sobrietycounts

Hi I log in as Sobrietycounts but have not been living up to that name and I really am tired of feeling like this. I am going to go into treatment for the fifth time. Will it last? I sure hope so. I am at a point where I am alienating myself from friends and family AGAIN no trust from anyone. But I can not really blame them it is me and only me. I have a lot of people who support my sobriety but always find a way to screw that up. Thought the last time I went to treatment I was really going to make it. I felt really good coming out had friends come to visit and they told my first ex-wife that they thought I was really going to make it. Did I fool them or did I really believe? You know I dont think I can answer that ? right now. I feel ashamed and embarrassed going in five times but i know I need it cause going to AA right now is not good cause I do not make it there.
What do I need to do? Heck I dont know. I have been having anxiety attacks about quitting cause it has been my life for 25 years. Like losing a close friend and never going to be able to talk and hang out together ever again.
Well thanks for the ears and it really helped me calm down a bit.
TY Again

TorontoGuy28

All the best sobreitycounts, I'll keep you in my prayers !! You can beat this thing !!

1Marty

Hello, try not to be too hard on yourself. Even though you have failed many times in the past, you need to keep a good attitude about this time. The past is the past. It can only ruin your future if you allow it to. So make a commitment to do anything necessary to stay sober. Take advice from others with some good sobriety behind them. Believe that this will be the time! Pray and trust in God.

best

Congratulations on getting back up. To keep trying is a good thing. It is when we stop trying that we won't stop the drinking.
Good choice.
For the 5 times... look at what you are doing that gets you started again.
For me it would be picking up that first one. I can say no to one and if I make sure that the first one is the one I say no to... I won't start back again.

Take what you have learned. Go to rehab. Come out and use what you have learned. Get to meetings and work for the things you want.
Want to stop the negative feelings?
The hangovers?
The problems drinking can bring?
Don't pick up the first drink.
I know you can say no to one. You know you can as well.
Say no to the first one, seek the support of meetings. work the steps daily and then enjoy the sober life. It is a good life and it is a life we can live with.
If we keep doing the same things, we will keep getting the same results.
keep picking up the first one or... stop picking up the first one?
If you want the sober life, you know what would work best.
and meetings and the support you can get there does help us stay sober.
Work the steps and show up to those meetings.

Music

I felt this same way. But you know what? When I realized my best friend was trying to kill me, I dumped it. Anxiety or no anxiety. I can learn to get over anxiety. I can't learn to get over "dead."

cwohio

at least you are still trying to get sober and have not given up, even after 5 tries! good luck to you - i wish my ah would at least keep trying. that shows there is hope for your recovery! don't be embarassed - you should be proud that you are still willing to try!


hugs - cwohio

sobrietycounts

Thank You for the replies. I really appreciate the feedback. Just got out of treatment and I feel fantastic. It was a journey that was well worth it. I will continue my program with the support of A.A. and friends that I met and this site.
I read while I was in treatment "I am liberated from dreaming the impossible dream and finally free to live the possible dream". That hit home for me and it is really where I want to go.

Again thanks

lonlion

Sobriety Counts.

I disagree with you. I believe you are living up to your name. If not you would not be going into rehab again. I find your humility touching. You are truly honest with yourself and have such determination. Thats what 5 times says to me.

I only pray that if I relapse again, I have your determination!

Thoughts and prayers to you
Diana

mikee

Can relate:From the beginning, my "best friend,"< partener in crime is more like it >
can amazingly always manage to dodge the jailhouse also.
S/C Keep trying,then succeed, get it back.