Controlled Drinking
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
You're right, about a couple things... You don't need it, that's 100% true. You're also absolutely correct when you say you will justify having that one drink and then it will lead to a downhill spiral in very short order.
I used to do this, I would actually reward myself for not drinking.... by drinking. And others on this forum will likely admit to having done this as well.
It took a lot of relapses for me to understand and accept that it would always happen that way.
The one point I would disagree with you on is that 8 days is nothing. You should be proud of that. We don't want to take our sobriety for granted, because we have no guarantee, no matter how many sober days we count up, that any more will follow... but we have to place value on them. 8 days is not nothing. You may be past the worst of your physical withdrawals at this time, and you have established that you ARE able to pass up drinking. You've done it now 8 days in a row, over a week. You CAN do this.
You might want to start thinking about AA or a support system or some kind of plan for staying on this track, because like a lot of people will tell you, it's not always hard to get sober, it can be hard to keep sober.
I used to do this, I would actually reward myself for not drinking.... by drinking. And others on this forum will likely admit to having done this as well.
It took a lot of relapses for me to understand and accept that it would always happen that way.
The one point I would disagree with you on is that 8 days is nothing. You should be proud of that. We don't want to take our sobriety for granted, because we have no guarantee, no matter how many sober days we count up, that any more will follow... but we have to place value on them. 8 days is not nothing. You may be past the worst of your physical withdrawals at this time, and you have established that you ARE able to pass up drinking. You've done it now 8 days in a row, over a week. You CAN do this.
You might want to start thinking about AA or a support system or some kind of plan for staying on this track, because like a lot of people will tell you, it's not always hard to get sober, it can be hard to keep sober.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by MattM316 
What frustrates me is that I know I don't need it at all.
Apart from when you have bad withdrawals (where it's a physical need for alcohol), I think it's 99% all mental/psychological.
I haven't drank since last Saturday, so that's 8 days. Which is nothing, I don't expect a round of applause for it.
But in that period I can *honestly* say that I haven't missed it or wished I had alcohol in the house.
That's what frustrates me. Because I know what always happens is that I think "ok i'll have a drink now and it'll be fine" and that more often than not leads to daily drinking.
Apart from when you have bad withdrawals (where it's a physical need for alcohol), I think it's 99% all mental/psychological.
I haven't drank since last Saturday, so that's 8 days. Which is nothing, I don't expect a round of applause for it.
But in that period I can *honestly* say that I haven't missed it or wished I had alcohol in the house.
That's what frustrates me. Because I know what always happens is that I think "ok i'll have a drink now and it'll be fine" and that more often than not leads to daily drinking.
Agreeing with most of what Brenda said - one aside: someone on another thread posted about a calendar and marking days. Part of what he shared is that he would tally up days at the end of the year and if he had more sober than not, it was a victory. This is the kind of thing an AV will tell you to keep you drinking. Whether you subconsciously plan ahead in this kind of way (how I took his post, in a way) or you just kinda sorta commit to "trying" sobriety, you won't get the results of a new life without alcohol. Like we say around here, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. And you can make that choice.
You can do it- don't drink today. Good luck.
Matt M
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by August252015
Matt, 8 days is super! What's a plan to keep going? Now sounds like a great time for an AA meeting, as I always say, and regardless of what program you choose...choosing one. That AV will come back, like you describe, til you change your whole outlook.
Agreeing with most of what Brenda said - one aside: someone on another thread posted about a calendar and marking days. Part of what he shared is that he would tally up days at the end of the year and if he had more sober than not, it was a victory. This is the kind of thing an AV will tell you to keep you drinking. Whether you subconsciously plan ahead in this kind of way (how I took his post, in a way) or you just kinda sorta commit to "trying" sobriety, you won't get the results of a new life without alcohol. Like we say around here, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. And you can make that choice.
You can do it- don't drink today. Good luck.
Agreeing with most of what Brenda said - one aside: someone on another thread posted about a calendar and marking days. Part of what he shared is that he would tally up days at the end of the year and if he had more sober than not, it was a victory. This is the kind of thing an AV will tell you to keep you drinking. Whether you subconsciously plan ahead in this kind of way (how I took his post, in a way) or you just kinda sorta commit to "trying" sobriety, you won't get the results of a new life without alcohol. Like we say around here, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. And you can make that choice.
You can do it- don't drink today. Good luck.
Well my friend comes out of detox tomorrow and she's been going to weekly meetings for a while, so I plan to start going with her and just see how it goes.
The problem I've had in the past is that I've gone a while without drinking so I end up thinking "ah I don't need any meetings", but I've done that so many times now that I've finally realized I probably do need these meetings!
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