Just checking in
 

Really bad head at the moment. Who would've thought one's own head would want to torture one's own self. Just checking in. Still sober since the slip I had. No interest in drinking at all. I'm sorry I can't contribute any further.

yeah gotta be careful of the mind it'll take you on the worst trips to nowhere but misery if not careful.

hang in there.

Have you thought how you might change the bad head?

I know the torture you describe all too well.

I do find if I seek company, get out of bed, get out of my home, I feel a bit better.
It helps being distracted I find.
Does not have to be much - a walk, a hike, a trip to the supermarket or a cup of tea somewhere and a read of the papers.

I wish you the best xx

I started my new job monday, so that's been keeping me busy this week, then I come home and talk to my mother about my day etc, get some washing done, shower shave etc, then pretty much go to bed to be up in the morning. Thanks for your replies. Such a sense of dread I can't explain. I don't know what I have to dread. Debt? Being dealt with - for the past 7 months. Drink? I'm sober and not drinking for ****. I even have a sense of dread that police will turn up at my door for something I've done, even though I know I've done nothing to warrant such presence at my front door. I don't get it. It sucks.

Welcome back Jimmy, glad to hear you are still sober.

That dread is most likely anxiety or depression, or maybe something else too. It's common in early sobriety but may also be systemic, it was for me. Stopping the drink is only the beginning...then we need to address the actually issues we have been hiding from all that time. Have you considered talking with a counselor?

I've considered all this, Scott. I doubt I'll be able to fit it around work. I mean, unless I could find someone who could do sessions at 7pm (which i doubt and haven't found yet). I wouldn't trust myself with meds either so seems like counselling is the only way, yet, here we are - doesn't look like i can get it.

Where there is a will there is a way Jimmy. There are counselors that work in the evening and it's also possible you could take off an hour from work some time in the future, just like if you had a dentist or dr appointment - people do it all the time. You could even do it over lunch or before work.

There are a lot of methods to treat psychological conditions that don't involve meds too. If it's something you think might help check out your local options.