New to this but need guidance
 

Self harming fool here who twice last week attempted suicide , has cut his leg twice so bad it needs stitches and is dealing with this alcohol monster . I'm trying to see the light but it's still not there . How much further do I have to go before something gives .. I can't seem to get why I think I understand this battle yet am not still fully prepared to say ... Enough is enough

Welcome Davey. I hope you are seeking some help for your issues, we only get so many chances at this. You need to go no farther at all if you choose...and there's a lot of people here who can help. Some were in the same situation as you as well, and we know that the first step is to get rid of the Alcohol. Stick around and let us know what you'd like to know.

You want a grip on control, and that's a very healthy thought to nurture. Trying to obtain it through cutting is one route - a negative one - that you have to focus on rerouting. You /want/ to get better - that's it. Stop the next thought after that. Your brain may be hard wired to add "but it will never get better". Nope, stop that thought before you get there.
It isn't easy, but you can do it. You've already taken the first step in recognizing you want to make a change. A positive change. It is a monster you're dealing with, and he fights dirty. He makes you believe you want to self harm, that there's only one way out. But your brain is yours, you own it, and you can tell that monster who is boss.

Many people don't get to "enough is enough". The monster doesn't give them the chance. Don't leave it up to that monster. You wouldn't be here if you still didn't have some control. You can do it. :) we are here for you.

Thanks for posting, Davey. Let us know how we can best support ya. Best wishes!

Hi Davey.

Welcome to SR

Happy you found us Davey welcome to a excellent source of sobriety here @ SR with lots of kind approachable people

You don't have to do this alone have you thought about joining the class of September ? everyone getting sober clean around the same time as each other it really helps seeing your not alone & the support is fantastic

Change your life today trust me it's possible

Hi Davey - Scott gave some great advice so I'd just like to say welcome to SR :)

D

Yes, Davey I understand for I also carry many scares from my drinking days. You can stay sober as many have. Make a firm decision to stop and join us.

M-Bob

Do you want to stop? Yes or no? If yes go to number 2.

2. Can you stop on your own power or do you need help?

Let us know if you need help. There are plenty of willing helpers here.

Recovery has started
 

Thanks all so much for the helpful replies . Fortunately I'm in hospital as we speak on a detox . It's not easy and it's not the nicest place but it's a start. The monster was so powerful in those last few days anything could happen . Anyway glad to hear you guys are here and I will be speaking more with you when I get physically fit :)

That's really good to hear Dave, sorry the Rehab isn't the nicest place but it is what you needed to be safe and get better. Hope your stay is productive, try and learn as much as you can while you are there and see what kind of resources they can connect you to when you get out. SR is always here too so don't be a stranger!