I just realized....the holidays are coming
 

Whenever I try to trick myself into thinking I didn't really have a drinking problem, something new comes up and I remember that it was even worse than I thought.
Case and point: the holidays. For at least the last 10 years, both Thanksgiving and Christmas would be all day long drink-a-thons for me.
And New Years? I don't think I even have to say it.
I was wondering how others here prepare for this upcoming season where even 'normal' people drink alot. I think I'm going to plan morning hikes on both Thanksgiving and Christmas to try to block out some time on those days. I'm actually dreading the next few months.

I have a dry house and for the most part do not attend events were there is a lot of drinking. Have I missed a number of events? Sure have, but the world hasn't ended and I am happily sober

I think that's a misconception/assumption our addiction tries to tell us as well. "Normal people" drink like normal people whether it's the holidays or not. I think the real difference around holidays is that it's more common to have alchol around, but it's still only the alcoholics and problem drinkers that drink too much for the most part.

For me I try to focus on the things that really matter during the holidays - family and togetherness. While there will be alcohol served at many events, it's not really the main focus for most. Alcoholics tend to obsess about it of course, but for most people the alcohol is just another thing that happens to be there - like food or soda. Most of the battles are really just going on inside our heads.

Granted there are certainly some events that I don't take part in at all anymore on the holidays - like hanging out in bars on new years eve. Since the main reason to be at a bar is to drink alcohol, I simply don't go there anymore.

We don't keep alcohol in the house. No alcohol is served when we host a gathering. Our families and friends know we don't drink and are fine with it. My alcoholic sib doesn't attend family get togethers at all. When I go to an event where alcohol is served, I just make sure I have something non-alcoholic in my hand at all times. I am fond of sparkling non-a cider ( which I often contribute to dinner), v-8 juice, and ginger ale. Early in my sobriety, when I thought I might be tempted to drink, I tried to avoid the event. Unfortunately, that is harder to do with family. Good luck.

I don't drink. So I don't care what "normal" drinkers do for the holidays. Fact is, in my current circle, there isn't that much drinking. So I'm not under any so-called pressure to drink.

If you are, perhaps start with changing that.

I remember feeling the same dread about Xmas coming. BUT, not any more. I can't wait. I decided that I had two options. 1. Try to ignore Xmas and be all bah humbug about it. 2. Do PROPER Christmassy things in the run up to Christmas and over Christmas itself. For the last 2 years I've gone for the second option. I've gone to local Christmas fairs, Christmas panto, Carol Services, Advent event at my local church and cathedral. This year I've volunteered to help look after the camels (YES, CAMELS! !!!) at my little cities Xmas light switch on for my churches Living Advent they'll be holding there. I'll also be volunteering for other events and getting that panto ticket booked. If last Christmas was anything to go by, I'll be ready for a rest by Xmas day, but I might help at the Xmas dinner for the elderly and homeless held at the cathedral, as my AA friend did that last year and had a wonderful time.
On Boxing day I intend to visit some family seeing as I get on so much better with my siblings etc now I'm sober and have managed to let go of some childhood resentments that followed me around for several decades. New Years eve will either be an AA party somewhere or snuggle down with a good book and avoid it. That's the one bit I'm not so fussed about.

I can't wait.

Thanks BerryBean, so many great suggestions and very encouraging. You are right, I should also volunteer. :)

Excellent ideas, Berrybean.
In case I have to be alone at Christmas, I have a list of things to do, gleaned from online: Christmassy or other favourite dvds and music; the special festive foods I want to eat, or keeping it simple if I choose; a wrapped gift to myself; getting outside in Nature; having beautiful seasonal decorations and flowers; can't recall the rest of the list at present but it can be a happy and uplifting time if I take positive action. :)

I hate the holidays because my family is a bunch of drunks and I can't stand being around all the chaos and insanity come holiday season. Last year they all went on a bar crawl and my 62 year old aunt almost got arrested for stealing a napkin holder from a restaurant. No thanks.............

This is the thing, though, Bunny211 - we can take control and make our holidays and festivals a happy and beautiful time for ourselves :)

i'm fortunate the family i spend the holidays with dont drink.

BUT last year someone brought a bottle of wine to thanksgiving i found that i sat there obsessing over it the entire meal. I didnt want any at least i dont think but i took note of who was dirnking how much they drank and how they consumed it IE did they seem like they had alcholic tendancies or not etc.. at the end of the meal i realized i was entirely too fixated on that wine in a very unhealty obsessive way.

Yep.

My partner will treat the whole thing just like any other day off and get drunk. Then he'll say, being all disappointed, Christmas is overrated, it no different from any other time of the year. Lol. Well, no. It's exactly what we choose to make of it. And like anything else, we can choose to put some effort in, and find solutions and do things that we will enjoy, or we can mooch around in the problem and be miserable. I'm willing to put the effort in to stay in the solution. Problem-dwelling takes me to a bleak and hopeless place pretty quick so I have to work my program.

There will be support here 24/7 right across Thanksgiving, Xmas, and the New Year :)

D

Until my parents died a few years ago, I tried to minimize my time with them.

Mom was an alcoholic who never tried to get sober, and my dad was a fairly heavy drinker, also.

That house we grew up in had bad juju to me.

No happy memories there.

Now, I have a wonderful time during the holidays with my wife, my sister and some other select friends and family.

I try to spend a good bit of time at the farm also.

But the OP made me think that I need to start assessing what I want for Christmas.

Usually a gun fits the bill rather nicely, but I'm open to other fun gifts.

And I usually buy my wife something that I know she will like.

We usually are out of town on New Years Eve going to a college football bowl game, but we just have a nice early meal and retire to the hotel room.

Christmas is the time I am most grateful to be sober because it was the time of my biggest disasters. I ruined so many peoples Christmases. Today, while I do not socialise with drunks, I have no issues enjying events where there is drinking. This was promised me in AA and it has come to pass.

"Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor."

From page 100, the big book hs some good stuff on this.

I think I will be able to handle going to Uncle's Christmas party, if he should decide to have it and my parents go and I go with them, despite the homemade "moonshine" (Everclear based) considering there is alcohol all around me, as I live in my parents house, and I am cool with that (cool with there being alcohol, and cool with living with my parents lol) . In fact, until now I hadn't thought about it, but I'll finish this post and finish watching my movie and go to bed later and get up tomorrow hangover free as I have for the last forty days :) I am more excited about holiday FOOD!

Much like a designated driver, I concentrate on being the designated cooking monitor. Keep the timing on track, allocate oven time and space, just make the meal come together at the right time. That's my job. Too busy for temptation.

Nothing Christmasy about alcohol except maybe eggnog and you could just have an omelet and call it a day.

I try not to throw labels on those days. Every day was a drink-a-thon for me.

Three-day weekends were a killer. My organs were so thankful when they were over! Honestly, as some have mentioned, I try to keep something in my hand when around company. Coffee, bottled water, seltzer, whatever.