A vocal critic of my sobriety

Old 09-26-2016, 11:22 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
SoberCAH's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
Just my $ one can or will drag me anywhere. I don't tolerate conversations like that; in fact, I don't spend time with anyone who ever WOULD talk to me or try to engage me in that. I am, frankly, ruthless about where, how, when and with whom I spend my time. I need everyone around me to be 100% supportive of my life of recovery; in fact, it benefits EVERYONE that I am!

I hope your husband will be supportive, and I do think it's great that you "survived" this encounter. It just wouldn't be something I would choose to go to and perhaps have to deal with- not even earlier on, and still not at going on 8 months.

Stay strong.
Very well said.

With my recovery, I make the rules - no one else, particularly someone who is drinking.

I don't put myself in situations in which I know that I will be around a bunch of people drinking heavily.

This was particularly the case in early sobriety.

These days, I am fairly comfortable being around alcohol, although I still respect it as something that can end my life as I now know it.

My wife and I had a pre-game football party for 100 people on Saturday, and we served beer and Margaritas (actually, our bartender served the drinks), along with soft drinks, iced tea and bottled water and plenty of good food.

I was perfectly comfortable, and no one drank too much.

When we got to the game, though, the guy next to us drinks too much and curses too much.

I cut him a good bit of slack, but I am not going to listen to his profanity all season.

We will see how his behavior plays out, but I suspect that I will handle the matter at the next game.

My fraternity is having its annual get-together at a restaurant/bar a couple of miles from our home the weekend of October 15, so my wife and I will attend, at least until people start behaving like we did 40 years ago.

After that, we will go home and go to bed.

The next night, they are all getting together at the tavern I used to go to nightly until I got sober, but I have no interest in going back there.
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Old 09-26-2016, 02:52 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
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In my experience, the people whom I know drink too much have fallen into two stark camps: those who express respect for my giving up and sticking to it, and those who insist I should drink. I'm quite an easy-going person socially so I just tell the latter type "no" and then let them carry on.

I'm also single. I've been told by a "well-meaning" friend (after a dinner where he'd drunk lots of wine and was onto a Rusty Nail) that I would never find a guy who would appreciate a girl who was stone cold sober. Aussie blokes apparently can't deal with a sheila who doesn't drink.

Well, firstly, that's just rubbish. And secondly, if it does turn out more difficult to get into a relationship if I don't drink, that's just going to have to be the case. I'm not compromising my sobriety for anyone.
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Old 09-26-2016, 04:35 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
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Oona, was that my mother talking? I actually felt a little sad as we used to have a few glasses at dinner, hers well earned as she is caring full time for my dad. At 83 she is so patient. I think she knows the health part is better for her, we will make new kinds of memories.
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Old 09-26-2016, 09:05 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JeffreyAK View Post
In my experience, the only people bothered by my abstinence are people who have drinking problems themselves. I keep that in mind when someone makes me feel uncomfortable about not drinking.
This is so true. I immediately thought of a coworker of mine when I read this. I can tell that my non-drinking annoys her. And, you guessed it, she probably does have a problem.

People who can take it or leave it won't care.
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