Help and Support Needed
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 315
Sam, I hope things work out for you. Please protect your daughter and yourself. As an addict myself, I know how much the lying and deceit can hurt those we love. And no matter what happens in your marriage, I hope your wife eventually figures it out and tries to get sober. It's very difficult. I'm struggling a lot with it myself. But it's worth the struggle, failures and all.
Seriously, all my best to you.
Seriously, all my best to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 89
Thomas11....
Thank you for your comments.
It is all part of life's journey I guess... not every path is paved with gold.
The biggest thing thru all of this.....I do believe I still love her......very sad to see her in this state of unravel. Unfortunately what is acceptable in my eyes and my daughters eyes is the moral standard that I have in life.
Thank you for your comments.
It is all part of life's journey I guess... not every path is paved with gold.
The biggest thing thru all of this.....I do believe I still love her......very sad to see her in this state of unravel. Unfortunately what is acceptable in my eyes and my daughters eyes is the moral standard that I have in life.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by waynetheking 
Sam I feel for ya man. Sounds like she's a full blown alcoholic and the only thing that will become of this is death and destruction if she doesn't stop. Get your daughter out now. Don't feel bad for leaving you're wife. You have to do this for your daughter.
This disease is insidious, it affects everyone involved. The mind will choose this poison over loved ones every time. Without exception. My prayers are with you and your family sam. I hope she's quits before it's too late.
This disease is insidious, it affects everyone involved. The mind will choose this poison over loved ones every time. Without exception. My prayers are with you and your family sam. I hope she's quits before it's too late.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Hey Sam,
Man I'm sorry you're dealing with this mess! I don't have much to offer other than my support and prayers..
Alcohol and Xanax is a deadly combination! Personally I'd call her doctor and let them know what's going on. I know the intervention didn't work the first time. I'd try another avenue and get her into a rehab facility..
Please keep posting here, as mentioned above look up your local Al Anon group, they can support you locally and are wonderful people!!
Wishing you the best!!!
Man I'm sorry you're dealing with this mess! I don't have much to offer other than my support and prayers..
Alcohol and Xanax is a deadly combination! Personally I'd call her doctor and let them know what's going on. I know the intervention didn't work the first time. I'd try another avenue and get her into a rehab facility..
Please keep posting here, as mentioned above look up your local Al Anon group, they can support you locally and are wonderful people!!
Wishing you the best!!!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sam1
This is exactly how I see things going. She is continually trying to blame everything on me.....looking for signs that I have cheated on her (which I have not) . It's like watching someone slowly go insane.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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Due to the fact that I have taken over the driving of our daughter on a daily basis they have denied the emergency motion. I will have to use the scare tactics of "I will call the police" in the short term. I filed this morning.....they are requesting an expedited hearing and mandatory drug/alcohol testing. I have been told if anything happens that puts our daughter in danger I need to call the police and let them know asap. I'm trying to figure out a way to get her to leave the house. Maybe have other family move in temporarily.
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I'm having a bit of remorse about filing today......I know it's what's best for my daughter and I but I still can't help but feel I'm bailing on our marriage at her worst point. I'm not sure how her reaction will be......sadness, anger, etc. I know she was screaming at me she wants a divorce in the intervention I had. She was sooooo mad at me that I involved her parents.....I can only assume she was lying to them. Just a sad state of affairs ......don't know how everything has fell apart this quickly.
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Sometimes I feel like it's a knee jerk reaction to her infidelity also. Like I said.....I was brought up knowing this was not a line that you cross. I have been with her 10 years and haven't cheated once. This morning she was having detox shakes putting socks on our child. It's almost like she's in a permanent daze. Just a horrible thing to see and watch.
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She was just telling me she has every right to drive our child around. Said she will stop drinking when she drives her. I told her I will not hesitate the call the police. She said I will go to jail for a false report......told her I would take the risk cause most likely the odds are in my favor.
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Join Date: May 2014
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I don't think there's an answer I could give... I was her for so long... and yet I am not sure whether to tell you to keep loving her because she's in hell or leave her because you're in hell.. I am just glad that I am free of it so that I never cause this kind of hurt to my future husband.
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It is definitely hell. It's not healthy at all . Knowing that she has affairs and seems to have little to no emotion really bothers me. It's almost like she has an angry I don't give a f attitude still. Is this the late stage of the addiction or is it her true feelings
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
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Sam, I'm sorry you've had this dropped on you. You said she did admitted having a problem.
Mixing the drugs and alcohol have her in a twilight zone. No doubt, if she does sober up, she'll regret a lot of her behavior.
I kind of think that if my husband had timed it right, taken me by the hand on one of those mornings when I was sick and hung over - and kindly, without anger, asked me to go get help. And had taken me to the nearest detox or ER, I really think I'd have gone. It's hard to make that decision yourself when you're all messed up.
Please do not misunderstand that I think you need to fix her or you can fix her. She has to do that.
You are a good dad to put your daughter's best interests first.
Mixing the drugs and alcohol have her in a twilight zone. No doubt, if she does sober up, she'll regret a lot of her behavior.
I kind of think that if my husband had timed it right, taken me by the hand on one of those mornings when I was sick and hung over - and kindly, without anger, asked me to go get help. And had taken me to the nearest detox or ER, I really think I'd have gone. It's hard to make that decision yourself when you're all messed up.
Please do not misunderstand that I think you need to fix her or you can fix her. She has to do that.
You are a good dad to put your daughter's best interests first.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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I'm just so disgusted by her lies. I never deserved her having the affairs. Constantly trying to redirect our marriage issues to my fault. It's like in her head right now she has justified them.....she doesn't know that I know everything. I'm just sitting listening to lie after lie
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No most of my family is out of state. She has family local. I wont leave my daughter here alone. She has seemed to cut back the last couple days.....is that possible at this point. She has also said she is gonna kick it in 3 to 5 days. Just go cold turkey to kick it. Crap she had the shakes this morning putting my daughters socks on
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No most of my family is out of state. She has family local. I wont leave my daughter here alone. She has seemed to cut back the last couple days.....is that possible at this point. She has also said sheshe gonna kick it in 3 to 5 days. Just go cold turkey to kick it. Crap she had the shakes this morning putting my daughters socks on
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She has been accusing me of affairs over the past few weeks.
Going back to things that happened 8 years ago when we were dating.
Going back thru my facebook to find likes and comments I have made on other women's pictures. It's almost like she is trying to justify her actions. I have never ever cheated on her...... I can't understand her rationale at this point. I feel like shes trying to blame me for everything.
Going back to things that happened 8 years ago when we were dating.
Going back thru my facebook to find likes and comments I have made on other women's pictures. It's almost like she is trying to justify her actions. I have never ever cheated on her...... I can't understand her rationale at this point. I feel like shes trying to blame me for everything.
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Originally Posted by sam1
I can't understand her rationale at this point. I feel like shes trying to blame me for everything.
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ScotfromWI,
I'm just finding it extremely hard to process how she is talking to 2-3 guys behind my back. Lying to me about her whereabouts and where she is going. Still acting like she has cut back on her drinking....even thought I see her shakes every morning. Still acting like she wants to make things better.....sometimes I believe because I'm the main money maker she doesn't want to lose her padding (home and $$$). I have become her number one enemy ....this is not marriage.....this is not in the best interest of our daughter. Then comes home and brings up the same fight and doubts in her head that I had an affair. I have no clue how she is going to react when she gets the divorce papers in the next couple days. I've had enough honestly .....I don't need this crap about accusations on things I've never done while she's lying every minute about everything she's doing. She has found a girlfriend that is enabling her every activity.....telling her she's right doing everything she's doing. Let's go drink and party because he has done all of this to you.
I'm just finding it extremely hard to process how she is talking to 2-3 guys behind my back. Lying to me about her whereabouts and where she is going. Still acting like she has cut back on her drinking....even thought I see her shakes every morning. Still acting like she wants to make things better.....sometimes I believe because I'm the main money maker she doesn't want to lose her padding (home and $$$). I have become her number one enemy ....this is not marriage.....this is not in the best interest of our daughter. Then comes home and brings up the same fight and doubts in her head that I had an affair. I have no clue how she is going to react when she gets the divorce papers in the next couple days. I've had enough honestly .....I don't need this crap about accusations on things I've never done while she's lying every minute about everything she's doing. She has found a girlfriend that is enabling her every activity.....telling her she's right doing everything she's doing. Let's go drink and party because he has done all of this to you.
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