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Old 08-29-2016, 09:04 AM
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Confide

Today over lunch I'm going to confide in a friend that I have a drinking problem and I have quit drinking and am doing SoberRecovery online type of counseling. I have never told anyone I have a problem and I don't think people know the extent my drinking got to because I was doing it alone at home. I am nervous.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:27 AM
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Just make sure you trust this person.
Sometimes it is best to keep some things to ourselves or at least anonymous.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:54 AM
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it can be very sobering telling others tho. i dunno something about saying it out loud makes it more real to me.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:58 AM
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Why do you want to confide in them?

I think it's a worthy question. I think if they are a person you're confident can help support you and talk to you, it's a good idea, if they are not, it's probably more harm than good. I think some people get stuck on this idea of accountability, but it doesn't make sense to me. You need to quit for your own reasons, so turning those reasons inside out so that you're quitting because other people are watching is not that effective.

Good luck anyway!
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:34 AM
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What's making you want to tell someone
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:47 AM
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I thought it was a step in recovery.
#3

1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol.

2. We got honest with ourselves.

3. We got honest with another person, in confidence.

4. We made amends for harms done others.

5. We worked with other alcoholics without demand for prestige or money.

6. We prayed to God to help us to do these things as best we could.

-allan
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:49 AM
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The first person I would confide in would be your medical doctor. That was the most important and indeed the most useful first step. Have you done that?
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:58 AM
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No, I haven't confided in my dr. I did confide in my friend. She is truly my best friend and I trust her 100%. She said that she was proud of me and had been a little worried about how much I drank. She asked if I could just have a drink now and then. My first response was "I don't think I will" then I said "No, I will not drink again. It is not a positive in my life and I am trying to be the best person I can be. There is enough negative things in life that I have no control over and this (alcohol) I have control over."
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
The first person I would confide in would be your medical doctor. That was the most important and indeed the most useful first step. Have you done that?
I have a medical condition that requires an MRI of my brain and spine once a year and I have several appointments with my dr. and I always would tell them that I drink daily.
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Old 08-29-2016, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyBug66 View Post
I thought it was a step in recovery.
#3

1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol.

2. We got honest with ourselves.

3. We got honest with another person, in confidence.

4. We made amends for harms done others.

5. We worked with other alcoholics without demand for prestige or money.

6. We prayed to God to help us to do these things as best we could.

-allan

can you tell us where these steps came from?
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Old 08-29-2016, 02:02 PM
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I got it from the "Being Booked" thread.
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Old 08-29-2016, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyBug66 View Post
I got it from the "Being Booked" thread.
ok, what youre referring to is what cousinA posted, which is what the
"The really early program " of alcoholics anonymous WAS, which the people of early AA explained to newcomers exactly what was meant.
getting honest with another person wasnt, nor is it today, about telling someone we are alcoholics.

I truly hope, before confiding in someone else, you get an understanding of the program of AA.
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Old 08-29-2016, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
ok, what youre referring to is what cousinA posted, which is what the
"The really early program " of alcoholics anonymous WAS, which the people of early AA explained to newcomers exactly what was meant.
getting honest with another person wasnt, nor is it today, about telling someone we are alcoholics.

I truly hope, before confiding in someone else, you get an understanding of the program of AA.
Hahaha.... I will. I was all excited to have almost completed the list. I'm such a dork!
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Old 08-29-2016, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyBug66 View Post
Hahaha.... I will. I was all excited to have almost completed the list. I'm such a dork!
me too! dorks rock!!!

if ya don't have it, you can find the big book of alcoholics anonymous online here

Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous

the first 164 pages explain the steps and afterwards are personal stories.
I still get amazed reading it and reading myself described in there- a book published 28 years before I was born!
its like they knew!
and don't be afraid to ask questions!

something reeeeallly wild:
I got a copy of the 1st edition. a title of one of the stories caught my eye-"fired again!"
I thought, yup, that's me so I HAVE to read this!
unbelievable reading the story of someone whos drinking started in 1918, yet the drinking and the thinking was identical to me.
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Old 08-29-2016, 03:28 PM
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I think your friend will be proud of you for taking action and making a plan for recovery. Tomsteve is right though. Don't jump the gun. I remember making a list of people who injured/harmed me and my sponsor told me "DO NOT start making amends" Lol some times we're just eager and excited about our new life
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Old 08-29-2016, 10:10 PM
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Thanks for all the advice on this. I still feel like a dork doing it thinking it would help with my recovery. Truly though, I think it did help me. I felt like I was living a secret life and not one of those Hollywood exciting secret lives! Goodnight all.
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