How long did it take you to stop thinking about alcohol?
For me it comes and goes.
Sometimes I will go days without thinking about alcohol at all, but then there will other days when I think about it and it just makes me very anxious.
I do remember the days when it seemed like all I could think about tho.
Like you hinted at in the original post, just constantly thinking about when you can get the next drink.
Sometimes I will go days without thinking about alcohol at all, but then there will other days when I think about it and it just makes me very anxious.
I do remember the days when it seemed like all I could think about tho.
Like you hinted at in the original post, just constantly thinking about when you can get the next drink.
Thank you so much for all of your responses. There's definitely a theme emerging about needing to 100% accept that you are never going to drink again in order to stop alcohol taking up so much headspace. That makes a lot of sense - and to be honest, it's not something I have completely done yet.
If I could flick a switch and truly believe that I am never going to be able to moderate, I would flick that switch. And believe me, there is PLENTY of evidence that I cannot moderate and that alcohol is a bad influence in my life. But there's a difference between knowing that intellectually and actually processing it deep inside.
I've told myself that I am definitely stopping for a year, because "forever" is so overwhelming and I would feel like I was lying to myself if I said today that I'll definitely never drink again. My priority in early sobriety is literally to get to the end of each day without picking up a drink, and my hope is that if I can do that for a year, I will then be strong enough at the end of that year to say "forever".
But I'm beginning to realise that the disadvantage of my "one year, then assess" approach is that while future drinking is still on the table, the thoughts are going to keep coming...
I did not have one specific event that was a terrible "rock bottom". I've been very lucky in that I still have a partner who loves me, a roof over my head and work coming in. I am trying to stop because I know that if I continue down that path, there is a good chance that alcohol will take those things away from me. Terrible things have happened as a direct result of my drinking, but I've mainly "got away" with it without any long term consequences. I'm grateful for this, but it does perhaps make it that bit harder to 100% shut the door on alcohol.
Thanks again for reading.
If I could flick a switch and truly believe that I am never going to be able to moderate, I would flick that switch. And believe me, there is PLENTY of evidence that I cannot moderate and that alcohol is a bad influence in my life. But there's a difference between knowing that intellectually and actually processing it deep inside.
I've told myself that I am definitely stopping for a year, because "forever" is so overwhelming and I would feel like I was lying to myself if I said today that I'll definitely never drink again. My priority in early sobriety is literally to get to the end of each day without picking up a drink, and my hope is that if I can do that for a year, I will then be strong enough at the end of that year to say "forever".
But I'm beginning to realise that the disadvantage of my "one year, then assess" approach is that while future drinking is still on the table, the thoughts are going to keep coming...
I did not have one specific event that was a terrible "rock bottom". I've been very lucky in that I still have a partner who loves me, a roof over my head and work coming in. I am trying to stop because I know that if I continue down that path, there is a good chance that alcohol will take those things away from me. Terrible things have happened as a direct result of my drinking, but I've mainly "got away" with it without any long term consequences. I'm grateful for this, but it does perhaps make it that bit harder to 100% shut the door on alcohol.
Thanks again for reading.
Hi Somesortofhuman,
I can remember the exact time and place when I did what I consider surrendering. I had really struggled for about 3 months. Then one day in one moment I just accepted it. It went something like this: "I'm not normal. I'm never going to be normal. I can drink again but it won't be in control. It will go downhill quickly. I'm done." It was a huge relief. It was the moment I reference in my tag line below. I was freed.
I was a high bottom as well as far as losses but mentally I was shot when I quit. Hadn't lost anything and no legal trouble. Just in hell mentally with anxiety, stress, guilt, and suicidal thoughts. We are the fortunate ones.
After that moment my cravings dropped down immensely and quit altogether around 4 or 5 months. I haven't had a craving since then. I do think about alcohol but it's alcohol recovery thoughts. Not a craving or desire but a gratefullness kind of like Doggonecarl mentioned. If I ever lose that I might be subject to being seduced by thoughts of moderation again. I will take the former any day.
Hang in there. Some day you will feel like a normal person.
I can remember the exact time and place when I did what I consider surrendering. I had really struggled for about 3 months. Then one day in one moment I just accepted it. It went something like this: "I'm not normal. I'm never going to be normal. I can drink again but it won't be in control. It will go downhill quickly. I'm done." It was a huge relief. It was the moment I reference in my tag line below. I was freed.
I was a high bottom as well as far as losses but mentally I was shot when I quit. Hadn't lost anything and no legal trouble. Just in hell mentally with anxiety, stress, guilt, and suicidal thoughts. We are the fortunate ones.
After that moment my cravings dropped down immensely and quit altogether around 4 or 5 months. I haven't had a craving since then. I do think about alcohol but it's alcohol recovery thoughts. Not a craving or desire but a gratefullness kind of like Doggonecarl mentioned. If I ever lose that I might be subject to being seduced by thoughts of moderation again. I will take the former any day.
Hang in there. Some day you will feel like a normal person.
its been several years.. but in the fall I do think of a good Blueberry wine or apple Beer... funny its a thought for a bit.. a taste in the back of my throat and then its gone... my Captain Morgan was my run from life.. never has that come up in flavor memory.. have a bottle that is not opened but evaporating on its own.. just for memory.. feel that if I did do a shot in a coke it would make me sick.. loved working for them in the 1980's.... oh heavens the coffee is getting cold..
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[QUOTE=Mountainmanbob;6187111]I have never entertained the thought of drinking since day one of my sobriety 9 years ago. My wicked bottom left me with no desire.
I'm with MBob on the first part. 249 days ago, I made the decision to quit so now I am sober Day 248. Not to sound like an a**hole, but that was it. Done.
I also understand that I may be unique in that I have had zero physical cravings. None. Coming from a handle of vodka/2 days habit, that is nothing short of a miracle. It would be harder to write the following should I have had to deal with that, I am sure....yet, IME:
I have written on various threads how I think of my alcoholism - my sobriety as my best friend. This is entirely different from thinking of alcohol. Alcohol is just one substance in the world, out of countless others. It got me to where I am now- with my "peculiar gift" of sobriety, and that is a best friend I nurture, love, cherish and tend to every day. So, most of my thoughts are about my sober life, which means about others, and the ways to live my best life as a participant in this big world.
As others say, simply being done with alcohol is the key. And there is so much more out there, and I am awake and aware for it. I notice the huge change and so does just about everyone else who encounters me, whether they know the "why" of that or not.
I'm with MBob on the first part. 249 days ago, I made the decision to quit so now I am sober Day 248. Not to sound like an a**hole, but that was it. Done.
I also understand that I may be unique in that I have had zero physical cravings. None. Coming from a handle of vodka/2 days habit, that is nothing short of a miracle. It would be harder to write the following should I have had to deal with that, I am sure....yet, IME:
I have written on various threads how I think of my alcoholism - my sobriety as my best friend. This is entirely different from thinking of alcohol. Alcohol is just one substance in the world, out of countless others. It got me to where I am now- with my "peculiar gift" of sobriety, and that is a best friend I nurture, love, cherish and tend to every day. So, most of my thoughts are about my sober life, which means about others, and the ways to live my best life as a participant in this big world.
As others say, simply being done with alcohol is the key. And there is so much more out there, and I am awake and aware for it. I notice the huge change and so does just about everyone else who encounters me, whether they know the "why" of that or not.
It was less and less as time went on. I do AA and started the steps at 2 months sober. I still had some thoughts of drinking around 6 months..but I was not OBSESSING over it, at 8 months less thoughts and so on and so forth. At 12 months they were pretty much GONE. But I was also working the steps. After getting into my 9th step at around 13 months sober I stopped being tempted or thinking about alcohol. Every once in a great while a thought crosses my mind. But it no longer holds any power over me. I don't think about drinking...and I don't think about NOT drinking. I'm too busy living life after years of slowly dying...young and isolated....drinking on my couch.
Sobriety is the best gift I have ever received. Please stick with this. One day, if you work the 12 steps of recovery, you will be FREE from the chains of your addiction. It has been so with me.
Sobriety is the best gift I have ever received. Please stick with this. One day, if you work the 12 steps of recovery, you will be FREE from the chains of your addiction. It has been so with me.
If I could flick a switch and truly believe that I am never going to be able to moderate, I would flick that switch. And believe me, there is PLENTY of evidence that I cannot moderate and that alcohol is a bad influence in my life. But there's a difference between knowing that intellectually and actually processing it deep inside.
I made a permanent decision to listen to and follow only the rational part of me, that does indeed know what's best for me, and ignore that part of me that wants to believe fantasies about drinking.
Since doing that, thoughts of drinking arise rarely and only for a moment.
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I've told myself that I am definitely stopping for a year, because "forever" is so overwhelming and I would feel like I was lying to myself if I said today that I'll definitely never drink again. My priority in early sobriety is literally to get to the end of each day without picking up a drink, and my hope is that if I can do that for a year, I will then be strong enough at the end of that year to say "forever".
But I'm beginning to realise that the disadvantage of my "one year, then assess" approach is that while future drinking is still on the table, the thoughts are going to keep coming...
But I'm beginning to realise that the disadvantage of my "one year, then assess" approach is that while future drinking is still on the table, the thoughts are going to keep coming...
I found that ONLY after I removed drinking as an option permanently and forever could I begin to live in a new way. Everything else was just holding off 'for now' or working toward the next drink.
Personally, I believe there must be a part of you that wants it enough to do whatever it takes to wipe it completely off the table. No more alcohol under any circumstances.
And the wise, intelligent part of you knows that's the best choice. The 'AV' is just throwing its tantrum and convincing the real you to have these contingency plans in hopes there's the possibility of another drink somewhere down the road.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 59
I cut back drinking about 18 months ago, and was drinking at almost moderate levels when I had some physical symptoms and quit about two months ago. I still think about drinking a lot, and often say to myself : "One day, I will drink again. But that day is not today." Sort of a cynical way of saying "one day at a time" maybe. But It's a way of not lying to myself, and it seems to work for me. Maybe, over time, I'll slowly stop thinking about drinking and one day it will be unnecessary to say at all.
I've been pretty lucky with regards to thoughts of alcohol and cravings. 5 months in, they haven't really been much of a problem since the first week or so. Some of that might be benefits from a previous 75 day sober stretch earlier in the year where I'd established some new habits and a new sense of normal.
Not that it's always easy now, it's not at all. It's just not dominating my thoughts.
Not that it's always easy now, it's not at all. It's just not dominating my thoughts.
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