Overwhelming regret

Old 09-27-2016, 08:36 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
fini's Avatar
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,206
you worry about how you could get lost in the pain.
to my mind, we have choice about that. you can "let yourself" get lost there or choose to focus elsewhere. i don't mean that in a "distract yourself" way, but in a real outward, other-focused orienting.
and i don't know how to convey that other than in these new-agey-sounding words.
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Old 09-27-2016, 08:50 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Fly N Buy's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,346
I can't change the past but what I do today and indeed shape the future. Lot's of living still to do! Best get after it..........

Sobriety is like driving a car. We go 90 mph and hit the brakes - all the jazzzz in the back seat come flying forward into the front compartment. Slowly, I clear away the wreckage of my past. That process started by doing a 4th step for me.

At 28 months sober, more is indeed revealed = We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

If I want what they have I do what they did! Work, work, work........
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Old 09-27-2016, 08:53 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Leshar's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,894
Hello Jeni, and congratulations on eight months!
I think we all understand the regret, the "what ifs". You are doing so well now and have happy, well adjusted children. I think it was SoberWolf who had this on his signature line at one time. "Don't stumble over something behind you". I think of this often. Being of clear mind now in sobriety, we are better able to be present and problem solve.
Forward! And all the best!
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Old 09-27-2016, 11:09 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Outonthetiles's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,561
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Congrats on 8 months Jeni

In the years I've known you, you've always been kind and thoughtful caring and loving and open to making amends. the rest of us, you've always been kinda unforgiving on yourself.

Beating yourself up over the past is a very alcoholic thing to do - there is no solution, no do overs, and the remedy for that insolubility often comes in the shape of a bottle....

I have a long hstory of things I could be resentful about, but now my relationship with my folks doesn't depend on what happened back in the 70s or the 80s... it's based on the now.

Be the best you you can be - and I'd bet anything, it's more than enough

gee Dee, you coulda let me know about that one.
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