Fluffer

My program was mostly reading books on the subject and posting here. The crux of the matter is that you need to recognize the need to stop completely, make the firm decision, and eliminate the alcoholic garbage thinking that life is unlivable without alcohol. Read Allen Carr, Jack Trimpey, AVRT stuff. Most important aspect is changing your mindset from seeing alcohol as desirable to not. Plenty of people quit by reading a couple of books, actually. Although I think social support is probably important for most people.

zerothehero

I read Lawrence Peltz's Mindful Path to Addiction Recovery, started meditating, and read more, and kept meditating... The process taught me acceptance of self and situation. I learned to be with the pain instead of fighting it. SR helped, too.

JesseJe

This place has helped me tremendously. I'm very shy in new situations so AA wasn't really ideal for me. So far I've been 9 weeks sober. Focused and resolved. Never underestimating my addiction but never giving into it either.

Odelle

Nine months here, using SR and accepting the fact that I have an addictive personality and the best way to prevent a further decline into alcoholism is to never pick up that first drink, again. Works for smoking too.

Loekken

It has mostly been self-help in my case, although I've attended private, individual counseling sessions. It's the only 'treatment' I've had and I don't feel like I need more in terms of 'alcohol' counseling. The rest is the rest and all the things not fixable by just not drinking, meaning they are essentially not even drink-related, ever so often in my case. I think I mentioned it before, most have deeper psychological issues before they pick up the bottle, or at least many do.

I think what mostly put me off with programs and the like has been the fact that it - as I said - felt like someone was trying to sell me a product, or even just sell me an idea. Buy into this and you shall get better.

KAD

I won't dispute that there may be some who come across that way, or that that is how one might perceive them, but I can only speak for myself. When I offer my "experience, strength, and hope" to other people who are suffering, I genuinely want to help them. I have nothing to gain for myself (except maybe a new sober friend). It bothers me to see others going through the same madness I lived with for more than half my life. I tried a lotta different ways to stay sober, and felt much like what you shared above for most of that time. But, for me personally, nothing but the 12-step program has resulted in not only staying sober but, more importantly, the behavioral changes to address why I kept returning to alcohol again and again. It's no small influence on my motivation that I nearly lost everything to get to that point - it takes what it takes - but my hope is that I can help another who is suffering the same or worse, and possibly plant a seed in his/her mind that there's a way out that can work, if given a chance. It's a way I avoided until I ran out of options.

KAD

A lot of treatment facilities, maybe most of them, are still predominantly 12-step based and it's true they can be quite expensive. A fellow AA member I know once called rehab a "very expensive introduction to AA." Here's what I can tell you about my experiences...

Both times I went to rehab, it was mostly out of compliance. The first time it was to keep my job. The second time was because I'd just gotten my first DWI and because it was required if I was ever to be awarded unsupervised visits with my children (which I still have not received a year and a half later). The first rehab was AA-based, the second was not. Neither of them was a positive experience, and neither had a lasting impact on me. Not to say that it wouldn't be for others, that was just my experience.

What has had a lasting impact was simply attending AA meetings, getting a sponsor, and working through the steps. That hasn't cost me a penny. My sponsor gave me my Big Book, so I didn't even have to buy that. I contribute voluntarily when I can, but no one pressures me to give more or to give at all. (I contribute in ways other than monetarily, too.)

My point is, there has been no apparent ulterior motive behind anyone in my local AA groups offering their help and friendship to me. One of the things that has attracted me most is that feeling of comradery and equality among all these people who otherwise would never have crossed paths. I could have saved myself a lot of money and time if I'd gone much sooner, but I wasn't ready yet. As I've said before, it takes what it takes.

flutter

I've been sober for going on 8 years now- I did go to a few meetings at the beginning, mostly because I didn't know what to do, and had to do something! I ended up seeing a counselor who specialized in addiction, saw him 2x a week for about 6 months. He really helped me, because I certainly couldn't help myself all by myself We worked on things like building up my "toolbox" of coping skills that I was lacking, working on relaxation techniques, meditation, he recommended a few books that we read together and worked through.

CAPTAINZING2000

Just my opinion, drinking is a life style. I socialized with people that drank like I did. Most all of my social events included alcohol.
Even without using AA as my source to get sober, I had to distant myself from the people that drank like I did. I also, had to exclude bars and any events where a lot of drinking would occur.

After a lot of years of not drinking, going to bars and socializing with heavy drinkers are the things I no longer do.

There was a void in my early sobriety that AA filled my time with.

Any type of recovery can be used to fill that void.


What ever type of recovery any in early recovery uses, become 100% involved in it.

Evangelina

AA doesn't really work for me, I either feel like I'm not an alcoholic enough to be there OR that other people are not "alcoholics enough", just regular people who drank too much at one point and decided to stop (especially in women's groups). It's true that I've only gone to a couple of groups so far, but... I guess it is my personality, I am an individualist, and I generally am much more productive on my own (at least when it is work and study related...)

Loekken

Hm.. I feel the same with myself, about everything you mention here. Always seemed like others were 'worse' than me.

advbike

Quitting alcohol - not that difficult. Staying sober - not that difficult. Finding happiness and contentment - extremely difficult.. at least for me. I was miserable for the first two years of sobriety because I had been unable to change my thinking problem and active ego. Always filtering events in a way that made me the victim, or justified my laziness and poor attitude. No amount of reading, research, or therapy seemed to do the trick for me. Other addictions rushed in to replace the one I gave up. I also felt I didn't belong in AA because I "wasn't that bad". Wow.. what an ego.

Truly the old saying that "you can't use the same bad thinking to get out of the situation it got you into in the first place" applied to me. I finally dragged my complaining ass back into AA at 2 years and a few months sober and admitted I was powerless over my drinking (and by extension my thinking). I discovered most others also had "the thinking problem" like I did. And no amount of thinking can get you out of the box. I needed a spiritual solution, so I found a sponsor and began to work the steps.. currently on Step 9. I have to say it has really helped. I'm calmer, more accepting, carry a lot less emotional baggage (guilt and regrets) and am maybe a little less selfish. Life is a lot better, if still not perfect, haha.

My point here is that achieving sobriety without AA is certainly achievable, but maybe sobriety in and of itself isn't necessarily the goal. At least for folks like me, achieving happiness takes a program of recovery. In my case it took a spiritual solution but there are many other types to choose from.

Gottalife

There was a treatament centre, which I managed not to go to, that labelled this kind of thinking as false pride, a term which caught on in our local AA. It means drawing a distinction based on a false premise, in this case that we are better than or worse than. In a spiritual program this cannot be true as the main principle of anonymity is that we are all equal spiritually. We check our wordly status and baggage at the door. "We are people who would not normally mix"

Of course it is true that false pride, a classic charater defect, will manifest itself among members until they get on with the steps and make some progress spiritually, but that is what it is, a character defect that keeps us seperate, alone and ashamed, even in a room full of friendly people.

JeffreyAK

Not everyone believes in "character defects", or looks positively upon the concept of guilting and browbeating addicts into submitting to a particular proselytizing and essentially religion-based program.

awuh1

A bit more investigation might be warranted Jeff. Character defects are simply things like greed, envy, or gluttony. These things most certainly exist.

As for guilt and brow beating, this is rare. On the contrary. Face to face support and encouragement, from people who know of the problem first hand, is nearly always the case.

As for AA being a religion based program? It's an odd sort of religion that accepts people with any, all and no belief as members.

miamifella

Odd like Unitarian/Universalists and Buddhism. There are a number of religions that require practices rather than beliefs, like 12-step recovery.

awuh1

Well miami, you got it wrong once again. AA requires no belief what-so-ever (nor any practices for that matter). The only requirement (for membership) is a desire to stop drinking, and you don't even need that in order to attend an open meeting. AA is such an odd religion ... that it does not look like a religion at all. How odd.

dwtbd

Beauty really is in the eye of beholder. And luckily there are opportunities abound to find and behold it. Here's to hoping everyone finds theirs.

Ken33xx

Did you drink today? No? Neither did I.

It's all good.

No need to get things twisted.

JoeyG1000

Wow thank you everybody for the responses. I've been reading the secular pages the past few days. I'm on day 47. I've stayed away from drinking associates and found a job away from alcohol. Waiting on my copy of rational recovery, and read the crash course.

I struggle lately with resentment, depression, and general restlessness. I think I need to meditate, I keep saying I will but never do. Need to work on those feelings, I'm aware of what they can lead to. Oddly enough, the urge to drink is barely there. I'm also seeing my doctor tomorrow about an antabuse.