To all the "I'm back" posters
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
This made me feel like crap. I just posted an "I'm Back" and didn't find this helpful at all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by soberlicious 
I'm sorry you feel like crap, but you don't need to. As Eleanor said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Did you read the entire thread? I think there's a lot of good stuff in here, even if some of it can be rather uncomfortable to read.
Rule of thumb: take what you find helpful and apply it and leave the rest. Harder to do than it sounds, but really know you are NOT in the minority here. I dont know how many times I failed, and honestly I learned something from each failed attempt. Now that doesnt mean go ahead and fail every time because your fall back plan is to learn from it lol. Just keep learning each time and apply something new each time because the last one didnt work.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by jryan19982
Like I said, very few get it the first time. If we all got it the first time, this site would likely not be here.
Rule of thumb: take what you find helpful and apply it and leave the rest. Harder to do than it sounds, but really know you are NOT in the minority here. I dont know how many times I failed, and honestly I learned something from each failed attempt. Now that doesnt mean go ahead and fail every time because your fall back plan is to learn from it lol. Just keep learning each time and apply something new each time because the last one didnt work.
Rule of thumb: take what you find helpful and apply it and leave the rest. Harder to do than it sounds, but really know you are NOT in the minority here. I dont know how many times I failed, and honestly I learned something from each failed attempt. Now that doesnt mean go ahead and fail every time because your fall back plan is to learn from it lol. Just keep learning each time and apply something new each time because the last one didnt work.
Every journey is an individual one and there's no need for generalizations either. Most make so many failed attempts and there will always have to be room for another comeback. People relapse after decades too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
This made me feel like crap. I just posted an "I'm Back" and didn't find this helpful at all.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 273
Addiction is cyclical. That's part of what makes it addiction. I don't think going on a website is rock bottom. Actually I think it's the easiest and first thing to do when you suspect you have a problem.
Drugs are dangerous and change your brain. The only way to heal your brain is to be off of them for a long time. It really doesn't have much to do with your personality or who you are. The more humans learned to make drugs potent and 'pure', the more addicts were made. For any addict to escape their addiction, a major effort of life-altering proportions has to be made.
All that to say... this is just a website. I have only ever used it to remind myself how dangerous alcohol is. I often do not post for weeks or months. The only real progress can come from lifestyle and attitude change, and a willingness to endure initial cravings. Every time those cravings go away, we think it's safe to just have a little. And little by little we find ourselves where we started. That's why it's addiction and not just a phase.
I don't think you meant to be mean, but all the people feeling humiliated and trying to understand why they can't control themselves are not going to be helped by someone who is saying that's weak. They already feel weak.
Drugs are dangerous and change your brain. The only way to heal your brain is to be off of them for a long time. It really doesn't have much to do with your personality or who you are. The more humans learned to make drugs potent and 'pure', the more addicts were made. For any addict to escape their addiction, a major effort of life-altering proportions has to be made.
All that to say... this is just a website. I have only ever used it to remind myself how dangerous alcohol is. I often do not post for weeks or months. The only real progress can come from lifestyle and attitude change, and a willingness to endure initial cravings. Every time those cravings go away, we think it's safe to just have a little. And little by little we find ourselves where we started. That's why it's addiction and not just a phase.
I don't think you meant to be mean, but all the people feeling humiliated and trying to understand why they can't control themselves are not going to be helped by someone who is saying that's weak. They already feel weak.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm always thrilled to see people come back, Optimist
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There's sometimes an aside: 'got a plan happening?' / 'going to review your earlier plan?' No hassling, no stern admonishments, just a seemingly casual reminder that can cut through the inevitable post-relapse murk.
I usually sighed inwardly - 'oh no! not more ***** WORK!' - but of course, it's the most sensible, and indeed, practical advice, as I know now after several years of on / off / in / out.
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