LadyBug66

I feel like I've lost a very close friend. I miss my drink very much. I even tear up thinking I'll never get to be with my friend (drink) again.

Weird ....I know

Maudcat

Not weird. At. All. I felt like I had lost my best friend when I gave it up. The friend who helped me to de-stress, relax, see the world a teeny bit fuzzy. This was also the friend that caused me to argue with my husband, keep secrets from him and those who loved me, and made me feel awful in the morning. The way I coped: lots of A A meetings. Though at the end of the day, AA wasn't the program for me, it was an absolute godsend in the early days. Another way I coped was not to say never, as in "I'll never drink again." That was just too hard to wrap my head around. So I stayed in the now, saying, " I won't drink today." Today became tomorrow, and so on. It gets easier, I promise you, but the early days are hell. Good luck.

kittycat3

Are you still in Vegas? Perhaps the environment is aiding this feeling?

ScottFromWI

It's a Normal feeling. Just think it through for a bit though....a real friend doesn't make you wonder what you did the night before. A real friend doesn't make you miss work or cause dry heaves the day after you see them. And a real friend doesn't make you betray all your other friends and family just to be with them all the time. Alcohol is no friend at all.

Dee74

It's actually pretty common ladybug.

I know, for me, my relationship with alcohol was one of my longest and most enduring.

But it's like a toxic relationship where your partner abuses you mentally and physically. ...but even so, you stay though misguided love and fear.

The best outcome is to escape the relationship - after a while your head will clear and you'll see what you thought for so long was love was something else entirely.

You can do this

Quincy

Alcohol is no friend of mine. Alcohol had me believe we were friends for awhile. In actuality it was just a bunch of pick up lines. My real friends never treat me the way alcohol did.

Time2Rise

With a change in perception you can see that alcohol is not your friend and you're not missing out on a great relationship.

How you achieve that change in perspective is up to you, but Allen Carr's book Stop Drinking Now helped me.

Loekken

I still miss the drink some days, regardless of the havoc and misery it entailed. I sense this specific feeling gets easier to handle the longer you stay sober, though. The bottle was indeed also my best friend. It takes a while to let go of it.

emme99

Hi ladybug~
I've never quoted two people before but I think I figured it out The two statements below are so true for me. Please stay strong, you can get through this.

BullDog777

It's easy to romanticize this addiction.

In reality, atleast for me, it was a blood thirsty demon that ripped out my soul took, a dump on it, carved it up, and set it on fire. That's putting it mildly.

I hope you realize that was no friend of yours.

Soberpotamus

Remember ... it's a terribly imbalanced, abusive relationship. When you start romanticizing the drink, try and remind yourself of the hell that pervades it.

The hell is why you're here. You want it to stop.

zjw

yeah i felt like i had lost my left arm or something. or that my best friend had died. I had to remind myself that alcohol never really as a good friend at alla nd that there is little to be missed with all the bad stuff that came alone with it.

the whole thought of never again also scared me gave me anxiety and to be honest made me wanna drink. Thats why 1 day at a time works best for me.

I recall when i smoked i'd se a quit smoking comercial come on tv and what would i do? go outside and smoke. Same kinda process held true for booze just the thought of giving it up made me wanna drink all the more.

it eases in time and is normal. its like mourning the death fo a friend its insane too becuase it never really was a good friend.

Darwinia

I feel like that too. For so long alcohol was the solice after every hectic day at work, the joyous companion at sporting events and the social lubrication at parties. I miss it a lot.

aasharon90

Going thru the mourning process takes
time as we often hear time and time again.

We mourn our loveable pets, family
member, friends, a job, etc. as well
as our love and dependency on alcohol
or drugs.

It was for me a deadly crutch I couldn't,
didn't want to let got of and set me up
for a huge down fail. Failure and a near
death experience.

What do we do when someone close
us passes away. Do we give ourselves
time to mourn in a healthy way and
move forward living life the way they
would want us to be. Healthy, happy
and content. Or.....

Do we wallow in sorrow and immerse
ourselves in destructive behavior making
us sick and numbing our pain so we don't
have to face those uncomfortable feeling
in a normal healthy way.

I went thru the mourning process of losing
my addiction to alcohol yrs ago beginning
in rehab for 28 days. During that time I went
thru daily exercises and learning about my
addiction and its affects on me and those
around me. then was given a program of
recovery to incorporate in all my affairs once
I returned home.

For a fair amount of time I would reminisce
about all the fun I was missing at those wonderful
clubs I went to. All the music, strobe lights, strangers
who laughed, dance and behaved like me when
under the influence of liquid poison.

As time went on and the longer I remained
sober, I eventually learned and realized that
none of those folks I met at the clubs were
truly my friends and most if not all of them
possibly could still be there today.

I eventually learned that alcohol was
robbing me of a healthier quality of life.
It didn't happen over time, but for each
new sober event became small miracles
in sobriety and life that never matched
one single drunk hungover moment I ever
had.

I don't mourn the addiction of alcohol
I had for a number of yrs. However, today
I celebrate each and ever sober day I
experience with passion and gratefulness.

The difference with losing love ones
and alcohol is that loved ones would
want us to not mourn them forever
where as alcohol could care less if I
mourned it or not. All it wants is to destroy
and take away ever ounce of freedom
I have for myself along with self worth,
happiness, honesty, etc.

Stand up to king alcohol and with your
sword of recovery, strike it down so it
will never stand taller than you as you
continue to wear your recovery armor
each day remaining strong, sober and
the person you are meant to be.

LadyBug66

Thanks guys, I do think Vegas was making things harder for me. It's still hard for me to imagine going out and have a fun night without drinking. It is everywhere there - 24 hours a day! And nobody thinks a thing about seeing someone drinking at 8:00am ! LOL I am better now that I'm home and I am glad I didn't drink while there. Oh!!! The guy sitting next to me on the plane trip home had 2 jacks with beer! I was thinking MAN can I get a break???!!! LOL

billdolfski

I feel like I can relate. It's been such an integral part of my life if and when I do stop... it's going to be really weird.

LadyBug66

It has been weird for me Billdolfski. I still have trouble thinking I can have a fun night out without drinking.

billdolfski

I'm trying not to think about it. I still haven't decided to quit yet. I'm just going on hiatus right now. I also don't like the idea of thinking about how I might not be able to do something I like because I can't control my issues.

LadyBug66

It truly sucks because I love to drink. Once I start I don't stop until either I pass out or get sick. Since I have quit I have noticed that I get much more accomplished in my spare time. Before I quit .... I would make me a drink and start a project and then not finish it or really screw it up because I got drunk while doing it.

MIRecovery

The problem is your friend was trying to kill you but not before you had given away everything you loved and cherished