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They say that we don't stay sober for others ???

Old 09-15-2016, 06:01 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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We lived through our friend/next door neighbors death by liver disease in July.
I stopped drinking, he didn't. He retired, I work 40+ hours and drive a great distance. He cooks, cleans, does errands, supports my efforts though it came as a surprise that I was stopping altogether. I am different, so is he, grief does that anyways. Only bad part is when he's drinking and rambling on and on, about love,
whatever........
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Old 09-15-2016, 06:08 PM
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When I got sober, at first it was for my dogs and cats, so that I could give them better care than my drunken slipshod care.

But the longer I'm sober, the more I realize it really is for me. They're just getting the benefits of my sobriety.
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Old 09-15-2016, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberpotamus View Post
I will tell him, MIR.
You can also tell him it is a good thing because version 1.0 had a lot of really bad bugs and was prone to unrecoverable and sometimes fatal errors
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Old 09-20-2016, 04:35 AM
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Staying sober for others.
Just thought of one who wanted me to stop drinking ASAP.
The judge told me that, "I had better not get caught drinking again."

As a common drunk, I was once again in trouble with the law within 2 weeks of being told to stop drinking. Yes, the judge saw the approaching train wreck.

M-Bob
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Old 09-20-2016, 05:25 AM
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I always say I got clean for my daughter. I think my wife had checked out of the marriage a long time ago. Detaching was her way of surviving the mess. I don't think she thought I'd be able to get clean again. I can understand that.

It's taken months to rebuild trust, but I'm glad the love is still there.

Truth be told, I tell myself it's for my wife and daughter, because i just don't think i can do it for me. i don't know if i believe i deserve the redemption.

However it came about, and however it really is, i don't care. I'm just glad there's still a reason...or two.
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Old 09-20-2016, 05:54 AM
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good reminder

Originally Posted by BullDog777 View Post

I always say I got clean for my daughter.

However it came about, and however it really is, i don't care. I'm just glad there's still a reason...or two.
Yes, good reminder for I know of many who have sobered up only to find that all in their lives are gone. A friend who keeps some bee hives here on our property has a 17 year old daughter and ex wife and both still even after several years of sobriety want nothing to do with him. It's a heart breaker listening to his story.

I have heard my son tell his drunken friend who needs to sober up that, "if my dad can sober up anybody can."
Yes, he saw me through some crazy times when he was young.

A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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Old 09-20-2016, 11:17 PM
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I hope that we can stay sober for others because otherwise I will lose my beautiful fiancÚ and even though i want to drink I want her more. I haven't drank since Sunday morning it's now Wednesday afternoon it's not very long but it's a start. I just keep thinking don't drink today whatever you do .
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Old 09-21-2016, 12:18 AM
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I sobered up to save myself first. I saw it all starting to swirl around the drain.

The impact on my family has been huge. I had hoped that would be the case if I could stop. I realized that I could not do anything to help my family if I couldn't save myself first.

Great topic M-Bob!
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Old 10-12-2016, 12:24 AM
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I'm just not sure because,
visiting the judge has sobered up more than a few.

M-Bob
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Old 10-12-2016, 01:10 AM
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I don't see anything wrong per se in saying you are sober for others - because others surely benefit from it, potentially.
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Old 10-12-2016, 01:50 AM
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Hello Mountain Man.
Im not there yet but im getting sober for my two girls.
One is nearly 4 and the other has lived twenty years with an alcoholic.
She says she's addicted to me ....
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Old 10-12-2016, 02:27 AM
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We don't stay sober for others.

I have always had a little bit of a problem with this saying because I think there are two slightly different ways to interpret it's meaning. In the first (and IMO correct way) the statement means that we should not get sober because other people want us to get sober. If we attempt to get sober due to other peoples desire, we do so for the wrong reason. Their desire is not a good reason.

What is a good reason is to quit drinking for other peoples benefit. Hopefully it is not the exclusive reason for sobriety but it might be a good start. The desire to benefit them allows us to take ownership of that desire to quit.
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Old 10-14-2016, 09:10 AM
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Mean as a rattle snake.......Ha!

I pondered your question as we all have over periods of time. The thought hit me today that I stay sober as living amends to the world at large and no one, myself included, in particular.

Not trying to sound grandiose, but it's true. I remain available, on the clock when needed by the spirit of the universe.

Two nights back a friend called at 930 pm with car trouble. His wife and kids were in the car which died.......motor seized, it seems. He called, I went. Not long ago, I would have been out of play. Heck, somebody thought I could help at 930 at night.

That's the miracle.

Wife, son/daughter, friend and me - or those nameless faces.That's who's I stay sober for today. That's the way the universe prefers it, I think
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Old 10-14-2016, 09:53 AM
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There are a few "others" who would not be as close to me today as they are if I was drinking. My wife for one.
Bob
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Old 10-14-2016, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob View Post
There are a few "others" who would not be as close to me today as they are if I was drinking. My wife for one.
Bob
Indeed. I was just realizing the slowly widening circle of people with whom I'm associated now. It is likely they would want nothing to do with the old, drunk me. I don't stay sober for them, but it sure does provide a powerful incentive to stay that way.
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Old 10-14-2016, 06:16 PM
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Happy wife - happy life.
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Old 10-14-2016, 06:17 PM
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I didn't become sober for others but I can certainly love my loved ones better, connect more often with friends, and serve others better, sober.
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