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Try again, aye?

Old 09-22-2016, 03:38 PM
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Try again, aye?

I am going to spend the next couple of weeks trying to sober up. Day 1 again for maybe the 20th time. I do have the luxury of a great wife and a career that I can put on hold for a little bit. Not having either one of those two things would make this considerably more challenging. I plan on focusing primarily on alcohol for this first week, week two Iíll work on smoking less weed. It seems like staggering the two a bit might make it easier as long as I donít compensate in my weed smoking this first week.

I was hoping not to annoy my wife during this period but it is surly hard for her to get a good nightís sleep when Iím rolling in circles in a cold sweat for 5 hours a night. Even my dogís sleeping/feeding/walking schedule is now ****** up. Iím kinda getting first day fatigue, which is probably a good reason to work on this now.

In my case drinking has usually been about reducing the stress of my job. Some people are heavily self-defined by their careers and Iím probably one of those people. Iíve been a professional guitarist since I was 10 years old (Iím 32). By the time I was a teenager the fans were eagerly unpacking the party all around me. Even the bartenders would hand me shots out the back door while I was on break. To this day the majority of my gigs are in drinking establishments and many of my friends are brewers. It is going to be damn near impossible to navigate my occupational environment unless Iím completely sober. For example, just last week someone came to my gig (at a brewery that was giving me beer) and tipped me with 3 grams of homegrown kindbud. I have worked hard for over 20 years to get to the point that I can lead bands or play entire gigs alone, but either will be unsustainable without an abundance of clarity at this point. I feel a profound duty to go down with my ship if it comes to that. A good captain would probably just sober-the-****-up! :-) I shall try again. It would be nice to get some good sleep. Good luck, folks. Thanks.
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Old 09-22-2016, 06:14 PM
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Welcome to SR DolAndel. Glad to hear you have made the choice to get sober, you'll find a lot of good resources and support to do so here. I hope you can be the "Good Captain".
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Old 09-22-2016, 06:30 PM
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Dol, I think you can do this, seeking clarity may be your first mission but with less alcohol will come less nausea, other icky feelings that waste time and feel gross.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:06 AM
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Welcome, DolAndel,

The gigging can be difficult, no doubt. It is possible to do, though.

My BF is a bassist/lead vocalist, and he's never been a big drinker. Since I quit, he drinks even less. Around here, the shows are all bars, festivals, etc, so lots of alcohol flowing. He can do a four hour show and drink only water, he brings his own water bottle and keeps it with him.

As far as the shots, hard to say - I would either hand them off to someone else, or just let the bartenders know when you arrive that you don't want to drink (and you can say anything, you're under the weather, etc) and ask that they not give you any. You don't have to explain why.

Hang in there, you can do this! You'll feel much better for it.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by DolAndel View Post

hard for her to get a good nightís sleep when Iím rolling in circles in a cold sweat for 5 hours a night. Even my dogís sleeping/feeding/walking schedule is now ****** up.
I remember those sweaty days and nights when I sobered up. Actually mine went on for longer that most that I know. I would also wake up with sever nightmares. I found that all got better with some sober time under my belt.

Oh yes the dogs, they also shared in the suffering.

For the true drunk -- the sober life brings with it so many rewards.

Hang tight and stay sober today,
Bob
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Old 09-23-2016, 10:49 AM
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Anyone can stop drinking. I did it a thousand times. The trick is not to start again. That takes some effort in my experience. Do you have a plan to stay stopped? What are you willing to do?
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Old 09-23-2016, 12:16 PM
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Welcome to the Forum DolAndel!!
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Old 09-23-2016, 02:44 PM
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Great to have you with us, DolAndel! There's no doubt you can do this. We will help.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:06 AM
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Thanks, guys. Gonna go ahead and quit both at once, maybe it'll shorten the sleep disruptions.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Anyone can stop drinking. I did it a thousand times. The trick is not to start again. That takes some effort in my experience. Do you have a plan to stay stopped? What are you willing to do?
Have to agree. Getting Sober is the easy part. Staying sober is a whole other question. I do know there are many sober professional guitarists. Eric Clapton, Joe Walsh, and Keith Richards come to mind.
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Old 09-24-2016, 04:09 PM
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Hi DolAngel

I'm no Clapton, Walsh or Richards but I was a gigging muso. I actually lost my music career through my addiction. I messed up gigs, cancelled other gigs, and generally was a shambolic mess.

I had to make some big changes.

I took a long time off to get myself together and to get to a point where I knew I wanted to be a musician and not a 'rock star'.

A couple of years back I started playing again. I love playing sober, and I love not falling for the BS or free drinks, free buds and free whatever else is at hand.

I'm writing again, I'm back at the top of my form, and I'm as busy as I want to be - life is good on this side of the fence.

I think you've made great decision - welcome
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Old 09-25-2016, 05:43 AM
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I've managed to play my last 10 gigs or so sober, although I did have to cancel a gig cuz I was horribly hungover. I've usually been a sideman and could get away with quietly being wasted as long as I played well, but now I find myself standing in front of a mic stumbling over my words feeling too foggy and awkward to be effective. I never wanted to be a front man, but I might not have a choice. Gonna hafta sober up I guess.
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Old 09-25-2016, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by DolAndel View Post
In my case drinking has usually been about reducing the stress of my job.
Thanks for sharing, DolAndel. My addictive voice always tells me that I drink for good reasons, the stress of my job and career frequently being at the top of the list. The truth of the matter: I drink because I am alcoholic - and if I am not doing things to promote my recovery I'm doing things to promote my relapse.

Re: working in bars and dealing with offers of drinks: I have often noticed that me not drinking is often a much bigger deal to ME than it is to others. Many times, if I just say "I'm not drinking today", that's the end of it. And they usually don't ask again in a similar future situation.

Good luck - we are here for you.
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