Mountainmanbob

They say that we don't stay sober for others.
Well then, I will call them a very nice side benefit.

A happy Queen make for a Happy King.

Note -- my Queen was very unhappy when I was drinking.

How is your Queen or King doing today ?

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob

Coldfusion

My queen was a drinker too. We may not stay sober for others, but we sure can drink for others!

schnappi99

My queen and I talked a bit this morning, I was on program so listened and didn't correct or critique, instead worked on empathy and participated with respect to where and how I identified. A big change from a couple years ago; I really like not living in a state of exasperation and frustration and judgement- and thus, isolation.

Dave42001

My queen drank more than me.. Now she's my ex queen!! Evil #%****]^!

But I'm 515 days sober today so the good lord knew something I didn't, once again!!!!

Great to be alive and sober today!!

Bobbieka

My king (and also the royal subjects) are all extremely happy I am not drinking. If I didn't do it for them initially, the difference in our royal court has definitely made it all worthwhile.

Mountainmanbob

Thank you for sharing that was so funny I laughed and laughed and yes I forgot to mention the Royal Subjects my children are also very pleased that I'm not drinking today have a blessed day Bob

zjw

I think i dont realize all the benefits there are for others that I do not drink any longer. Maybe because I currently dont see all the negatives that could be happening instead. If that makes any sense.

I also notice that jsut because I dont drink doesnt mean that my wife or whomever else wont be miserable or ticked off at me about something else. IE theres always something it seems.

I guess for it all just is what it is Either way really.

But I know I feel better and happier sober. and that ultimately this gives me and those around me the best fighting chance at this game of life. Basicly I've just upped my odds at success.

Mountainmanbob

I always say that, we have a fighting chance now that we are sober. True, the odds in this household were slight when drinking.
M-Bob

MIRecovery

My marriage was just about at it's end. Today it is better than it has ever been. I got sober for me but I sure as heck didn't want to lose the love of my life

KAD

I drove all my queens away. Now that I'm almost a year and a half sober, there's still a vacancy in the castle.

Soberpotamus

My drinking was the largest and most obvious problem in our young marriage. Getting sober was necessary, for both myself as an individual and for the marriage as a team. His suffering certainly was a big reason for me quitting at the time I chose to quit. Our future was in jeopardy, easily.

That aside, getting sober removed that big problem and now I can see all the other problems.

The question remains as to whether this marriage is worth saving, and it has a whole lot to do with how he chooses to respond to me as a sober person. So far, it ain't great.

He isn't keen on some of the changes that have taken place in me and how I've chosen to be as a person. Now, I am staying sober primarily for ME. He just gets the side benefits.

zjw

I hope he comes around soberpotamus. I know it was a struggle in my marriage for bit as the new me emerged from the rubble. In my case i guess my wife had no idea wtf this new person was all she ever really new was the drunk me etc.. She even said numerous times i'm not the person she married some of that is good some of that is bad i bet! oh well am what i am. And she seems happier with me anyhow.

I agree about upping the odds mountainman its like anything that could be potentially harmful in someway if we avoid it we at least up our odds if anything of a better quality of life. Still not garantee but I'd rather have the odds in my favor at least.

Soberpotamus

Thanks, Zjw. He has said just that -- I'm not the same person he married.

Ya think?? Lol.

Loekken

My Queen left me.

KAD

I ran into a similar situation with my ex-girlfriend. I put her through a lot with my frequent relapses, hiding, deception, lying. We've maintained a fairly close friendship since we met around 24 years ago. But now I think we're both finding out who I really am. We're still friends, but the dynamic is definitely different.

August252015

Interesting topic....

My King and I are both sober and we talk about every aspect of our recovery program, share devotionals, meeting stuff, whatever "secular" books we read, really any and all life-building stuff we can get our hands on. We dated in high school and reconnected this summer - once both of us were already sober. We talk all the time about the fact that our relationship is completely different from any either of us has tried before, and we are working individually and together to build the strongest foundation for the long run. His ex-Queen stayed a drinker and that was one of the main factors in their divorce. I had my own enabling/drinking relationship(s). I couldn't be with someone who wasn't committed to sobriety, and the fact that our efforts line up so closely is amazing. I wouldn't be the person who deserves this kind of relationship, nor would he, if we were still drinking.

I should add to this that no matter how much I love him, I will not be able to stay in a relationship with him if he were to drink again. That simply won't work for me.

Delizadee

There's only one throne in this castle, the Queen has exiled the ex-King and is much richer for it.
The young princess really rules the castle. The other royal subjects may have abdicated, but hopefully they will maintain good relations.

Still trying to figure out the state of affairs on all fronts.

MIRecovery

Tell him no I am not, but what you are getting instead is SP 2.0 the new and improved version and it didn't cost you a dime. What a deal!

Dee74

I'm a republican, not a monarchist

I actually wasn't able to stay sober in two long term relationships...

So I'm glad I got sober before I met my current partner.
She only knows the real me, not the drunk one

D

Soberpotamus

I will tell him, MIR.