steve-in-kville

This is really odd. I've struggled with depression before, albeit when I was drinking every day. This past weekend was quite trying for me. Sunday afternoon/evening was perhaps the worst since becoming sober. Its not that I was down in the dumps, but I really wasn't happy either. I felt rather flat.... like I just didn't care anymore.

I think a lack of exercise may have contributed to it. I also let my diet go... munching on all sorts of stuff I really shouldn't have. I rode to work this morning and felt a lot better, but now I'm at home and its like its starting all over again. I want to fit a run in at some point later before it gets dark.

Like many of us here, I have a lot going for me and I still have my struggles (money, rebuilding trust, etc). Any ideas on coping with this? I think I just need to refocus or something.

graciepearl

I've seen a lot of posts about PAWS and the cycles associated with early sobriety. Hang in there and someone more knowledgeable that me can give you more info. I went through the same thing.

steve-in-kville

Maybe I really underestimated PAWS, but I'm seven weeks into this...

Bobbieka

I'm on 148 days. I still have those days if I am not diligent. It's like I can feel the depression lurking, waiting for me to let it get a grip again. Then, I do what you are doing, recheck my diet, make sure I get my runs in everyday. Running for me is important. Keeps me sane. Sounds like it might be for you. Hugs, Steve.

ScottFromWI

I think exercise and diet have a lot to do with energy levels. Getting enough sleep is important too.

It's also important to remember that even the healthiest, most fit person on the planet is going to have "off" days. Our addictive mind wants instant gratification and tries to tell us that something is wrong with us because we have a bad day. There's nothing wrong with it, in fact it would be abnormal if we all felt upbeat/happy/untired all the time!

doggonecarl

I don't think it's unusual in a seven week span to have a down day or two, and I don't mean those of us in recovery. I heard that even "normies" get down in the dumps occasionally.

I'm old enough to remember biorhythms and the cyclical nature of one's physical, emotional, and intellectual well being make perfect sense to me. Don't feel bad about feeling "bad." It will most likely pass. If it doesn't, it could be something more serious.

Fluffer

Yes, I think you may be underestimating PAWS. It can last up to two years, I'm afraid.

steve-in-kville

I'm doing really good on sleep. I'm getting about 7 hours or better per night. I was doing really well with my diet, but this past weekend I had a lot of refined sugars (sweets!) and that didn't help.

I had a three-day weekend and really didn't do a lot. I relaxed and that was trend for the entire weekend.

ScottFromWI

Lots of refined sugar + no exercise almost always equals feeling bad/crashing/etc.

entropy1964

Weird huh? Feelings, or no feelings. I drank to feel and not to feel. Moods? What are those? Riding them out? What's that? It's common for me to go 60-90 days without drinking. Then I lose my new car smell and think, what's wrong with me? Guess I'll drink. Then I spend a whole bunch of time dealing with the physical and emotional wreckage of my drinking. Crisis management, my especiality!

So, for me, feeling up, down or nothing at times? Totally normal . And as soon as I figure out my feelings? They change! What's up with that?

Sorry babbling. And yes, exercise helps tons. Meditation, prayer communing with other addicts helps tons.

steve-in-kville

Thanks, guys!

FBL

Finding the right balance of diet, exercise and sleep is key.

waynetheking

Steve it will get better. But it takes a while. For me around 18-24 months. I hated feeling that way. But as time goes on, it's less frequent. Just don't drink. Time will heal this. Always does.

steve-in-kville

Oh dear....

sugarbear1

When I got sober, things were horrible (what goes up must come down?) and I felt extrememly low low low....then I started to feel good, but then it all plateaued and everything was really flat.....after that, I began to see more and more light and life opened up. It took some time being sober and it took time to look at me and change some behaviors and patterns....

I suggest you relax and know things will keep changing!! Stay strong, stay sober and keep moving forward!

BrendaChenowyth

My two cents...

1.) I have experienced those flat moments and it turns out, the absence of emotions is just as much of a drinking trigger as high emotions can be!

We're learning that in life there will always be ebbs and flows, times of high drama and times of boredom and we want to be able to navigate all this without the crutch of alcohol because these states are never going anywhere.

2.) I don't know about blaming what you're currently feeling on PAWS.

I take care of a 90 year old with dementia and today she said this and I had to laugh.. "It's not always gonna be roses! That's life!" I adore that little feisty Italian. And agree with her 100%.

zjw

Yeah sometimes life is blah and dull. I agree it can be a trigger let's liven this up etc.. our AV thinks. It bothered me a lot when life was like this now I try and remind myself I could be putting out life's fires or something too maybe I'll just try to enjoy some flat dull moments.

Quincy

I've been feeling "flat" lately also. I think in part it is because the days are getting shorter and colder so it may be a mild case of "cabin fever". I like the notion and need to remind myself that it is okay to feel flat, sad, bored, etc.

In a mindful meditation class we were taught to not try and necessarily change these emotions, but to be mindful of how it feels to be flat, sad, bored, etc., which somehow makes one more comfortable with these emotions.