15 year age difference and this..

Old 10-13-2016, 05:20 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2013
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Originally Posted by StormiNormi View Post
We can also hope that this man gets the help he needs, and fast

Well said PurpleSky. Exactly
Mich as I'm reluctant to say this, it requires a lifetime's worth of internal work with a trained professional for precisely the kind of person who is most adamantly unwilling to do it.

It's not like changing or dropping a bad habit. The work requires a radical change in temperament, which is extremely difficult to do, and an overall change in character, which includes a change of personal values, and is equally difficult to accomplish in any substantive way.
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Old 10-13-2016, 05:53 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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IMHO, a person can achieve personality change if they are Honest, Open and Willing.
Like you say, EndGame, it with take a lifetime of work.
I for one; wouldn't voluntarily sign up as a witness to such pain it would take to do so.
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Old 10-13-2016, 06:11 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I would like to clarify that in my previous posts, I addressed that he has to want the help for himself first-
Also when I mentioned getting the help he needs quickly, I did not mean he would instantly change. I meant I hope he comes around and realizes what he needs to do, then addresses it sooner rather than later. For his own benefit.

And if he DOES miraculously do this, say, tomorrow...that in no way shape or form means that it's okay to stay with him, or think because he's admitted needing help then it's worth staying and sticking it out. This toxic situation will only heal if the relationship ends. Both parties need focus, contemplativeness, inner peace. The first understanding is that if there was any relationship in this at all, it was terribly one sided. He may truly believe that he did his best, and it's okay to make peace with that and move forward.

I am clearly far too passionate, lol! My rambles shall cease for now
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Old 10-13-2016, 06:17 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I find it impossibly tedious to read paragraphs of that size... But I think I got the gist of it, which is that you and this guy are not compatible. He's an adult and you're still a kid. We don't think we're still kids when we're 20. I mean, it's not like we're teenagers anymore, that was months ago. We're in our twenties now. But a hell of a lot happens to a person in the course of their twenties, and the difference in maturity by the time you hit 30, you look back and realize it is night and day, you knew nothing back then. Anyway, you should be single right now and trying to figure out who YOU are, and you need to ditch this dude. You didn't need us to tell you that, because you feel something is wrong with the situation. So leave the situation.
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