Would this be a selfish motive??

Old 09-13-2016, 12:45 PM
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Would this be a selfish motive??

I've been reading a lot here on SR, mostly here in the Alcohol forum plus in the Newcomers forum as well. I got thinking... when you were in the early stages of sobriety (as I still consider myself to be) did you want to do something to improve yourself, besides stay sober? Like something to obviously benefit yourself, but also to show others that it is possible to overcome addiction?

In example:
Lose weight/get fit.
Write a book & get published.
New career move.
Go back to school.

Thoughts on this?? I am really considering training for a full marathon...
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:08 PM
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Why in the world would that be selfish? Sobriety is a pretty big lifestyle change that leaves a heck of a lot of space in your life (where you used to be drinking or hungover). I once heard that it is far easier to replace something than simply "quit" something. And I believe that. Working towards new healthy goals help us to stay on path and reap the rewards of sobriety.

I think it's a fantastic idea.
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:11 PM
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No. It takes enough effort just to not drink. But good luck to you.
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:13 PM
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I choose to become alcohol free in July of 2014 and ran a 50k in October of 2105. My previous longest run had been a 10k.

Go after that marathon!
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:20 PM
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Journalling helped me and therapy too
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:30 PM
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By many definitions, sobriety is exactly that - doing things to improve yourself. "Not Drinking" is really just the first step.
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Old 09-13-2016, 01:59 PM
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I started a long-term volunteer position which was exactly what I needed to support my recovery at the time. Go for the marathon!
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Old 09-13-2016, 02:12 PM
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I don't think that would be selfish at all, on the contrary, I think it's a great idea.
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Old 09-13-2016, 02:43 PM
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If it helps everybody - it ain't selfish.
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Old 09-13-2016, 03:08 PM
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Not at all. I think it's very pro life.
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Old 09-13-2016, 03:18 PM
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I wanted to be the best me I could be - not to show anyone else but just to atone, I guess for those wasted years.

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Old 09-13-2016, 03:27 PM
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Yes, it was partly atonement for me too. Also a great distraction - I needed to think about something besides alcohol. I hope you do it steve.
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Old 09-13-2016, 04:14 PM
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Great idea as long as whatever it is does not divert you from the life saving business of recovery. That must always be your number one priority.
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Old 09-13-2016, 04:19 PM
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Absolutely!! Go for the things you want to do now- you have a whole new life to live.

Personally, there are a lot of things I want to do and at closing in on 7mo, I have started some of them. I was very sick when I quit so I have had to pace myself. Two things I have done that I am proud of are starting to run again - I committed to three races over July/Aug/Sep and the third is this coming weekend; short distances compared to the marathon I once did, but amazing given where I was not that long ago....and I published my newest blog, since I am FINALLY inspired and creative and productive again. This one is absolutely a testament to where my life is and how I am seeking the best possible version of....everything.

We are fortunate to have these chances- I want to use up and give out all my talents!
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Old 09-13-2016, 09:24 PM
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I'm curious Steve, why do feel self improvement might be selfish?
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Old 09-14-2016, 03:35 AM
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We spent most (if not all) of our free time drinking, so of course we have to find something else to occupy our time once we quit. Hopefully, it's something constructive. There's no reason to feel guilty about doing things for yourself, so long as you're not hurting anybody else in the process.
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Old 09-14-2016, 08:47 PM
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I do not think that is selfish at all. I think it is awesome! Once I got sober I felt like I finally walked out of a dark cave after being trapped for years. By all means stay in the positive side of sobriety.
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Old 09-15-2016, 06:31 AM
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An important distinction between selfish and self care. We MUST do the latter- it is crucial to our sobriety. The things we are discussing here are in the self-care category.
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Old 09-15-2016, 08:00 AM
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Not selfish at all. Everyone has their reasons for sobriety and all the things you listed happen whether you quit for those reasons or not.
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Old 09-15-2016, 08:08 AM
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Investing time, money, and energy into your talents, passions, and interests isn't selfish. The world needs that from you. The rest of the world benefits when you hone your skills and talents. When you offer something to the world that's yours alone, it's a gift. Even if we have to pay for it. When you better yourself through education, career changes, etc you tend to produce better 'things' for others. That's hardly selfish. Read Seth Godin's blog and newsletters.
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