I'm giving up
 

So I go to get my driving records from the DMV for my ADSAP, and the papers say my license is suspended for a YEAR instead of 6 months. I figure thsi must be some mistake so I contact the DMV hotline and they say it's correct. :headbange

So that means I can't move like I planned too, I recently quit my job too and I was saving up to buy a car in January, but nope, looks like that's not going to happen. I asked if my 1st suspension for not blowing would credit my 2nd suspension. I mean I understand I deserve punishment but they didn't have to put the 2 suspensions together like that, and I didnt even know.

So here I sit drinking a bottle of wine, I really do believe I was put on this earth to suffer. I have social anxiety and have been horrible with women my entire life, I was planning on asking one of my crushes out in a few months, but now I can't. I was planning to move out my moms house too, but now I can't. I can't seem to find a job I like. I'm seriously considering suicide right now. I can't be without a car for that long. The buses down here are horrible and my mom can't keep driving me to work. That's not fair to her.

I really see no point in being sober, I have nothing waiting for me on the other side, No friends, no girlfriend, can't seem to find a job I like, college dropout, credit score is horrible. I'm thankful for all the support I got on here, but my life was never going anywhere. There's no point in being sober if you're life is just going to suck when you become sober.

Things take time to get better. I'm at 15 months sober and things are just now coming together. I think it is unrealistic to expect things to fall into place in a few months. Drinking certainly is NOT going to help at all. So you're going to consider suicide because you lost your license? Wow. I think you'd be a lot happier if you practiced some gratitude. Look around you and I am sure you will find a lot of things to be grateful for.

Please call one of these numbers if you are feeling suicidal YoungHyde. Drinking wont' help anything but you need to make sure you are safe first.

USA National Suicide Hotlines
Toll-Free / 24 hours / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433
1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Or, call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.

life will suck if you dont get sober tho thats a 100% garantee of that.

Theres people that dont even hae licenses and are happy as clams. Your pretty focused on how this is going to make your life suck for the next year. Can you try and focus on how its going to make your life better? What is good about all of it? I can garantee theres some good once you can find something latch on to it. Thats what i had to do. Many days all i had was gee the sun came up and i didnt drink *Sigh*. and I'd just try and focus on that despite the fact that it seemed like my life was burning down all around me. So long as i didnt drink in time my life got better often very painfully slowly but it did get better and I was a lot better off not drinking.

Or drink and watch it just stay the same or get worse.

Drinking will only make things more bleak.

An extra six months is not an eternity.

If you continue with your recovery, you will probably find that you are more at peace with yourself, and that will put you in a stronger position to handle the challenges of life.

Please don't throw in the towel.

In a year you are likely to be on much more solid ground.

Yeah, but who cares about my life? I really see no reason to be here, my life does nothing to contribute any good to anyone. I have no friends, no close relationships, no nothing. I'm simply here, it's been that way for a long time.

We care.
Please make the call, we need you here to help us stay sober too. It goes both ways.
You can get past this you just need to make the call.

A serious dedication to recovery will expand you as a person.

You will become much more content in your own skin--and in the process you will become more appealing to others.

We do. You do - you woudln't be here asking for help if you didn't.

Please call 911 or one of the numbers I listed if you are feeling this way, you aren't thinking rationally and need assistance. This is an emergency.

USA National Suicide Hotlines
Toll-Free / 24 hours / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433
1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Or, call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.

I revealed to my mother I was drinking again and she's going to evict me now, so it looks like i'll be homeless too as well.

As the others say - WE care.

We're are all here because we have felt we have reached rock bottom. And there is light ahead. Maybe not immediately ahead but it honestly is there.

I am a mother to a teenager. You say it's not fair for her to keep giving you a lift to work. I'm certain she doesn't mind. If anything she will be more than happy to. (And she wouldn't have done it to now if she didn't care).

She complains about it sometimes, I can't take that. If i'm such a burden to her perhaps it's best i'm evicted.

I think the most important thing you need to do is stop drinking right now YoungHyde. Drinking only causes more problems. All of the other things are kind of irrelevant until you can put down the bottle. Are you willing to do that?

Scott is right. First and foremost, you need to stop drinking. The other problems in your life are manageable. You can find a job you like, you can save money and buy a car at some point, you can move into your own place when you get a job. Things really will work out but stopping drinking is crucial.

And, we do care about what happens to you. I care what happens to you. And, I think you care too and you are here looking for help. So, believe you can do this.

A lot of people can say exactly the same about life at the end of their active alcoholism. The thing to remember is to not mistake the chicken for the egg. Drinking CAUSES those things. It's not a case of those things cause the drinking, because you know what, alcohol doesn't solve any of the problems you listed. But, getting sober together with working a good program of recovery can do, over time. Just removing the drink won't do it though, because life will always throw up some misfortune or discomfort from time to time. That's just life. No one gets a completely smooth ride of it no matter how it looks to others from the outside. Recovery is about learning to deal with setbacks (emotionally and practically ) instead of hiding from the problems in a bottle.

I hope you decide to ditch the booze and find some acceptance for the next 6 months. You got through the last 6 and you can get through the next, especially if you add in some more tools to your recovery plan. You could be in much worse places after all.

I dunno wtf i'm here for too to be honest. I've said it a zillion times I"m not even suppost to be here today! its true I should be dead with the nonsnese i was doing.

Now that i'm sober I still dont see some epic grandious purpose to my life. I likely might never see one either. But in my own little small world I'm important to my wife and kids. Even if I dont feel important at times to them I still em. That might be it for me too. I might just live and die having been another grain of sand that was good important in his very own small world. Aint nothing wrong with that it makes the world go round. The alternative would be considerably worse.

Even when life looks bleek the reality is life can and will go on. Life can and will change. Things do evolve move forward progress etc.. Things thankfully are transient and will not stay the same. Things will be good and things will be bad thats just how it is. But thankfully we are not stuck in any one predicament forever.

Ya never know whats around the corner either. could get hit by a bus could get win the lotto. We keep thinking about what tommorrow might be like but the reality is we have no friggen idea at all becuase it has not happened yet. What IS happening is right here irght now today in this moment I find if i stay right there rather then looking ahead and behind me i do better.

Dont look in the rear view mirror you aint headed that way. and dont sit there focusing on some future thats just not there good or bad we have no idea it hasnt happened.


If you keep drinking tho its pretty much garanteed things will be crap. Thats just how it always works out when booze is involved can never win that game.

Nothing good will come from drinking deep down you ultimately know that and I imagine what your feeling now is horrible but drinking will only amplify these horrible feelings in the end it doesn't even block the pain & being either blackout drunk or knockout drunk it never ends well

Stick around your surrounded by people who care about you Inc myself

In this together brother

I think everyone has value and it's not dependent on external things. Sure, having friends, a good job, etc., adds to someone's quality of life, but not having those things doesn't diminish the true value of a person. I believe everybody is born with a purpose. We are all here for a reason and I think everything happens for a reason. All the things going on with you, as terrible as they are, are leading you to whatever purpose you have in the future. I've had some pretty bad things happen in my life, and almost took my life several times because of it, so I'm speaking from experience. Turned out all those bad things led me to a better place. It might be helpful if you could focus on what you do have as little as it might seem right now, and what you can do to make things a productive as you can. This time next year, you'll be happy you did. John

How would it make your mom feel if you committed suicide?

Hi Younghyde,

How are you doing now? I know things can appear bleak at times, but you wouldn't be here posting if you didn't want help.

Did you tell your mom you were feeling suicidal? Have you called any of the numbers Scott have you?

There are lots of people on this site who do care, and want to see you stop drinking and start feeling better. Sometimes the strongest decision we can make is that we can't do this alone. This sounds like a good time to reach out for help.

If you are still feeling suicidal have your mom take you to the ER, they can help you immediately, and moving forward.

You can do this.

❤️ Delilah