Those who stayed sober without AA
 

I'm at 41 days sober and attend AA. I'm curious to hear about those who stayed sober without AA and what methods they used. Not against AA, I just like go hear all methods and get as many weapons in my arsenal as possible.

I got sober in the CDRP program at Kaiser 12-90 to 12-92 when that program ended we were told we should be able to stay sober on our own forever. I did not go to a meeting until 8 years sober got a sponsor worked the steps and he is still my sponsor but I did not agree with all of the 12 steps I was already sober. I had already made amends and was keeping my side of the street clean and was living my life by the golden rule, I love the AA fellowship but have been at odds with so much of the program.
The most important part of recovery is having a program and sticking to it, nothing better for me than face to face with other people in recovery.
One alcoholic sharing there experience strength and hope with each other.
To answer part of your question CBT is one way to stay sober without AA, Smart Recovery, LifeRing there are many paths to recovery.

Hi JoeyG -- I'll just share my own experience.

When I decided to quit alcohol I went to AA, because it was the only thing I knew about. I went frequently for the first year and followed nearly all of the suggestions -- got a sponsor, worked the steps, had service commitments, etc. I stayed sober. I learned a lot and generally had a good experience, and will always have love for this program.

At about the year mark, I was wrestling with some things about the program that didn't align with my own experience, values and beliefs (not the spirituality issue, but the question of 'what is the problem' and 'what is the solution'). On SR I found information about AVRT (there's a good thread in the Secular Connections sticky section). I started using that instead, and found that it fits better for me.

I think the important thing is to commit to an alcohol-free future, and take drinking off the table. Different approaches work for different people, and the key is to find the thing that works for you. Read around this site -- there is a wealth of personal experiences of people successfully using AA, AVRT, SMART, counseling with an addiction specialist, and any number of individual approaches.

I am doing a lot of reading in AVRT. Going to still go to AA because I like being around other people in recovery. I see that the programs are contradictory, but I don't see why I can't take what I need from both. Going to start meditating every day as well.

Hi, JoeyG, and welcome. I have posted this before, so forgive, friends, because I repeat. AA was very, very helpful to me early in my sobriety. I was with a community of like-minded, supportive, and caring people. It really helped me a lot as I struggled with cravings, sleeplessness, and sadness that I was turning my back on what I thought was my best friend in the world: the drink. It is a terrific fellowship that has helped and continues to help people in need. It is not a program that I follow any longer, but that's me, not the program. I have tried to learn as much as I can about alcohol-dependency through books, podcasts, interviews with addiction specialists, and similar media. I have come to believe that we all are individual in our struggles with alcohol, and that our recovery paths will vary. There is no "one size fits all." There are many secular recovery programs. That is, not 12 step. i believe this site has a secular recovery forum that you might want to explore. Good luck. Peace.

You can and you should ;-) Recovery methods are many and even within any specific method there is room for interpretation. Learn as much as you can and apply it wherever you can.

A little face-to-face support from family and friends and A LOT of visits to SR:)

Joey, as Scott said you should take whatever you want from any and all recovery programs. Any tool that helps you live in recovery is good. I used books in the early days and then found SR and have been here ever since.

There are lots of alternative support groups, and you can get and stay sober forever without ever stepping foot in an AA meeting. But group support of some kind does seem to be critical for many or even most, at least for a while, whether it's face-to-face or online or both.

I stayed sober for the first two months by attending an intensive outpatient program, and followed that with a less-intensive 3 month aftercare program. Meanwhile I attended local Lifering and Smart meetings, and got active in forums and chat rooms. I still facilitate a Freestyle meeting once a week, post here now and then, and check in to a couple HipChat chat rooms. Once in a while I'll attend a medical treatment aftercare group just to check in and say hi. I've attended many AA meetings, but almost all of them were before I got sober, during a period of frequent relapses. I'd have no problem going to one now if I felt I needed support and that was the only option available, but I haven't felt that need in years. Works for me. :)

Taking drinking off the table as an option No Matter What is staying quit. Adopting that stance and finding or using any method/program/ect that strengthens that resolve is the key, jettison anything that makes you question your ability to hold that resolve.

I didnt go to AA for the first year. I was not an alcholic (in denial) and i didnt have a drinking problem. I had a lot of other problems but dirnking was not it.

My main issue with beer was when i drank it caused panic attacks. I figured as soon as i figured out why or what not i might just start drinking again. But a week or 2 into my quit I quickly realized i was in for one hell of a battle. again I had lots of problems but not once did I feel that removing booze was withdrawels or something like that I just thought life sucked and i was a mental head case and damn i needed a drink it was more or less my problem was that i coudlnt drink not that it was causing all those other issues.

What did i do instead of AA? I read books and whatever i could get my hands on. Drank herbal teas and such paced climbed the walls and just about went insane and porobably did. My wife has told me i was basicly very mentally ill at that time. I was on the razors edge of sanity. At about 6 months i decided to diet and excercise in a desperate attempt to maybe feel better. I was really angry and still wanted to drink tho.

At about 1 year in i came here and realized huh maybe i do have a dirnking problem I went to AA at that point but not liek super seriiously . I just showed up now and then.

I kept reading and working on myself etc..

Hey JoeyG

If you like exploring that sort of thing you might enjoy some podcasts from "Alchoholism Recovery Radio" and HARMS. Both explore some alternatives and experiences.

I was sober for ~2.5 yrs without AA but drank again. I used AVRT, SR and some other sites for support.
I think I drank again b/c I didn't change enough of my life (no spiritual or personal growth, same homies and parties, no sober friends etc) and drank again "eventually," for a few years before getting serious about quitting again.

I went to AA for the first time ~16 months ago and blogged about it here. At first I went to lots of meetings and looked for ones I felt jived with my own spiritual but also views on recovery. AA saved my life, no question. I needed to go "all in" for ~6 months to really get my new lifestyle to "take hold."
I proceeded to do a lot of work on myself and that work continues today.

Today, I go to 1-2 meetings a week and have coffee with my fellowship 1x. I found a very "non-fundamentalist" group to hang with and that + lots of podcasts and a little SR , AVRT, CBT are my program. I've also made lots of friends in the group who share common interests and we hang out quite a bit.

I knew I didn't want AA to take over my life forever. I wanted desperately to get sober, to build a new life of happiness and friends and AA facilitated that, and if/when I need more it's always there for me.

Keep in mind this isn't advice, merely me talking about my experience. It may not work well for others.

CJ.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

This is a post I made over 5 years ago where I explain how I came to be sober. Take a look, and maybe it can help you. Best of luck to you, JoeyG. Keep posting, OK?

I camped out on SR, checked in many times a day . . . and well, I've never left!!

Going on 3 years Sober . . . it can be done, but one size doesn't fit all, do what works for you!! :)

yeah one big thing that keeps me sober is the changes i made in my life. healthy eating and running are probably the main things I knwo if i drink i'm going to ruin my subsequent days run and I dont wanna do that this really helps motivate me to not bother with that sorta thing.

but totally overhauling your life doesnt happen over night it was a very gradual thing for me that took place over the course of at the very least a year and a half .

Hi Joey,

You wouldn't be starting to look at steps three or four by any chance?

Someone earlier made a wise comment about one size does not fit all. If you have found something that fits, don't change it. I am one of a small percentage of alcoholics for whom AA is the only solution, and I have never seen anyone like me recover by any other means. My rehab group of 10, three went to AA and are still sober today, seven did not and were all dead within a year.

Until I went travelling, I spent a lot of time with the patients in the hospital detox. The hospital and community care organisations offer a range of options including counselling,, cbt, harm reduction, fellloship of a sort, and always have a doctor supervising things. These are goood and dedicated people, but there is a bunch of people they have no success with and these eventually become what the staff call "frequent flyers" in the detox ward.

Of these, occasionally AA gets one, but mostly the booze gets them in the end. It is quite focussing to see the physical and mental deterioration, and the denial can be phenominal.

"Take what I need" is something that makes me shudder. Among my type of alcpholics, the takers don't do well, it is the givers that seem so get the best deal. And what I need is.... well, I didn't know what I needed, I didn't know how to recover, how could I? So I took the suggested medicine, some of which I didn't like, some of which I would have preferred to avoid but somehow knew was unavoidable and I got what was promised, a first rate recovery.

For me AA worked well and it worked quickly, as quickly as I worked it. I like the idea of getting freedom from alcohol as quickly as possible, and the speed at which AA works is something the medical fraternity has never been able to explain. Maybe that's the miracle of it.

44 days here. No AA.

I agree with Fred although I do still occasionally attend AA.

other programs that work well for many --
Celebrate Recovery
Overcomers
Salvation Army
Church

M-Bob

SMART, AVRT, WFS, AA, IOP, and individual therapy for the first few months after IOP, and of course, SR. :)

I did them all! I learned something from each of them that I continue to benefit from today. It is true. 'Taking' what you need from programs doesn't mean you can't also give back. I gave back to every program.

I use ideas, tools, concepts, and stories from each and every one.

I also read several recovery books and memoirs. Got something from every single one.

And I read from both secular and spiritual daily meditation books. I am happily agnostic atheist. Have been since my teens.

Two defining moments for me: resolving the ambivalence in my mind over whether I could ever drink again (I can't and I won't), and making a phone call to a rehab to set up IOP for myself.

For me it was friends who were willing to stay on the phone with me when the cravings hit. I also knew that they would check on me the next day.

It was a lot about accountability. I also had a non-judgmental therapist who I could talk openly about my cravings and drug use. Just talking about it openly and honestly gave me perspective to see my addiction as it really was.

I still sometimes go to meetings and hear them say that you cannot do anything to help someone who is craving. But I actually think that is exactly when you need to help them...or at least it was that way with me. Talking to friends in the middle of it changed everything. And talking to the shrink gave me the bigger picture.