Eight years today. It all started with Day One.
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Eight years today. It all started with Day One.
Hi, guys,
I'm usually over at the F&F forum these days, but still active in AA for my ongoing recovery from alcoholism. Eight years ago today I had my last drink. I remember intentionally waiting till the next night to go to my first AA meeting (for myself--I'd been to plenty over the years in connection with other people's recovery). I also remember turning down the 24-hour chip because I hadn't QUITE made it 24 hours (got one the next night).
I remember, so well, how desperate and awful I felt when I walked into the first meeting, and how people welcomed me and said, "You never have to feel this way again." And they were right--I've had awful days since then, but never the horrible feeling of staring down the rest of my life as an increasingly-trapped and isolated drunk.
The first few months I felt like I was in a fog a lot of the time. Like a flickering lightbulb that you have to tap to get it to stay on. I'd forget things, feel anxious, couldn't make decisions at the grocery store (there were entire food groups--anything that couldn't be microwaved--that had become unfamiliar over the years).
I've had spurts of progress and frustrating plateaus in learning to live a balanced sober life. It seems that recently, I've become much more centered and present in everyday life. I feel almost like a normal person much of the time, lol. I'm more forgiving of myself and other people for being human.
So just a little post of celebration, and hopefully encouragement to anyone there who is new-ish and/or struggling. Hang in there. Keep doing the next right thing, forgive your mistakes (but don't let drinking be one of them--drinking never made ANYTHING better and it will undo much of your hard work), and keep on trudgin' that road of happy destiny. It's SO worth it.
I'm usually over at the F&F forum these days, but still active in AA for my ongoing recovery from alcoholism. Eight years ago today I had my last drink. I remember intentionally waiting till the next night to go to my first AA meeting (for myself--I'd been to plenty over the years in connection with other people's recovery). I also remember turning down the 24-hour chip because I hadn't QUITE made it 24 hours (got one the next night).
I remember, so well, how desperate and awful I felt when I walked into the first meeting, and how people welcomed me and said, "You never have to feel this way again." And they were right--I've had awful days since then, but never the horrible feeling of staring down the rest of my life as an increasingly-trapped and isolated drunk.
The first few months I felt like I was in a fog a lot of the time. Like a flickering lightbulb that you have to tap to get it to stay on. I'd forget things, feel anxious, couldn't make decisions at the grocery store (there were entire food groups--anything that couldn't be microwaved--that had become unfamiliar over the years).
I've had spurts of progress and frustrating plateaus in learning to live a balanced sober life. It seems that recently, I've become much more centered and present in everyday life. I feel almost like a normal person much of the time, lol. I'm more forgiving of myself and other people for being human.
So just a little post of celebration, and hopefully encouragement to anyone there who is new-ish and/or struggling. Hang in there. Keep doing the next right thing, forgive your mistakes (but don't let drinking be one of them--drinking never made ANYTHING better and it will undo much of your hard work), and keep on trudgin' that road of happy destiny. It's SO worth it.
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
BTW, for anyone interested, here's a link to my "story" (and I'm sticking to it, lol), posted after two years of sobriety: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html
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