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-   -   the real work truly starts after sobriety (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/396802-real-work-truly-starts-after-sobriety.html)

George89 08-29-2016 03:35 PM

the real work truly starts after sobriety
 
I just wanted to share this realization I had this weekend where I was sober. Whilst many of you already know and have experienced, I realized that stopping drinking (and drugs) is not the whole story. That's just the beginning!

Once we clear away the distraction of addiction, we are truly left with ourselves, and I think it's incredibly rewarding to begin to see what and who we are and peel back the layers.

With alcohol, I only realized how it has been such a crutch for me especially on the weekends. This weekend, I went to a barbecue and without drinking, it felt like turning up to a gun fight at the ok coral with a flower. It did feel like I had no armor, that I could take nothing to 'protect' me or 'cover' me up, or make me feel good chemically. It was just me as I was, and it was so interesting to observe how I felt in the social situation at first.

I also thought, this is how real confidence is built ! By getting used to being you, the natural version of you. It truly feels like we have to get to know ourselves from scratch and I've heard that before from people recovering, that we have to get to know the new us.

It's amazing how alcohol keeps so many in a perpetual funk..without clarity of mind and without good energy and awareness that comes with sobriety, it's so much harder to heal what is inside us and transform ourselves as people..

Grateful and excited to get to know me:)

tomsteve 08-29-2016 03:41 PM

excellent words there, George, that I can relate to.
I knew what I was when I got sober- an alcoholic.
then it was time to find out WHO I was. I put in a lot of work on that- saw just a wee bit-o-stuff of who I was that I wasn't too happy about.
then to footwork of changing.
worth every bit-o-work,too!

keep it up,george!

EightyThree 08-29-2016 03:57 PM

To me it's about getting honest with myself. Getting rid of the baggage and dealing with the resentments that I keep pushing down. I did a lot of bad things when I was drinking. I was a liar, cheater and a thief. When I drink I blame others and don't look at my role in the situations. To me it's about cleaning house, becoming spiritually fit and then living in today. If something happens that irks me, I recognize it. If I was wrong, I apologize. I have a lot of work as I am just beginning the steps but I can still be the best person I can be in the mean time

nonblonde 08-29-2016 04:10 PM


Originally Posted by George89 (Post 6113667)
I also thought, this is how real confidence is built ! By getting used to being you, the natural version of you.

Ha. I really like how you put that.

awuh1 08-29-2016 04:38 PM

Yes there's much adjusting for most people when drinking is no longer a viable option. Some people seem to limit their recovery to just not drinking. I think that's a mistake. Alcohol stifled our growth as human beings. When we quit many of the causes and conditions of our drinking remain. Sobriety becomes much more meaningful when these things are addressed.

People who understand this early in their journey are fortunate.

Gottalife 08-29-2016 06:12 PM

One of the things that active alcoholism deprived me of was the opportunity to grow and develop as a human being.

Gaining freedom from alcohol through the steps has given me that opportunity back. I have been able to grow and develop just like the rest of the human race, albeit I got off to a late start. And it is a life time thing.

As Awuh1 said, just not drinking would have been a mistake. For me such an approach was unsustainable because I would not have been free from alcohol. Everday had to be filled with thoughts of not drinking or else!

The rewards I have found through rejoining the human race far exceed the effort required of me in the steps. My mind does not need to be occupied with thoughts of not drinking. That barrier to life has been removed.

EightyThree 08-29-2016 06:44 PM

We can stop, attend meetings, talk to others and do service work and it helps us not to drink. Like awuh1 says it's more than just putting down the drink. It's working on ourselves. There's something that keeps us going back to drinking abnormally. I was a dry drunk for years and years. I had a year and a half sobriety. I got a medallion. I spoke and did the slogans at meetings. But I still have that emotional baggage stuffed deep down in me and when it would surface the answer was to push it back down with alcohol

SnazzyDresser 08-29-2016 08:38 PM

Very true and very well put, George87!

Delilah1 08-29-2016 09:00 PM

So very true, thanks for sharing this.:-)

fantail 08-29-2016 09:03 PM


Originally Posted by George89 (Post 6113667)
I also thought, this is how real confidence is built ! By getting used to being you, the natural version of you. It truly feels like we have to get to know ourselves from scratch and I've heard that before from people recovering, that we have to get to know the new us.

Yes! That's exactly it. Sobriety has given me a completely new level of social confidence because for over a year now I've had to just be 100% me all the time, whatever mood I'm in, however I feel at any particular social setting. Part of building up that confidence is being uncomfortable, yes. But it's great that you can see how you're growing from it, because you are.


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