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A real life encouragement

Old 10-25-2016, 01:59 PM
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A real life encouragement

Had yet another dr appt today as I must be a masochist, I keep up on things instead of ignoring them. So as I had a lot of female problems these last two years I was there again for the millionth time at the office. Goodbye sanity and goodbye money. So the lady was asking me about the last year and everything and was saying that it was a huge thing to have quit drinking, and I was just saying well it never should have happened anyway so. But she kept insisting it was a huge achievement. Ok, that was actually really nice to hear. And then she asked why I quit and I kept saying it was time, it quit me, I had withdrawals and I could not take them anymore so it had to happen, my body couldn't take it. I had to tell her it wasn't my first time trying to quit. Guess I finally turned "trying" into "doing". but she was like "But why did you quit?" Like as if she just couldn't believe it or something, she kept saying how hard a thing it is to do. She must have just been trying to make me feel good. We talked about the benzos too. She said,"Congratulations" before I left. Well that was nice of her.

I mean I feel great about that it was all really nice.

But honestly, if anyone had ever said "Sleepie, you have achieved a really difficult thing in surviving an abusive family, surviving abusive peers and teachers, and congratulations on holding it down despite some pretty serious and life impacting anxiety. It's also kind of a big deal that you had to go no contact with your family and that is not easy thing to have to do, and be pretty much entirely on your own in all ways"...I'm fairly certain I never would have drank to begin with.

It has always struck me that people will relate to and empathize with an easily accessible problem like alcoholism but not so much a messed up abusive situation, nobody wants to hear it. But once you become a big mess and pull yourself out people are ready to congratulate.

Humans. They're backwards.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice t hear all that stuff from the nurse. But, I think abut these things.
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Old 10-25-2016, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by sleepie View Post
But once you become a big mess and pull yourself out people are ready to congratulate.
This is really uplifting to hear!

People can be nice when it comes to us recovering addicts!
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Old 10-25-2016, 02:55 PM
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You have a fine sense of humor, sleepie! Quite dry, the best kind.
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Old 10-25-2016, 03:01 PM
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I also lost weight.
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Old 10-25-2016, 03:41 PM
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"Sleepie, you have achieved a really difficult thing in surviving an abusive family, surviving abusive peers and teachers, and congratulations on holding it down despite some pretty serious and life impacting anxiety. It's also kind of a big deal that you had to go no contact with your family and that is not easy thing to have to do, and be pretty much entirely on your own in all ways"...I'm fairly certain I never would have drank to begin with
The good thing is I've seen lots of people say this to you here Sleepie - without being forced to or without saying it for the sake of saying it. They mean it

Thank heavens the rest of our life doesn't have to be like whats gone before

D
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Old 10-25-2016, 03:53 PM
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I'm talking about real life Dee and I'm talking about pre- drinking days. I feel it would be really condescending to explain that but the mods usually seem to take everything as if I can only be referencing SR folks when I talk about my life and then I get yelled at. Not so much by you but it has happened and I know it was meant to hurt me.

I can add "I am talking about real life" to my posts, but it makes me feel really condescending which I am not comfortable with.
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:16 PM
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thats good that someone in real life said these things. It should make you feel good.

But honestly, if anyone had ever said "Sleepie, you have achieved a really difficult thing in surviving an abusive family, surviving abusive peers and teachers, and congratulations on holding it down despite some pretty serious and life impacting anxiety. It's also kind of a big deal that you had to go no contact with your family and that is not easy thing to have to do, and be pretty much entirely on your own in all ways"...I'm fairly certain I never would have drank to begin with.

It has always struck me that people will relate to and empathize with an easily accessible problem like alcoholism but not so much a messed up abusive situation, nobody wants to hear it. But once you become a big mess and pull yourself out people are ready to congratulate.

Humans. They're backwards.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice t hear all that stuff from the nurse. But, I think abut these things.
I dunno i sometimes think real hard before the abuse what was i liek would that person have drank etc.. would that person have been anxious and all? I dunno I htink that person might have been anxious and in my case I think that person also would have probably still liked booze a lot self medicating or not but i know one way or another in my case that person (minus all the abuse and BS) would have been handed a whole different set of probelms and BS to tend too and hence likely could have self medicated with taht too.

BUT i do think if i had parents that "got" me "understood" me etc.. "spoke my language" I think its very possible i could have done ok maybe dabbled and then listened to them if they had said hey dont do that. but I dunno i guess mayhbe i'm reaching for perfection with this idea and i'll never get that.

people are backwards drinking alcohol like crazy is just about socially acceptable but being an alcoholic is not? I'm confused lol. Or a tabacco surcharge on health insurance but no higher premium for pre-existing conditions? or no sur-charge for alchohol use. Or heck we could come up with a surcharge for anything.

Smokeing is more and more becomign not socially acceptable and viewed as gross etc.. but drinking? hey its still ok. Marijuanna is bad needs to be illegal but you can walk into any liquor store and kill yourself with vodka and others if thats your fancy.

Yep we are a backwards bunch i guess. what can you do tho.

Maybe this lady knows first hand how hard it is to quit. I heard one talk about a friend they had who had a problem with drinking too and it was hard for him and rararara and from this person i thought yeah you have no idea none at all !! like shutup now!! lol.

quiting is a big deal tho its not like we can just put it down like its nothing.
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:19 PM
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Had yet another dr appt today as I must be a masochist,
I wonder the same with my running and feet issues this past year do i just like pain? Nope I'm just REALLY REALLY DETERMINED!!

I think thats the issue with you. your just REALLY REALLY determined to nip this all in the bud and get it all worked out.

good for you.
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Old 10-25-2016, 04:59 PM
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Oh, Dr appointments aren't nipping anything but my bank account and patience. I am just trying to stay informed. It irritates me that my BF refuses to see a dr until I force him to. He feels fine he says so therefore he doesn't need to go. Ok then, just go since you have nothing to worry about. Plus it just makes me feel terrible I've gone through hell with all these dr appointments and no emotional support at all from him, just none, and it makes me even more stressed out and alone. But he has issues he just chooses to ignore them. It's infuriating at times I have had to have my " big girl" pants on my whole life since nobody's looking out for me and I've
done all the uncomfortable adult things, while he has been fortunate enough to just act like a teenager his whole, entire life no repercussions. The he gets all stressed out at the first tiny little thing I mean pu leeze I had faced more trauma by the time I was nine than he ever will in his lifetime.

As far as being younger though with a different scenario... Even despite what I lived through, I never drank or did anything until I was near 30 years old. I really did hold out for a long time. Forced "positivity" and never, ever being able to just tell my problems to anyone who could relate finally took a toll.
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Old 10-25-2016, 05:01 PM
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Like I wish there was anyone I could confide in IRL about the sheer hell I've been through with all this female health related stuff. But there isn't. That's where family would come in. But I don't have that.
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Old 10-27-2016, 01:18 AM
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I know you're very caring of others, very empathetic, not slow at standing up for something or someone. I know you're very talented artistically, and you have a determination and a courage that just won't quit.
Dee said that to me last year when I was in the thick of it. I feel like I am still in the thick of it.
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Old 10-27-2016, 04:01 AM
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