Controlled Drinking
 

Hello Forum

My name is Mark, I did an introductory post yesterday in the new members section however I'd like to introduce myself to the alcohol recovery forum as this is the main issue that brought me here.

I'm 27 years old and when I was 14 I was diagnosed with a life-changing medical condition that requires around the clock pain relief.

At 20 I entered an inpatient rehabilitation clinic for the first time where I spent over three months dealing with how to control my pain medication.

At 23 I entered another inpatient rehabilitation clinic for 6 weeks followed by another 3 admissions each lasting two months. All up I have spent nearly a year of my life learning how to 'cope'. I have struggled with addiction and believed that reporting childhood abuse to the police would magically cure me of my need to get 'out of it' - despite a successful prosecution and court case, I find myself again spending days in bed doing nothing but feeling depressed and miserable. Suicide often goes through my mind however I have an amazing partner who supports me through all of it.

In January of this year I began drinking. Alcohol never really appealed to me and in the past I had been able to drink a few drinks and not think twice about not drinking anymore until the next social occasion.

Whether through habit or addiction, I am not yet sure, I began drinking each night in order to relax and well - I don't mind the taste either.

A few months ago I realised that my drinking was becoming an issue. I would need to be sufficiently drunk in order to have other people come around the house and socialise. I'm not talking blind drunk obviously, I just needed a few drinks to calm my anxiety (I have diagnosed Generalised Anxiety Disorder).

Last weekend, my fiancée said to me:

"You're really going to have to cut down on your drinks because we can't afford a bottle of Vodka every two or three days".

It was at this moment I realised that I needed to lift my game. I have had enough of feeling like crap each morning, I'm sick of spending $200+ a week on Vodka and whilst I would not classify myself as an alcoholic- I would agree with the definition of 'pre-alcoholic' (and I genuinely do not know if that is denial, time will tell).

I downloaded a mobile application and keyed in the amount of drinks I had each night over the past week - the results were that I was in the top 5% of drinkers for my age.

I have witnessed my father struggle with alcoholism his entire life. I have seen my mother and grandmother do the same. I have heard them all say on multiple occasions that 'I am never going to drink again' only to see them all go back to the drink a week later.

I'll cut straight to the point - yesterday I made the decision to cut down from my normal amount of 12+ standard drinks per night, to 6 standard drinks. I did it - and it wasn't at all a hassle. After the 6th drink I knew that anymore would be dangerous to my health, expensive and worst of all - against what I told myself I would do.

I woke up this morning feeling really proud of myself, I didn't feel sick and I was proud that I could actually pick a number and stick to it.

I am going to limit myself to 6 standard drinks, measured, each night. If I happen to exceed this number on even one occasion - I will 'declare myself an alcoholic' and go to A.A.

I am writing this post and making it public because I really mean it. I have learned a hell of a lot of coping mechanisms throughout my years of counselling and rehab. What I never learned was self-control and self-discipline.

I know that this approach may not be popular with the forum, but if anybody had tried something like it - I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

Thanks guys and gals.

Aussie89

Hey Aussie,
I can't comment on the concept of moderation as I always failed at it. I could do it for a few days or maybe even a week or two but would always end up at my usual level. Walking away from alcohol completely and forever has been life changing for me. I wish you luck my friend

6 standard drinks, every night, is well beyond the recommended intake for males. Sure, it's better than 12, but it's still excessive. And you WILL develop a tolerance to those 6 drinks and then 6 will become 7, 8, 9....
I've done the controlled drinking thing. It worked, until it didn't. And when it didn't, it became ugly.
If you really want to try controlled drinking, you need a period of abstinence first- why not try 30 days and see how you go?

Well hmmmm. The upside? You're cutting back. The downside? 6 drinks a night is a lot. Probably enough to cause organ damage, anxiety and depression.

I think the MAX number of drinks for a man is 5-7 drinks per WEEK. Not trying to be a buzz kill but that's still a hefty amount for someone who is pre-alcoholic.

Welcome Mark. I'm glad you realize alcohol is a probem and are seeking help. Having said that, controlled or moderated drinking is not a possibility for an alcoholic. And I'd add that drinking 6 drinks at a setting even on one isolated day is considered binge drinking. Doing so every day could be catastrophic for your health, both mental and physical.

Our forum is dedicated to sobriety and you are always welcome, but we cannot condone or support drinking of any amount

Hi Mark

I think most of us have tried this....and we failed.

I know I was rapt to be only drinking a 6 pack a night...so I bought a carton because it was cheaper...I had 8 stubbies the next night but hey, I'd been so good that was ok...

I don't really have to fill in the ending to the story...

I really believe that people without a problem don't have to actively work to control their drinking...and people without a problem don't need to drink a 6 pack every night of the week.

Like Scott said that's binge drinking.

I know none of that is what you wanted to hear but I have to be honest.

D

200 dollars worth of Vodka a week I would think in time would turn anyone alcoholic.

Good thing that you have brought this issue to your minds eye.

M-Bob

Unfortunately I have never seen controlled drinking work work but maybe you will be the first. I believe if you are honest with yourself you already know the only solution

Hello again Mark.
"
I know that this approach may not be popular with the forum, but if anybody had tried something like it - I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions"

I tried it for years. It didnt work.
You can stop now or wait till your 40 like me.

Aussie, I'm glad you wanted to talk about this.

The problem is, once the first drink or two is in our system all our promises tend to go out the window. I tried for years to use willpower to control my drinking. Maybe it could be different for you - but I failed to stick to my plan every single time. I was desperate to not give it up all together - it had been such a huge part of my life. In the end, it was much easier to let it go - and to be free.

This is not controlled drinking. Daily drinking is excessive drinking. Six drinks is more than enough to qualify as a binge. Daily binge drinking is not controlled drinking. I don't know what you want to hear, some kind of pat on the back that you're doing better, but I don't see it that way. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in 54 days. This is the only thing that qualifies as controlling my drinking.

I tried the Moderation technique and it works at first and then your tolerance naturally builds up and it's boring because to get to 'that' place requires more and more... Why do you want to hold on to even 6 standard drinks per day... If you can cut back 50% then you are half way there. I'd love to know how your journey goes... keep posting...

I actually did ok with controlled drinking a few times but, in my case it only stayed controlled for a month or two at the most. Then once again it was back to the pits of drunken despair for many years of added suffering.

Why did I tell myself that, "it will be different this time?" Self deception can have such a mighty hold.

M-Bob

That about sums it up.


For me it always ended up badly.

Perhaps I overstated that one a little, I live in Australia where a bottle of Smirnoff Red 1.12L is $60.00 and rounded it up to 4 a week (which should actually be 3). Anyway, I'm likely just in denial.

I think many of us were at the "I'll just control my drinking" phase with denial of our alcoholism. You possibly may be able to do it for a little while, but it's almost certain you will go straight back to where you were. The best option is to setup a plan to quite completely.

I have friends who have never had an alcohol problem and use controlled drinking methods to make sure they're not putting themselves in danger. It's admirable, really, as much as it can be for someone who chooses to drink.

Can't say I've ever seen it successful in someone recovering from a problem. I myself had always planned to eventually get into controlled drinking, but 75 days in today and my body's recovery is still absolutely haywire. It's moments like that where clarity hits you that you're MONTHS off the poison and still struggling with related health issues, but yet making plans to try and let what destroyed you back into your life. It simply doesn't work.

aussie, you might want to google Moderation Management.


they are all about managed drinking, which is something i tried forever but couldn't do.
even there, though, i think the agreed-upon limit is three drinks.

there is nothing moderate about 6 drinks.

Thank you for your replies everyone.

I had read that to stop cold turkey after drinking everyday can trigger seizures and rarely lethal withdrawal symptoms. This was my reason for cutting down from 12 to 6 (half what I normally drink).

I don't quite understand what people mean when they say they drink to get to 'that place' - is it different for everybody?

I had no idea that 6 drinks was considred binge drinking? I would hate to think that I was binge drinking last night. In Australia a typical beer has 1.5 drinks, does that mean that my brother who has 4 bottles of beer (6 drinks) is a binge drinker?

I'm just really surprised because I thought binge drinkers were those people on the weekend who are falling over themselves and vomitting - I had no idea it was so close to home.

So what is the recommended number of drinks or is it basically as bad as cocaine or heroin? I can't understand why the Government would allow the sale of six packs of beer (let alone cartons).

It has been just over 24 hours since I joined this forum and I already hate alcohol and myself for binge drinking - here I was worried about eating right, adding an extra few kms to my daily run and quitting smoking lol.

We can do math all day long to track spending and number (and oz) of drinks. It's all really beside the point if drinking is a problem.

In AA, we ask ourselves if we are powerless over alcohol, and if our lives have become unmanageable. If yes, we accept step one and begin recovery.

In non-AA terms, here's the version of step one: is drinking causing problems in your life? Emotional, financial, sleep, health, weight, friendships, work - anything? Are you handling your life like you would like and feeling satisfied with how it's going on the whole? Extend this train of thought with other variations on these same questions.

If you answer honestly - and based on what you've shared, I can tell you what the honest answers would be- then you will have in front of you exactly what you need to do. And it's not counting drinks, or dollars; it's quitting or not quitting.

Lots of us, if not all, split so many hairs we probably had none left trying to wrangle our way to justifications for our drinking.

Ultimately, we accepted that there just weren't any legitimate ones. Some of us accepted it before we lost "everything" - some of us had to lose pretty much everything but our lives.

I hope you make the right choice. Good luck.