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Bunny211 09-22-2016 09:02 AM

Frustrated with my symptoms/Sobriety is Hard
 
So I am almost 16 months sober. And since getting sober I have had so many medical issues that I am finding it hard to keep my head above water. Right now I've got a few biggies.

1. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (auto immune) which makes me feel stressed, anxious, depressed and tired a lot of the time. I am on meds and have sought dietary changes and homeopathy as well.
2. My PMS is INSANE. For 2 weeks out of each month I am chronically suicidal and have bursts of anger or I implode and want to kill myself.
3. I am undergoing genetic testing for the breast cancer gene as I am high risk.

The breast cancer gene issue - I am really not terribly worried about until I get the results..then I will worry. But, it is my INSANELY wild moods that are driving me nuts. I mean I've had to call in sick to work because I cannot stop crying, I cannot function it gets so bad. I've landed in the ER or Urgent Care 3 times already from major panic attacks. I am going through hosts of doctors trying to figure out what is wrong. My thyroid levels are now in range but that doesn't mean the symptoms go away. The PMS is out of control and I cannot take the pill because of high risk breast cancer history and blood clots. My homeopath has tried 3 different constitutional remedies on me with no luck. Both the urgent care nurse and my homeopath suggested mental health counseling....one even suggested I might be bi-polar. I don't WANT to take anti depressants until I know for sure that I need them - that this is not physical. I'm just frustrated as all hell with sobriety right now. It is just one struggle after another. And I hate to say it but I understand now why I drank. My mind will NOT shut up. It wants me dead.

UGH.

Just needed to rant to those who understand. I have nothing external that I can take to comfort me and my internal settings are so messed up right now...either physically or mentally...and I cannot seem to untangle them...that I am in a constant state of "fight or flight" and it is wearing me down. :( :(

stevieg46 09-22-2016 10:18 AM

Bunny I had an operation for an over active thyroid years ago , the symptoms were awful but the operation sorted it all out .

I was about 14 months sober when I was diagnosed with Bi Polar , I was hospitalized 3 times in a locked ward sober, I was on very heavy medication for about 7 years , I did not want it ''but I needed it '' , two years ago I read up on Bi Polar and found out that one can alter the part of the brain that houses the disturbance which creates manic and depressive behavior , they can be corrected by ''vigorous exercise and proper nutrition '' .

I followed the advice and I haven't had any drugs or medication for just over 2 years , I tapered off slowly and today I do not have any worries or problems that I cannot handle through the Steps , it is tough for you at the moment .
Women's problems I have no advice , my daughter suffers from Endimeteriosis (spelling ?) , she had terrible problems each month , she had a major hysterectomy when she was 34 that was 10 years ago , she is a lot better .

Anti depressants ? wisdom to know the difference , I know those that took them and they helped , but some I know still want them but do not need them , you as I said may ''need them but don't want them '' take them if necessary , we are not doctors , hope things improve for you , think about medication seriously if recommended by the doctor.take care

Stevie recovered 12 03 2006

ScottFromWI 09-22-2016 11:15 AM


Originally Posted by Bunny211 (Post 6145499)
. Both the urgent care nurse and my homeopath suggested mental health counseling....one even suggested I might be bi-polar. I don't WANT to take anti depressants until I know for sure that I need them - that this is not physical.

Mental health counseling doesn't always involve anti-depressants. Most counselors cannot even prescribe them actually.

If you have ruled out physical reasons for your symptoms I would agree with the nurses you talked with....give counseling a try. I personally deal with GAD and health anxiety and counseling has helped me tremendously. I've learned several strategies to deal with my daily worries about health and things in general that don't involve meds. I have tried a med too and there are lots of options down that road as well, they can even do genetic testing to find out which ones might work well or help you avoid side-effects.

It is truly amazing how much physcial distress a psyhcological condition can cause though, and I too went through a whole host of tests to basically have the doctors tell me nothing was wrong with me physically. It was frustrating as heck because I was convinced that something WAS wrong.

Cherrybreeze 09-22-2016 11:39 AM


Originally Posted by ScottFromWI (Post 6145603)
Mental health counseling doesn't always involve anti-depressants. Most counselors cannot even prescribe them actually.

If you have ruled out physical reasons for your symptoms I would agree with the nurses you talked with....give counseling a try. I personally deal with GAD and health anxiety and counseling has helped me tremendously. I've learned several strategies to deal with my daily worries about health and things in general that don't involve meds. I have tried a med too and there are lots of options down that road as well, they can even do genetic testing to find out which ones might work well or help you avoid side-effects.

It is truly amazing how much physcial distress a psyhcological condition can cause though, and I too went through a whole host of tests to basically have the doctors tell me nothing was wrong with me physically. It was frustrating as heck because I was convinced that something WAS wrong.

I agree with this, but also want to comment on the taking meds thing - you say you don't want to until you know you have to. You describe yourself as chronically suicidal two weeks out of the month (so half the time). That screams "need" to me?

Anti-depressants don't have to be a long-term thing, they are also prescribed for short-term, situational depression. I think therapy could definitely be beneficial, but trying an AD until you make some headway with it may not be a bad option.

Bunny211 09-23-2016 10:50 AM

Thanks everyone. I met with the endocrinologist today. She was aghast at how much thyroid hormone I was taking and thinks the dose needs to be decreased and that when the levels are correct I will feel much better. If, once my thyroid levels are in range, and the anxiety continues - I will seek mental health help. I already see a counselor. But I would be open to seeing someone for a medication consult. I feel better today knowing that I am not losing my mind!

Gottalife 09-23-2016 11:01 AM

Hi Bunny,
I haven't had yours or Stevie's experience, but I have been in some low spots over the years, and experience tells me they always pass, and my faith is based in that experience. I know you have done the work and, while you are in an awful place right now, something good will come of it.

It will pass and you will be much richer for the experience, experience that you can use for the benefit of others. My prayers are with you.

Anna 09-24-2016 01:49 PM

Bunny, I'm sorry that you are struggling so much. I hope that the endocrinologist is right and that the thyroid issue/medication will help clear things up. Like Scott, I have had to deal with anxiety issues since childhood. I didn't even know what it was until my late teens. There are some ways I've found to deal with anxiety that work pretty well for me. Here are 2 books with lots of idea and tips for dealing with anxiety without involving medication.

'When Panic Attacks' by David Burns MD
'From Panic to Power' by Lucinda Bassett

Dee74 09-24-2016 04:36 PM

Sorry I didn't see this thread til now Bunny - good advice here already - I'm wishing you all the best with everything.

I really believe that staying sober will work out for you - don't lose heart :)

D

sugarbear1 09-25-2016 06:41 AM

Look up PMDD, which is treatable.

BrendaChenowyth 09-25-2016 09:19 AM

I have a strong family history (going to start getting my mammograms at 35) but I don't think I will want the genetic screen!


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