeing things through til the end and speaking up for myself. I don't have a lot of motivation unless I'm totally under pressure.

I've had a pretty bad week and a half. I wonder how I can turn that around because I'm tired of being kicked by life's circumstances. So what of I can't afford to live! At least the sun is shining lol

Gilmer

So now my thanks button is working--for every post but the one above by Sober'sBest! Don't ask me why! It's certainly nothing personal!

But when I try to thank that post it automatically resets the page!

Go figure! Sorry, SB!

GroundhogDay

Thanks for the book recommendation, jazzfish. I have the problem of thinking too slowly and figuring out the best thing to say after I have said something stupid.

GroundhogDay

I had the exact same problem with that post. Some technical issue I guess.

GroundhogDay

From what I have read, we can be happier by using emotional maturity to better set and reach goals. I sometimes give up on setting goals knowing that at some point I will shoot myself in the foot by saying the wrong thing or acting the wrong way.

GroundhogDay

GroundhogDay

My "emotional maturity" accomplishment for today was to reach out to a colleague for his expertise and advice as a way of building trust between us. My work was criticized by this person in front of others. To reach my goal of good, productive relationships with all of my co-workers, I need to focus on getting the feedback I need regardless of how I feel about it or how it is conveyed.

It went very well and I feel that there is more trust and respect between us now.

GroundhogDay

lol, but seriously, we should grow throughout our life. I do sometimes feel I am a slow learner when it comes to emotional maturity.

GroundhogDay

You are way ahead of me.

Gilmer

That was good. He probably felt pleased and honored that you sought his wisdom--and he'll probably be less likely to criticize you in the future because it's HIS advice you're taking!

BrendaChenowyth

I am learning that the more I learn, the less I know.

I have let myself off the hook for so many of the problems I used to think I had.

The world does not revolve around me. Thank God.

BrendaChenowyth

I had a situation at work where I had personal and professional issues with someone I had to deal with. I was having a very difficult time separating my feelings for him from everything else I had to do.

I realized I had created a lot of the drama in my mind. When I look at just the facts of what happened, the experience shared by everyone involved, not just the emotional experience I have had because of it, the appropriate course of action is more clear.

I also find myself holding back A LOT more, in terms of talking about my feelings. They may or may not be justified. They may or may not be helpful, considerate, warranted or wanted by others. Those others may not be in an emotional position to hear my concerns, they may not have any power to "fix" what I'm asking them to fix, there may not be anything real to fix!

Hold back and wait and see if when the feelings level off a little bit, things don't become a little more clear and straight forward. Make decisions from a calm place.

BrendaChenowyth

That said, my day was okay, just really long. I am finding out that in the absence of imagined drama, time flows at the normal pace it is supposed to... but of course this feel comparatively slow!! So my day was exhausting.. I had a falling out with the person I mentioned about ten days ago, and this afternoon was the first interaction with him since. It was emotionally uncharged, it was wonderful, and yet somehow emotionally draining at the same time. Immediately following that I got a call from a debt collector I had been avoiding for a while and decided to answer and we set up monthly payments. Headache, but YAY BIG GIRL PANTS! So then I got home and got a tuition statement. Just a statement. It's not due for a month. All I have to do is take some forms in tomorrow and get my financial aide squared away. I have a month. School starts in two months. I had an attack of real anxiety, not about school, about the idea that I might have to pay this amount out of pocket when I actually really won't.. my thoughts spiraled, for no reason. It was wild. I'm still revving down.

And barely paying attention to Grey's Anatomy. You know there was a time I could get sucked in to television shows, like I got super obsessed with Breaking Bad, and I used to get drunk to watch The Walking Dead and CRY when people died. Emotional maturity? I don't really think about TWD coming up until hours before it comes on, and I can watch it and not feel emotional. Entertained, yeah!! Because I don't need the emotional escape, it's just enjoyable, and then life goes on.

GroundhogDay

Brenda, thanks for the share. Good job on setting up the monthly payments.

It is always a challenge for me to figure out who and when to risk discussing my emotions with. Sometimes even family isn't safe.

BrendaChenowyth

Yeah, I would say the times that it serves you to open up are the times a) that person really understands, like another person in recovery, or b) that person is the only one that can affect a change in a situation that needs to change.

Otherwise I think it's all gossip, drama, so forth.

Gilmer

Really good post, Brenda.

GroundhogDay

More of the same today. Reached out to some colleagues I haven't worked with before. Perhaps something more interesting will happen next week.

BrendaChenowyth

Dealt with Financial Aid process hiccups with virtually no anxiety or negativity. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is a problem, there is a solution. Nothing to get excited about.


My old attitude when dealing with this stuff, for the record, and I quote: "Every time I try to do something with this stupid financial aid, I have these ****ing problems!!!"