Working while drinking/drunk

Old 09-27-2016, 09:02 PM
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Working while drinking/drunk

I have my own small business and as I look back in my quickbooks it is utterly amazing at how many entry errors I had in that last year when I was spiraling down to my personal bottom. The question is not Did I invoice all my customers?, but rather, How many invoices were never processed and sent out? (it is no wonder that a few customer like me so much!!!!!). I look at it as a learning experience to go back now and see how many **** ups I made while running my business back then. I don't know how much money I lost, but I am still here, my business survived and is back on track. Before starting on my own, I was in sales for a large company, 100% commission, and if you hit your numbers no one cared what you did. If you made a profit for the team, you are left alone. Well, that was when I learned that I could drink and work and "thought" that I was being a high functioning drinker, but in hind site I was simply a drunk who was hitting his goals and no doubt my customers knew I was having problems back then.

I am grateful for a HP that guided me through those years and that I am still here today and sober. Yesterday was a very hard day for me, but as usual "this too shall pass" happened, and it always will. Not drinking will allow the 'pass' part to be quickly overcome after it has passed.

Just having some time tonight to reflect back on that awful period and so blessed to have survived it one day at a time. Sometimes a minute at a time.
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Old 09-27-2016, 10:29 PM
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As someone who works in heavy industry, were a simple mistake can easily lead to myself or someone I work with being killed. I am embarrassed and so disappointed in myself at the amount of times I have been at work still drunk from the night before. I start work at 5 am and it wouldn't be unusual for me to drink untill midnight or 1 am and then go to work that morning. But I haven't had a drink for 10 days and that rubbish can't happen when I don't drink .
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Old 09-28-2016, 06:20 AM
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I'm certain I was drunk in the morning on many occasions. I usually left work around 3:30 or 4 too so I could have my first beer of the day before I went home. And I agree...while I thought I was hiding it well, people knew.
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Old 09-28-2016, 06:45 AM
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At the end of my drinking I drank at work. There was a cocktail party going on in the handicapped stall in the 4rd floor ladies room. It was exclusive and I was the only one invited. I used to hide the nips in the trash/tampon receptacles. I'm sure everyone knew. Horrible. I eventually lost my job.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:16 AM
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I have to go to a lot of continuing education for my job. I'd use those days to really tie one on the night before, reasoning that I didn't really have to be more than semi-conscious for the class. Of course, I'd wake up so hungover/still partially drunk the next morning that I would have a few slugs just to feel half normal before heading out the door. I shudder now to think of it.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:29 AM
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"It was exclusive and I was the only one invited....". That was awesome.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:55 AM
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I drank on several jobs over the course of about 20 years. If anyone knew, no one said anything about it. It wasn't until my last job, when my office was relocated to an area that was much more visible, that people began to pay closer attention. My frequent tardiness, as well as falling asleep at my desk, became much more conspicuous. Up until then, I could sometimes go an entire week without encountering anyone. After getting caught drunk on the job a second time, at long last, I was finally terminated.
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Old 09-28-2016, 08:52 AM
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Ahhhh, the amount of times I've had to recheck my work the next day and hoped my boss hasn't called it up already (I work from home).

I came very close to losing my job last summer. I spun them a line which they couldn't check up on but felt bad about it. That was when I started checking my work the next day.

But now I know it will be right first time which is such a refreshing feeling!
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:42 AM
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We ARE a creative lot are we not?
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:59 AM
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I can relate to all of the above.

Over several different jobs, I just drank all night and would shower and change and go into work. Mass transit is such an enabler! Scary thing was that this was NORMAL....most folks were doing it. Heck, our main conference room had a fully stocked bar open all hours.

One job I was a traveling Manager. It was great because I would spend a week or two in nice hotel, get hammered every night and slip a couple those single shots from the mini bar for a mid morning pickup.

I had a corporate card and part of the job description was to "wine and dine" the branch employees. We used to joke about who couldn't handle the shots.

Some ways I miss it but those days are long gone.

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Old 09-28-2016, 10:17 AM
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Been there...

I'm in medical device sales, and previously in pharmaceutical sales. Working out of the house for the last 12 years.

I was drunk and so many calls I wasn't even funny. I'm sure people suspected I had an issue. Nothing bad really ever happen though. I was so lucky.
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Whodathunk View Post
We ARE a creative lot are we not?
Yes, yes we are.

I was in real estate on the side for many years, up until about 7 years ago. I kept a case of beer in the fridge at any place I was painting or remodeling. I'd work at my day job until 5pm, grab a bite and head to the apartments to paint until 8 or 9pm. Drank beer the entire time I was painting. I'd even show apartments to potential tenants while half hosed. Drove with one eye closed.

Count me in as another lucky one. Could've had a DUI a bajillion times over!
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:18 PM
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In true alcoholic fashion, I drank to obliteration the day I got my first client. It was like I couldn't handle the success. I don't know why. Still just really bothers me that I did that, and it's because, for me, there's always been a pattern of binging just before a significant moment, or just after.

Learning to feel all my feelings, and to get things in balance since getting sober has been the thing I've had to do to handle my life sober. Accepting defeats and successes, highs and lows, equally, and realizing there are no guarantees -- there are actions and consequences. And that I need to be willing to let go of attaching myself to outcomes, and not be afraid to face things squarely, and to keep going.
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Old 09-28-2016, 05:30 PM
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Strong post, Soberpotamus.
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Old 09-28-2016, 05:56 PM
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Soberpotamus, what you said really resonates with me. One of my biggest issues was self sabotage when I did something good, and I was not able to really get sober till I understood this (lot's of therapy). Of course, when things did not go well, well this was a REALLY good reason to drink. So, I drank to celebrate and sabotage (not knowing this was the thing I was doing) and I drank to escape the bad.

The part of feeling feelings early on in sobriety was flat terrifying for me, since I had been numbing my feelings for years. Now I am just a lot more even keeled, I think maybe some of this is knowing that it is just not good for me to get too elated or too upset (maybe a survival thing).

Thanks for your comment. It's always good to revisit these things when someone else brings up that they share similar "things" like you did.
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Old 09-28-2016, 06:43 PM
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My work was negatively affected, mostly because my progress was slowed. The biggest obstacle wasn't being drunk, but the perma-hangover. I think the general feeling of feeling like crap all the time is an overlooked, horrible aspect of alcoholism. I just plain felt bad all the time, even when "sober."
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Old 09-28-2016, 06:50 PM
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I never drank at work but I had no problem inhaling Klonopin and then do my work as a software programmer. I am 90 days out now and I am still finding pieces of code that I was obviously stoned when I wrote it. If anyone ever saw it I would be mortified.
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Old 09-28-2016, 10:20 PM
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I was either drunk, half drunk, or going through withdrawals when I was doing wedding photography. The general progression started the other way of course, spend umpteen hours preparing and drinking the night before ensuring all my gear is ready, sleep for 2 or 3 hours, wake up, eye opener, make sure stuff is ready, get myself ready, head off, grab a few hideable drinks along the way to stave off withdrawals. Always got free drinks as the photog, so would refill as I needed once the night wore on, still seemed more sober than the rest...
The worst wedding I had was when I kept my sh!t together through about 18 hours of work running my arse off and driving all over gods creation and by the end of the night, I was invited to sit down and have a glass of wine with the staff who worked the wedding site and the owner. At this point my drinking was so bad no matter how fat and puffy I looked I could not eat, and sometimes I could not keep my drinks down. They fed me a teensy bit of food and then I ended up with the wine and the owner and him being about, oh 40 odd years older than me and trying to make out with me and tell me how beautiful I was... made a hasty polite exit, and had to call and have my then partner meet me to pick me up as I drove about half an hour and started retching up all the wine and dry heaved until he came and picked me up almost an hour later and drove me home around 4:30 in the morning.

That's like, one incident that sticks out. I went to another wedding, camped out in my van, I got totally hammered on the drive out to the campsite and got lost I lost my mind. Still rocked the wedding the next between going through withdrawals and being half in the bag.
Not something to be proud of. What I did was really good, how I did it was really bad. Which should tell you a monkey can operate a good camera.

Anyways, when I got back into the "real" workforce, I still struggled with not drinking every day or not drinking during or before work hours. It didn't matter if it was one or two or three or six. Looking back I never realized how long this had gone on for.

All the stupid rules and exceptions we put in place for ourselves just makes me shake my head. Like thinking no one knows or we won't get caught or that we just simply can't handle one single day sober.

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Old 09-29-2016, 02:44 AM
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Tryin hard not to get drunk/stoned on the job anymore, although I have probably been drunk/stoned at most of my jobs. I think I've played the last 10 or so gigs completely sober but in that period I had to cancel a gig cuz I got stressed out and was drunk the three days leading up to the performance. Fairly ****** shameful.
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Old 09-29-2016, 02:56 AM
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I work in an office. During my drinking days, I would drink 2 beers over 2 hours before work, leave a 6 pack in my car, then leave my desk every one and a half hours to go gulp down a beer. Every day.

Then, I lost my license but I kept it up, replacing the stash in the car with a 6 pack of cans in my laptop bag and go to the toilets and get rid of empties there.

It was a miracle I kept my job, and those days were hell.
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