Acheleus

If you were like me you may have consumed alcohol to forget about your problems, to put responsibilities off for one more day, to not rock the boat and just "escape" for a little while.

Well I quit drinking and I have finally--after 14 months of recovery--come to realize that I have to stand up and take responsibility for my own life.

My relationship sucks and is detrimental to my sobriety? I need to stand up for myself, set clear boundaries, and resolve to end the relationship if that is necessary.

I don't like smoking? Well I need to formulate a plan and quit.

And so on.

I have learned ( even though I am very stubborn and it takes me a long time to learn anything) that I have to stand up for myself and not allow people to hurt me. I'm not hurting myself with alcohol any longer but I have let people hurt me in my sobriety.

Maybe people can relate to this or not but, for me, recognizing my own "half assness" about standing up for myself is clearing away a lot of remorse, self-pity, and moping.

NO more moping! Make changes and grow. This is what I tell myself every day. So I went on a long walk/jog and played the piano. At home I read a recovery book I want to recommend. It is called Out of The Wreck I Riseand it is great. Look it up.

Hawkeye13

Wonderful post Ach--you are growing and learning to care for yourself in leaps and bounds.
It's great to see--you are an example of recovery in action, not just quitting drinking

ScottFromWI

I would agree with Hawkeye 100% Acheleus, you have come a very long way in your recovery and this is a fantastic statement you've made. My heartfelt congratulations to you for making this move and following up with action on your own behalf.

SoberCAH

I go through life gently, and not with a clenched fist.

But anyone who is going to try to run over me will have to leave a boot print on my chest.

I try to see what I can add to almost every situation.

I go through life talking to people who are working menial jobs and try to thank them and lift them up.

In my life of work, though, people routinely try to run over me or my clients, and I would never consider acquiescing or capitulating.

I also let people know, when necessary, that I make the rules when it comes to my sobriety.

If I'm not comfortable with a circumstance or person, I decline to proceed further and remove myself, irrespective of whether I offend someone.

Good for you for all of your progress.

Soberwolf

Congratulations Ach

nonblonde

Very inspiring. I think it's fair to say that "boundary issues" are pretty darn prevalent with addiction issues. It seems we are either being stomped on or guilty of the stomping...like the word "no" (whether that be giving one or sometimes receiving one) is not in the vocabulary.

I once heard something along the lines of "if you are unable to say no to yourself, than you typically can't with anyone else either".

Care for yourself and let go of what hinders that.

PurpleKnight

A very positive post Ach, great stuff!!

Kaneda8888

Good for you Ach ! You sound so much stronger and determined !