I see a pattern with my perception.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I see a pattern with my perception.
I listened to this the other day and I had noticed some of my issues but this made it more clear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVt8ooZcLCs
But I'm noticing something. as some know i'm learning to play a new instrument. and I noticed something. if i go to practice and someone says oh wow you played that so well good job i think. "yeah sure comparitvely speaking to other newbies maybe i did but i still play like crap and yoru just saying that trying to encourage me but its not really true" and if someone points out my mistakes i think "you know you ******* what about all the things i did right dont you notice anything i did poroperly" I almost routinely walk int o practice nervoius but happy and leave depressed and miserable.
now this instrument is just a good example. It could be anything in life pay me a compliment oh your just being nice you dont really mean it or yeah sure thats great but what about the rest of the crap blah blah pull out the club. Tell me i did something wrong and i'm like hey you SOB that wasnt very nice what about my good qualities etc...
I'm an ******* *Sigh*
in the above video the guy talks bout 2 kids one gets put in a room full of all the toys in the world (he's the pesimist) the other gets put in a room full of horse crap (he's the optimist) the guy comes back to check on them the pescimist is complaining this toys ok but you gotta wind it up and that toys alright but it doesnt light up and that ones ok but i dont like the color. He checks on the one in the room full of horse manure and he's digging aroudn all happy the guy says wtf are you doing? he says with all this horse crap theres gotta be a pony in here somewhere an di'm gonna find it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVt8ooZcLCs
But I'm noticing something. as some know i'm learning to play a new instrument. and I noticed something. if i go to practice and someone says oh wow you played that so well good job i think. "yeah sure comparitvely speaking to other newbies maybe i did but i still play like crap and yoru just saying that trying to encourage me but its not really true" and if someone points out my mistakes i think "you know you ******* what about all the things i did right dont you notice anything i did poroperly" I almost routinely walk int o practice nervoius but happy and leave depressed and miserable.
now this instrument is just a good example. It could be anything in life pay me a compliment oh your just being nice you dont really mean it or yeah sure thats great but what about the rest of the crap blah blah pull out the club. Tell me i did something wrong and i'm like hey you SOB that wasnt very nice what about my good qualities etc...
I'm an ******* *Sigh*
in the above video the guy talks bout 2 kids one gets put in a room full of all the toys in the world (he's the pesimist) the other gets put in a room full of horse crap (he's the optimist) the guy comes back to check on them the pescimist is complaining this toys ok but you gotta wind it up and that toys alright but it doesnt light up and that ones ok but i dont like the color. He checks on the one in the room full of horse manure and he's digging aroudn all happy the guy says wtf are you doing? he says with all this horse crap theres gotta be a pony in here somewhere an di'm gonna find it!
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I love the kid story! Totally using that.
I definitely understand what you mean. My thinking is much more "child #2" now- I find the good. I often say how I am an interesting combination of my parents- my dad is one of the greatest optimists I have ever known while my mom is much more a skeptic, leaning towards a cynic (or well there, as the Brits would say, these days). Sober, I am way closer to my dad's worldview. It is such a better way to live.
I choose to be happy. It's part of my program of sobriety. Comparison is easy, and dejectedness is a reality sometimes, but I really try to bring it back to the present and focus on gratitude, and that helps tremendously with my level of peace and satisfaction.
I definitely understand what you mean. My thinking is much more "child #2" now- I find the good. I often say how I am an interesting combination of my parents- my dad is one of the greatest optimists I have ever known while my mom is much more a skeptic, leaning towards a cynic (or well there, as the Brits would say, these days). Sober, I am way closer to my dad's worldview. It is such a better way to live.
I choose to be happy. It's part of my program of sobriety. Comparison is easy, and dejectedness is a reality sometimes, but I really try to bring it back to the present and focus on gratitude, and that helps tremendously with my level of peace and satisfaction.
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yes i'm glad in my above example the reality is its no pressure i'm just learning this instrument and while there are some deadlines being thrown aroudn the reality is i can take it or leave it no ones got a gun to my head to perform by a certain day and if i'm not ready i'm not ready and so whatever. I shoudl not beat myself up over it. Tho I put a lot of pressure on myself anyhow.
I've also heard it said there can be a fine line between being optimistic and being dillusional. But i bet the same could be said about being pesimistic or being dillusional.
I"m a pesimist by nature but trying to be more optimistic. takes work for me.
I've also heard it said there can be a fine line between being optimistic and being dillusional. But i bet the same could be said about being pesimistic or being dillusional.
I"m a pesimist by nature but trying to be more optimistic. takes work for me.
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also this s just an extra curricular activity if you will. when i face this kinda stuff with more important things in life geeze it can really crush me and a lot of it is all just nonsense in my own head.
like the guy says in the talk its not about what happens to me in this life but how i react to what happens to me in this life.
my reaction is what turns things to crap not necesarily what happened to me.
like the guy says in the talk its not about what happens to me in this life but how i react to what happens to me in this life.
my reaction is what turns things to crap not necesarily what happened to me.
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