mpr

I was pretty good with not drinking etc.. moderating until my ex broke up with me. I went downhill for awhile but leveled out. Anyhow we got back together and I feel like since then it has made me worse, she drinks normally but albeit a lot here and there so i follow suite and in turn drink also.

I feel like I am losing myself by being with her. Anyhow I drank way too much last night and lost what I think was maybe 2000-3000 cash and just feel horrible. Gonna get back on this sober thing and see if the relationship works but I just really feel horrible losing so much money. I had what I think was 5-6000 cash and stupidly grabbed it and came home with only 3100 and I did not spend it, either I lost it, it fell, gf actually briefly had it but she would never steal from me. Just wanted to vent. Thanks guys.

Dee74

I'm sorry for the loss of the cash, but I'm glad to see you back mpr.

D

mpr

Thank you Dee, I appreciate it. I guess more than anything I upset over the cash which is ********, I drove drunk and I guess those ramifications should I have been caught would have been worse. I still came home with some money so losing it seems odd. I did not count my cash in awhile but I am sure I had more, weird...

tomsteve

its not ********( might be a word ya want to work at not using).
its sick- sick to be more concerned about cash over possibly killing someone while driving drunk.
do you want to focus on the cash here or your problem with alcohol?

theVman31

possibly killing someone while driving drunk....
They are hard words from tom Steve but....

During the last years of my addictions, since becoming a dad, this was my biggest fear, i didnt care about being caught either, there were times i nearly hoped i was caught. I used to buy the local paper. ... never knew if the police were going to knock on the door. Its a feeling I never want to have again.

Imagine it !!!

ScottFromWI

Welcome back MPR. Sorry you've lost your money, we've all had some pretty bad things happen to us when we were drunk.

I'd agree with some of the others here that if you really want to solve this you are going to need to take sobriety seriously. Moderation is not an option, as you've seen again now with this last incident.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Mpr!!

dox

.

That's a lot of money to lose, mpr.

But, is your drinking costing you more than money?

.

mpr

Yes it is and I've identified that and am going to avoid drinking at this point, just is not worth it. I am just upset losing that amount of money and feel so bad now.

ScottFromWI

I would imagine you feel bad, that's a lot of money. Perhaps you will find out more about what happened in the future or it might turn up somewhere.

We are all generally pretty raw after bad things happen during a blackout - sometimes it's even the things we don't remember having happen that are even worse. Regardless, there's nothing you can do at this point other than focus on staying sober so it doesn't happen again, right?

mpr

Yes you are right, I can't change what has happened. Just the thought of losing so much makes me feel sick though.

LadyBug66

Yikes! I have done that but not with that amount of money. Maybe a couple hundred dollars is the most I have lost. When I was drinking crazy first thing I would do in the morning was check my purse and see if I still had my debit and credit cards! (and also my phone to see if I texted someone or posted something stupid on social media!) I hope your money shows back up!

mpr

I hope so too, feel sick to my stomach. It is my fault but I kinda blame my gf cause I left the money at home but she grabbed it when we left and I only found out after. She gave me it back but obviously she dropped/lost some... It is ultimately my fault though.

LadyBug66

Not that it's any of my business but why did she grab that much money?

mpr

No good reason, she was drunk. When we left she gave it to me and I was shocked she had brought it. I assumed it was all there, it was only after getting home later I realized I was missing so much.

waynetheking

Nobody is in their right state of mind while being drunk. It's time to quit.
Welcome back mpr.
Sobriety will treat you better.

Hevyn

It's good to have you back mpr. Please keep posting - you don't want to lose control of your life again. Every time I drank dangerous things happened. It's great to be free of it.

mpr

Thanks guys, I will continue to post. Just hate this feeling I've got in my stomach over the lost funds.

Fluffer

Maybe you should consider not having so much cash around your home, especially if you are still drinking and getting into situations? Why not put it in the bank or somewhere safe?

mpr

I had some rental income and just did not deposit it yet, I was going to and normally do but just got sidetracked with things. Regardless of who took it out etc.. It was my responsibility and I screwed up.